AIBU to be upset by my neighbours' huge extension?

Surely you just secure your own land and say no access to the builders? I find this whole scenario bizarre. No recognition that a nice house makes some people happy either. The neighbours obviously don’t agree.

I wouldn't write a letter initially,just go and talk to them.

You’re so envious of them being gifted this home, I really hope you will be doing the same for your own kids.

But the surveyor and architect can advise, but don’t supervise the building work. It’s not on them unless they’ve ratified plans that contravene regulations, and which are picked up by building control subsequently.

You’re contradicting yourself about the local authority — either it’s incredibly strict, or it’s lax and corrupt. Of course, you didn’t object to your neighbours’ planning application, so you will never know if it will have been upheld.

ETA Objecting may not have stopped the extension, but might have mitigated some aspects. I was involved in a community planning objection against a new housing estate where we last lived. After we won twice and the plans were sent back for reconsideration twice, the estate was eventually allowed (because the local authority had not factored in enough new housing in its five year plan, so the default was to pass everything), BUT we did get significant concessions. The original 142 houses was down to 60, and all the houses along the boundary with existing houses were made bungalows rather than two-storey to mitigate over-looking, loss of light, privacy etc. it was a reasonable outcome all round.

I sometimes think I live on a building site! I live in an area where all the properties are bungalows as the land was deemed unsuitable for two story houses due to it being an old marsh. So what tends to happen after one is sold which usually when an elderly residents dies or goes into a care home is that younger ( ie 50 odd) buy it and start a massive renovation project. They often dig new pilings and lift the roof to create a loft extension, add on an extension as well as replace windows and gut the inside. All the original bungalows are red brick wire white window frames but most of the renovated ones have cream render and grey window frames.

Each to their own of course but it’s a huge disruption to everyone in the fairly narrow roads with contractors vehicles and skips parked out side our house for months on end. The main issue though for me is that as the land here is so wet, not only was it originally marshy farmland but a couple of brooks were diverted into underground culverts and the water table is high so our gardens regularly flood after heavy rain. Many bungalows like mine have a large space underneath to contain the flood water until it subsides naturally, I have a trap door in my hallway to access the 6ft space. Unfortunately this leads to vibrations from any digging works to spread through these spaces and create cracks in neighbouring walls! I’m constantly finding small in the internal plaster, get them filled and painted then another renovation starts and they appear again!

Both properties either side have sold and been renovated in the last two years and now the one opposite has just gone on the market! It’s priced as a project as it does need modernising so I expect the contractors will be here over the summer months! Ah well, all I can do is grit my teeth and hope that they don’t block my driveway too often!

I think the fact that you know this is coming from a place of envy and jealousy is a solid first step.

You sound very weak and passive. You say you know nothing about planning but decided by yourself that their application was 'correct'.

Before I allowed my home and its value to be destroyed, I'd have had a planning consultant look at the application and advise me.

But you'd rather accept whatever they want to do without checking? That's very strange. You seem to assume just because they are wealthy that they'll stick to the rules. Very naive.

Where do you live OP ?

I think you’re being deeply naive that the presence of an architect and surveyor means it’s necessarily planning compliant or doesn’t illegally encroach — the architect and surveyor work for your neighbours, not the local authority. And why is the boundary in the wrong place if the neighbours were the ones who sold the plot your house is built on? I mean, wouldn’t they have put it in exactly the place that suited them? And it’s not legal for them to be on your land, regardless. Our neighbours had to ask us for two ‘legs’ of their scaffolding to be on our property while they re plastered. They’re mid-terrace and have asked twice if they could have garden waste, including large tree branches, taken out through our garden. The first time we said yes. The second time, we’d had our garden landscaped and said no, so they had to take it out through their house.

There’s zero point in seething in meek silence and venting on here because you’re too much of a wet lettuce to tell the builders they’re not allowed to be on your property.

We could. They could have a small house near us or deposit for a more expensive area. One chose deposit and one has not yet decided. DH was a high earner. We saw it as important. We have more than enough for our needs. Most parents give towards a deposit if they can. Appreciate some cannot.

