AIBU to be upset by my neighbours' huge extension?

Because by not accessing the land the wall would have looked absolutely awful. Believe me we tried everything to stop him doing what he did including solicitors letters but eventually it came down to did we want a horrendously ugly unpainted wall or a decent one painted to match the rest of his house.

The scandal is that you cannot force someone to make a party wall agreement.

My year of hell being described as 'rolling over' is rather ironic.

I'm sorry OP, this sounds like a shit situation but you can only do what's in your power to do. Document and take photos of all the damage to your garden and drive (do you have some "before" pictures you can dig out?) They will need to pay for the damage. I'm not sure whether they'd also be obliged to cover the cost of screens / landscaping solutions to restore your privacy; but you should start investigating the options. Planting some quick growing trees or bamboo might look nicer than just a screen alone?

And you do not consent to their contractors accessing your land until you have an acceptable agreement in writing.

ask for:

• timeline of works including when they expect to need access to your land
• remediation works by a contractor of your choice, to the previous standard, for your garden and driveway or a cash amount based on the average of quotes from three contractors chosen by you
• considerate working hours and no loud music in the area near your house
• no work in or near your garden at weekends

“The builders literally have to work on our land all day to build it”

So why do you let them? You say it’s because you want them to finish quickly; you say you didn’t oppose planning permission because you didn’t want to fall out with the neighbours - but you could have said,”No objection to the plans but they may not come onto our property at all - I don’t want their builders on my land” - and they would have had to modify the plans. Digging up your driveway is outrageous. It seems, though, from reading all your posts, that what you actually mind about is that a young person has been gifted a house and you haven’t. That’s life. Sometimes you’re lucky; sometimes you’re not. Some people get fabulous jobs/legacies/gifted family money; most of us just plod on doing the best we can. You need to get over being so bitter about your NDN - so she’s lucky. Whatever the extended house is like, it doesn’t take away from what you have.

As you are outside the UK, no ideal.

In the UK they would be expected to pay to return your property to the way it was before (relay drive, landscape planted areas etc) but as you are not in the UK no one will know unless you tell us where you are and someone knows the law there.

Haven't read full thread, but do they have party wall agreement in place with you? They should do if building up to /close to boundary, and various conditions can be added in around hours and manner of work, potential compensation etc.

If they haven't, they have left themselves wide open to claims for any damage from you, and as they have breached guidance by not getting it, you would be likely to win any claims.

However, you probably don't want bad feeling with them, but definitely look into party wall for your own info, and document their works as evidence. If you have any pre work photos that would also help

Ultimately this, perfectly reasonable to be sad and upset that your living arrangements are no longer as perfect as they used to be. Nothing you can do to stop or change that so you have to move on and accept the new situation

But that’s their problem! By not objecting to the planning, not throwing the builders off your land, not telling them they are not allowed to ruin your garden, you are giving the impression you’re fine with all of this, and aren’t someone who needs consulting!

Where are you based please?
Do your office copie entries have any clauses for a right to light and air?

That is a ‘them’ problem. They have no right to trespass on your land and destroy your property (plants, fences etc). This is not essential maintenance and even if it was they would still need to make good. You need to either talk to them and get a written agreement about access and remediation or contact a solicitor to do it for you.

in terms of being on bad terms - do you socialise with them, do they take in your parcels or help with your bins, is there any material difference made in your life by them being pissed off with you for asserting your rights politely and firmly?

@Bulbsbulbsbulbs In the uk you get a solicitors letter to say no access to your land. We stopped DMs neighbour doing this. They don’t have any right to access your land without an agreement, so say you want one. Why roll over?

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to say - you need to be more considerate when building this, you need to make right the damage to our garden / home (if there is any). You need to look into your legal rights in the country you’re in for this should you need them, which it seems you haven’t done.

But from your responses here something makes me feel that you won’t. Perhaps you should end the thread and continue to seethe?

This exact thing happened to me here in the UK. They used their whole back garden and built right up to the boundary. They should have got a party wall agreement but didn't. They ruined our garden and refused to pay. We ended up with a huge looming wall to look at rather than a fence. The planners couldn't have given less of a shit.

Anyway, I moved. They had really ruined my little haven with their attitude ( laughed in my face when I complained about the damage to my garden) and general selfishness.

So I sympathise with you. I think you should definitely ask for your garden to be returned to what it was. Then I'd live with it got 6 months whilst looking at other options. Then decide whether to stay or go

To me it sounds like your bitter because your wealthy parents didn’t help you, and you’ve now gone on to have a large family yourself that you too won’t be able to help on the housing ladder. It’s horribly bitter and twisted to be sniffy about a generous family helping their youngsters - probably gives the grandparents security too, knowing they have family on hand!

There are two types of people in my experience “I struggled so I will do all in my power to help my kids” and “I struggled so you can too” bad luck that your parents are type two really OP!

Why do you agree to them using your garden. Can’t you say no?

@ElfinsMum
Well, you come across as jealous of the house next door! So if you don’t care, why say about the house at all? Its newness is obviously bugging you.

I do get pleasure from my house. It’s large and lovely. You are at odds with your neighbour so obviously not everyone thinks like you but you don’t want to spend the money. Your choice but I love having a house I’m proud of and it’s got a 15 year old kitchen. It still fills me with joy every morning. You don’t appear to like yours so why not have something better if you can afford it? You prefer to criticise others for what they appreciate. Your neighbours want something better and you resent it.

Don’t be so silly. If you’ve brought your children up right then no, it doesn’t stop them being independent or having ambition.

It shouldn’t be frowned upon to help your children if you can, because if you can, you should. Nobody should have to struggle just so people like you don’t feel hard done by.