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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think all these mothers bragging about working full time are just using their own mothers as unpaid childcare?

438 replies

Ruddeo · 17/03/2026 08:57

I came to this realisation recently after years of being made to feel like a lazy piece of shit by them, because I had my first child when I was 16 and didn’t have a job until they went to school and this is part time.

Once you dig beneath the surface of the full time job, the active social life and weekends, 9 times out of 10 there’s a tired exhausted grandma who just wants some rest!

OP posts:
SpringHasSprungTheGrassIsRiz · 17/03/2026 09:05

Not for my family. I work full time but have flexible hours in order to fit around family commitments and I pay for an independent school to give me child care cover. DD7 is at school from 0830 - 1630 every day. I start work at 0630 in order to fit it all in.

Original poster
Ruddeo · 17/03/2026 09:04

Statsquestion1 · 17/03/2026 09:01

That’s why you get nursery to fit around your job! That’s what most people I know did and do.

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The job I do has unusual hours and most nurseries where I live finish at 3. I also don’t drive. Yes I’m aware this sounds like excuses but I’m through with feeling like shit about it when there’s so many people just using their own mothers as an unpaid childminder and acting like they are better than me

OP posts:
WhereIsMyLight · 17/03/2026 09:04

You had a baby young and feel like other people applied generalisations to you which weren’t fair. Yet you are prepared to apply generalisations to everyone with different circumstances to you. Obviously that’s fair.

From our circle, I would say it is one couple that worked full time and the grandparents did the childcare but that was both sets of grandparents. Everyone else I know uses paid childcare and muddles through. Some have maybe 1 day of grandparent support but absolutely not 9/10.

HotBaths · 17/03/2026 09:04

Ruddeo · 17/03/2026 09:00

Yes 9 times out of 10 I said. I understand there are people who use paid childcare, it is hard to find a job that fits around nursery hours though. The amount of people who just have their own mothers doing absolutely everything and act like they did it themselves is understated though

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I literally don’t know anyone who has their parents’ doing childcare outside very occasional emergencies or unexpected school days off, and every woman I know works FT.

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/03/2026 09:04

Who are these people specifically?

myrtleWilson · 17/03/2026 09:03

I doubt it’s anywhere near 9/10… most parents I’ve known have used paid childcare

Statsquestion1 · 17/03/2026 09:01

Ruddeo · 17/03/2026 09:00

Yes 9 times out of 10 I said. I understand there are people who use paid childcare, it is hard to find a job that fits around nursery hours though. The amount of people who just have their own mothers doing absolutely everything and act like they did it themselves is understated though

Show quote history

That’s why you get nursery to fit around your job! That’s what most people I know did and do.

Original poster
Ruddeo · 17/03/2026 09:00

JaneFondue · 17/03/2026 08:58

? I used paid childcare.

Yes 9 times out of 10 I said. I understand there are people who use paid childcare, it is hard to find a job that fits around nursery hours though. The amount of people who just have their own mothers doing absolutely everything and act like they did it themselves is understated though

OP posts:
LassiKopiano24 · 17/03/2026 09:00

I had my first child in my teens and I worked full time I paid childcare in term times and I was very lucky family helped me in the half terms or I just could not afford it, on top of bills and rent etc, however I know full time working women who can’t rely on family also.

Statsquestion1 · 17/03/2026 09:00

or they use paid childcare?

Clogblog · 17/03/2026 08:59

I work full time. In 10 years, we have had maybe 7 hours in total of family babysitting

Harhar · 17/03/2026 08:58

All of them?

JaneFondue · 17/03/2026 08:58

? I used paid childcare.

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