AIBU to think rewarding children for high grades is unfair?

That’s exactly what we did too

Yes maybe but that’s a lot to expect kids to be motivated by. In sports they announce the teams, kids cheer as they race, they get a trophy or certificate and pats on the back. Academic kids get none of that.

im not saying give rewards as parents per grade, I think that’s a bad idea. But schools should celebrate kids who achieve academically with certificates and applause just as they would for kids who do well in sports. In my experience this is phased out because it can make kids feel bad. I would love to see effort celebrated as well but don’t well academically is also something to celebrate.

My parents rewards GCSEs with cash - £100 for each A+, £50 for A and £30 for B.
I, on the other hand, have told my dsughter if I see continuous effort I'll take her on a trip of her choice before results, i dont care about the results I want to see the effort. (She's home educated so I actually SEE the effort daily) .

I think you should do it and then match the equivalent amount as a gift to your daughter when he gets his reward to help salve any issues that may arise.

I was bobbling along at school getting Bs and Cs. My parents told me I would get £50 for every A I got 15+ years ago and my goodness that motivated me to try harder. I even resat some exams to get a better grade.

I got mostly As and some Bs, thrilled with my cash reward. I didn't have the capacity, as a teen, to understand how important grades were. Nevertheless, my bribed As got me into a good university and then my 2:1 degree got me into a decent job.

I now exchange my time and labour for a salary, so really we're back where we started ;)

Perhaps I would have been just as happy at a less good university but I would have struggled to get a job given how competitive the market was, and has become since.

Yet I know a 23 year old with a first in law and earning 22k full time. She's been trying for other jobs for over a year now. Go figure. It's not all about good grades equal good incone

I like the idea of paying for revision at an hourly rate! That’s how it works as an adult so makes sense to me.

Of course children should be rewarded for success.

@OnlyMabelInTheBuilding I was only offering a suggestion as to why I think people care so much. I’m not much bothered what others do.

But then again why shouldn't they. ? Often the bright kids are ignored in schools as they are trying to bring the lower levels up, The " working towards" kids will get more attention at school. Similar to the kids who get rewards for behaving like a normal human rather than being disruptive

Just because a child is bright doesn't mean they shouldn't get recognized and reward for it

Of course it's not 'wrong.' Don't do it if you don't want to. No-one is forcing you to.

But that’s like anything in life. You explain what you think to your children, and why you parent the way you do. You don’t expect others to change their behaviour to make your life easier.

It’s the parents deciding what the rewards are though. Right.

I know my eldest is capable of 9s in the majority of her GCSEs.

She’s very academic and most things come easy to her.

I know that the most likely barrier to her achieving the grades she capable of is her not doing enough revision.

So I’m very happy to put a £ value to each 8/9 grade if that’s what it takes for her to knuckle down for the final push.

Also, maybe unsurprisingly, she is not a fan of most sports. So I’m happy to reward her just for showing up and getting stuck in.

I recognise what her best looks like, and that’s what I reward. Just because that’s top academic grades doesn’t mean we don’t celebrate achievements in other areas that aren’t exceptional.

My DS has a financial incentive to pass his GCSE’s, because I love him but he’s a lazy fecker despite being reasonably academically able. He would rather put in no effort and get a bunch of 4’s than put in a bit more effort and get 6’s and 7’s. It’s all very well saying the good grades are the reward but he’s a 16 year old boy and his brain just doesn’t work that way. So if I have to pay him £50 for every grade over 6 he gets then I will. Because that’s what works for my kid.

My DD worked extremely hard for her A stars. My son could have worked as hard but he would not have got the same result. Grades are great but they are not the only measure of success. So reward effort (not that my son put in much effort at all in school, but he is at the job he’s doing) and rejoice in whatever successes they have.

I think it’s probably that they couldn’t afford to do the same for their own children. So their children feel left out. Or that it seems to be aimed at high achievers, which their children are not.

The reward is the grade. We definitely won’t be ‘paying’ for GCSE grades when the time comes. At my school it’s very common for parents to pay for grades. For example, £100 for every grade 7 etc. Ours get a small treat like a takeaway of their choice when we get reports but this is based on their Attitude To Learning grade (effort and behaviour) not results. They’re both very able so results are always good, but they wouldn’t get a treat if their ATL was poor.

Yes I wonder that

I rewarded my kids for working hard for their GCSEs and A levels. I don’t see why it’s anyone else’s business.

How is other people rewarding their kids unfair on yours? You reward them relative to their own potential, if one of your DC has higher ability than the other you reward them relative to their own abilities. How is this even an issue?

The problem is how do you measure effort? With your average teen if you combine it with their ability levels and current attainment the outcome is actually the easiest way to measure the effort.

Following mock grades mainly in the 6 ro 8 range financial rewards are starting at a 7 for DD this summer and going upwards from there. The more effort she puts in the higher her grades will be and the more cash she will get.

If her mock grades were mainly 5s, the cash would probably be starting from a 6 instead. Targets need to be aspirational but achievable with hard work.

It’s not how the real world works though. In the real world, you don’t get an extra reward from your parents as well as the thing you’ve worked for. You just get the thing you worked for.

So any parental rewards are outside of “the real world” really - whether based on grades or effort. Except they’re not, because everything that happens, happens in the real world.

Does he know that if he does well he’s more likely to get a job that pays more money?

I mean with everything else being equal, him being otherwise the same person with the same other skills. Not saying those who do better in exams always earn more, but the same person with better grades should do better than themselves with lower grades.

I agree with you op. I have one very capable child and one really below expected level. I can’t reward the capable child without upsetting the one who tried harder but is just not gifted that way. I reward effort instead.

I remember a kid in my class who was average/below average whos father paid him by the hours to revise for GCSEs. He came out with really good grades! If I could afford to do that I so would it’s the effort being rewarded not the end grade and similar to work being paid by the hour like that

Why do people get so upset about things other parents do with their children? It doesn’t affect you, it’s nothing to do with you.