My lovely neighbours had an extension that takes some where between 2 and hours of sunlight from our patio depending on the time of year. It still winds me up 7 years later - especially as they didn’t match the bricks so it looks a mess.

they are lovely though.

Good question. The parents who can afford to gift their children a house or flat are surely a small minority of the county as a whole, but I guess that if you know one person in this position, you are more likely to know several. I only know parents who have provided some or all of a deposit; I have no friends or relatives of any generation who could afford to buy their son or daughter a whole property, or who would want to, probably. As you say, is it healthy? Maybe that depends on the child and how well they understand and handle money.

Why did you let them dig up your drive and into your garden, what's the law in your country.

Why are you so worried about this “relationship” when they clearly don’t give a shit about it? You being so passive is letting them quite literally walk all over you. It’s one thing to let builders on your property, once a proper legal framework is in place, quire another for them to wreck your drive. You need to redirect your anger, go ballistic at the damage, and get the builders off your land until everything is formalised.

You need to get a party wall surveyor immediately and your neighbours should not have started work until a party wall agreement was in place of the work is taking place within 3m from the boundary. You don’t need to worry about the cost of the surveyor because it’s up to your neighbours to pay for this. I can’t believe you have let this work go ahead without raising your concerns over the planing application but most of all not getting a party wall agreement in place. While we never expected thst our objections woukd stop our new neighbours from building their extension, our comments were taken into consideration by the council and they insisted on some design changes to make it more aesthetically acceptable, so it was well worth making comments on the application. They were not allowed to start excavation or other work near to the boundary until both sets of party wall surveyors had reached a formal agreement which protected our interests. These laws are there to give a degree of protection to neighbours in these circumstances - if you don’t borer to comment on planing applications or employ a party wall surveyor then you really do lose your right to complain.

@CarrotVan Neither do they have to give permission. No access is reasonable. We did this with DM when neighbour extended. They build from the inside out. If they build up yo a boundary, it’s their issue regarding the work needed, not yours.

I know you said you’re not in the UK, but do you have home insurance with legal cover? Do you have a mortgage company who also have an interest in your property? I think this needs a hell of a lot more than just a letter. In your shoes I’d be onto a lawyer sharpish. You need to make sure this boundary fudge is done legitimately, so that you don’t have any headaches if you ever come to sell. And it will be far easier to make any amends now than before the whole thing is built.

Yes there is a pride that comes from saying we earned this, but what happens if that comes too late for a lot of people?

Take your situation, you are a family of 5 living in (I cant remember the exact way you described it earlier but the MDF kitchen stood out), you might have earned a bigger house in 5 years, 10 years who knows. By that stage some of the kids may have moved out and actually the time when you really needed the house has passed.

Someone who receives help from parents get the house they need when they need.

If a parent can afford it why would they not want to make their childs life easier and better?

The way a lot of parents (mine included) look at these things is "you're going to get this money one day anyway, I would rather you get it now when you need it and when we are around to see you enjoy it"

As I have already said, its nothing to do with the planning process, its about trespass and damage to YOUR property. Honestly did the builders just turn up and start working on your property and you didn't go out and tell them to stop? If a stranger turned up and starting digging up your garden would you not stop them?

If it’s fine for them to build on the boundary then you can’t argue that BUT they shouldn’t be accessing your side of the boundary to do it without your permission. I can’t imagine any jurisdiction allows wilful trespass and property damage to build an extension

I think you have to both agree to the type of fence.

I would never agree to a big metal fence.
Can you ask for a paling or wood fence?

Plant a barrier near your fence. I would start planting Hops plants on very tall poles and a non clumping bamboo like Bambusa Textilis Gracilis.
Think of adding a large shade tree in your garden.
Privacy is your aim.

At leact you have a sweet cottage and not a huge monstronsity in which to live.

@ElfinsMumNot the builders fault? No agreed. It’s your fault. You have been far too relaxed about this. Secure your property and ask for repairs. The owners will say it’s the fault of the builders and you will have an issue with them now. The owners will deny responsibility. Secure your land and speak to the builders. The owners almost certainly won’t pay for screening. You can try! Somewhat late in the day.