To think all these mothers bragging about working full time are just using their own mothers as unpaid childcare?

I certainly haven’t had any help from any family members. We’ve done it all on our own (and yes, we both work full time). I certainly wouldn’t say we’re bragging though, it’s not something that really comes up in conversation.

9 times out of 10? Where did you come up with that figure? I worked full time from when my kids were born and used paid for childcare as my mum lives 200 miles away and my MIL lived about 2000 miles away!

I think it depends where you live and what age you had your children.
Some people who had their children young and never moved far from home have a lot of help from their own parents.
People who went away to university, have professional jobs and are older having their children tend to use paid childcare.
I know that’s a generalisation but I think there’s some truth in it.
There are also some single parents in poorer areas who get more help than some mothers living with partners/ husbands.

But why does OP conflate this with 'mothers' and not 'parents'?

Old post but interesting how the OP sees mothers as 'bragging' 🙄 but fails to cast the same judgement on working fathers. Wonder why that is, OP?

I have worked full time since my kids were little and paid for childcare, even as a single parent. I certainly dont brag about it, it was my personal choice to give my kids a certain standard of living that I wanted for them. I dont judge others for their choices, most people are doing what feels right for them anf their circumstances. Life is hard enough without doing down people who have chosen a different path to us. Each to their own

I agree OP, in my experience friends with full time careers have plenty of family support including a) providing regular daytime childcare which avoids having to pay for full time nursery fees b) Ad hoc babysitting which enables couples to have one n one time or just time to decompress/run errands etc Or c) helping with housework, life admin, watching kids school events, getting a shop in etc.
Before anyone jumps on me I’m aware that this won’t be the case for all FT working parents though.
I worked PT when mine were little as the cost of childcare and the additional tax meant that I’d have actually been worse off than working full time.

I never had any family childcare although did work part time for a few years. I went full time whe DS was about 8 or 9. I used to take him to school and his dad who was self employed would pick him up. If we were struggling other parents would help and we would reciprocate. Loads of parents juggle and/or use paid childcare.

I don't think it's helpful for parents to be making these jabs at eachother. From personal experience, my husband and I both work full time and our child has never been looked after by either set of grandparents, not even for 5 minutes as a baby to allow me a shower. We pay for nursery and have done since she started. In my experience working full time with a young child and no support is utterly exhausting, especially considering there is no safety net and no one to call in an emergency. I wouldn't dream of making comments or assumptions about other parents, their working or childcare situations. In the trenches of bringing up children it helps to just be a bit more kind!

Are you the same poster who started the IVF thread, or are there two OPs this week who had a baby at 16 and are negatively generalising about other groups of parents ? .

Eh?

No. My mother lives 2.5 hours away & DHs has done one day of emergency childcare in 8 years.

My parents do an evening babysit abouts 2-3 times per year, usually for mine/DH birthday/our anniversary. Often they get us a ticket for something & the "gift" includes the offer to babysit which is brill. They do usually do 2-3 days once during summer holidays, then SiL usually offers the same but if she didn't we'd pay for camps.

We pay for childcare covering our working hours and always have.

I've always worked FT, I live on the other side of the world from my family.
Single parent.
Any support I've had I paid for.

I read about people on here with grandparent support but I dont recognise anyone like that in real life.

I work full time, as does my mum. Childcare has nothing to do with my mum.

I had my eldest at 16, she went to a day nursery from 12 weeks while I went back to sixth form. I stayed at home with my youngest for a year, as I was in a financial position to then. But have worked full time since 2016 and as a single parent since 2020.

I actually don't know anyone who is able to use their parents for full time childcare. Everyone's parents in my circle aren't of retirement age yet.

Why all this stuff about "hate" ?

Most people aren't hateful. Most people don't actually care that much what other people do with their lives and don't waste energy hating others. If people you call friends are genuinely hateful towards you, they aren't your friends.

Because that's the judgement you heard at home. The point is to work out what makes YOU happy I. Life, live what you want and let others live theirs

Everyone's lives are different and that's ok

How does growing up with such judgemental parents not prepare you for the judgement of others?

How are the nine out of ten women who rely on grandmothers acting like they are better than you? What are they doing, exactly?

OP, you sound a lot like my sister. She had a baby at 16. My parents were very supportive and practically raised the baby while she went off to 'find herself' (i.e. kept on partying while the rest of us provided free childcare). While my parents were very supportive, they weren't exactly delighted with the situation, and my sister seemed put out that no one wanted to throw a party to celebrate her getting pregnant at 16. She continues to have a chip on her shoulder.

Gently, I think you have a chip on your shoulder too. I cannot imagine anyone 'bragging' about working full time, it's simply a fact that many of us do. To say as such isn't 'bragging.' It really does sound to me like you need to work on your self-esteem.

You don't need to be hundreds of miles away for childcare to be impractical, even the next town over can be undoable. Your argument doesn't hold weight.

You're trying to deal with the choices of your past. Do that. Without belittling others

I have never heard anyone ‘bragging’ about working full time. People do what they have to do.

They are very much the majority in cities, which house around 50% of the UK's population.

But what were you thinking? I can't imagine a child getting pregnant because she was labouring under the delusion it was going to be financially remunerative, but equally it's hard to see why you weren't advised against continuing the pregnancy, because you could be in no way ready to be a parent, regardless of your finances. You were a kid.