AIBU to consider shaving my 7-year-old’s legs after teasing?

I’m sorry, I don’t underestimate the impact of bullying. My Mum didn’t let me shave but did agree to wax me towards the end of primary school. I guess my point is that even though I was then technically hairless and “fitting in” I was still a 10 year old being waxed. And that wasn’t great for the self esteem either because I knew that wasn’t normal. I still grew up knowing I was abnormally hairy and hoped nobody would find out my secret. It wasn’t a miracle cure that suddenly made me feel great about myself.

There is no answer to this. I feel desperately sad for young girls being made to feel self conscious this young and I do think regardless of what you do about it there’s a risk the feelings of inadequacy and difference stays with them. Ideally we’d tackle why hairy girls have to feel like that but that’s pie in the sky I guess.

I got teased for the exact same thing and I don't think it would hurt I would do it

I’d give her the option and do it if she wants. When I was seven I got bullied horribly for my arm hair. I’m blonde but I tan quite dark so my arm and leg hair would really stand out when we came back from being abroad. Boys and girls alike were really relentlessly nasty about it.

This is a really hard one because I was that kid - although it was because of PCOS x pasty Scottish skin. What I would say is that I was teased/bullied from around age 11, which is probably a more socially acceptable age to start shaving. Would I let my daughter at age 7? Honestly no. Like others have said, my legs (and underarms, and other places…) actually look worse since starting to shave (with my dad’s razor as my mum wasn’t interested way back ages 11). Horrendous, tough black stubble that is incredibly noticeable. Unless you plan to do it every day (no joke) there’s no way, logistically, physically and mentally you can start now. Have a chat with the teacher and reassess in the summer.

I think this point is spot on. She will potentially see it that way and feel like she isn’t being supported.

another option is that veet pure- the sensitive one, may be better on young skin?

The alternative is the permanent impact of your mother refusing to help you and sending you into school to get bullied every day.

I would definitely say that the bullies are wrong, that she's beautiful anyway, but if she wants to remover her hair then you will help her.

For those promoting resilience - were you a hairy child and subject to teasing?

I was about to say the same- how about a silky mitt/ crystal sander jobbo first and see if that reduces it a bit- less invasive than shaving and might give her a bit of confidence?

I think people do underestimate how bad it feels to be hairy and self conscious when you are a young girl, it can really mess with your confidence- I would let her try some kind of removal to see if she felt happier with it, especially if she does sports. Kids can be cruel, girls and boys both- if it is something she wants to do then I don’t see anything wrong with it- it’s a personal choice

Exactly!

I’d bet all the people saying don’t do it didn’t experience this as a child. As someone who had odd comments made teasing about leg hair, absolutely let her know you think she’s beautiful but that the decision is in her control. I would epilate or wax though rather than shave so it doesn’t grow back stubbly. Saying this as someone who wore cardigans and leggings for years as a child and teen because of this.

Recently, at an excercise class, there was
a young women with hairy armpits and
legs. This is the future. One where women dont have to remove body hair. It’s a stupid idea really. Why don’t men do it?

That’s interesting, I never looked on it that way. I fell out with my parents when I was older because of the bullying and the severe impact on my mental health, I was trying to commit suicide from the age of 10. They tried to help (in hindsight) but didn’t want me to change to fit in. They also were very old fashioned and would not allow me razors/cream. I think there is a middle ground ‘you are beautiful as you are and do not need to change. If you want to do this however, let’s try…’

The school needs to create a safe space and environment for this child !

Op please report this to the school !

I am hairy. I was a hairy little kid. It’s a very personal decision but if she was mine I’d shave them. Luckily DD has her dads colouring so she has light hairs so I don’t really have to deal with the whole thing just yet.

IF she shaves though, please make sure you teach her to do it properly. I managed to cut a ribbon of skin off my first time and had a scar for ages.

As someone who got bullied mercilessly over this I would say do it (legs). Arms are different.

maybe wax or use cream instead of shaving. Society shouldn’t be like this but it is.ive never really forgiven my carers for not sorting this issue out for me and saving me the years of bullying.

This.
But I feel for you OP, my daughter is 10 and has had the exact same thing. In summer, she wears long socks to hide her calves for this reason.
I have tried to really instill in her that she needs to develop resilience and tell these boys to go to hell, that hair is a natural part of the human body. Because I agree with the OP, you can’t fix everything and they will just fond something else. And I am really trying to buy time, to keep the hair removal for later when she is just that bit older.
I would also think about how you do the hair removal: I would try and bleach the arm hair (Jolene), that works really well for me. And see if you can do that on her legs, or try waxing, rather than shaving.

Do not shave your little girls legs and especially not her arms

jeeeeezus H CHRIST

Poor little girl. She has many years of being expected to be hairfree - don't start at 7 please. Kids are so absolutely horrible.

My mum wouldn't let me shave my legs til I was 14 and the teasing in secondary was MISERY. Then again I was also mercilessly teased for being mixed race so it was misery anyway.

I think at 7 I wouldn't shave her legs for her but in secondary, most of the other girls will shave so then I would.

Im mix about it because i was bullied bad about having hairy legs, but my mother would not let me shave them.
At 7 i would have to say no maybe when your 10 we will talk about it again.
If it is one of them things where its to much for her maybe hair remover cream.
i feel bad for her as its not nice but 7 is to young.
Maybe she will forget all about this in a few days try not to bring it up.

As i said im mixed about it.

Could she wear knee length thin white socks instead? My DD is 15 but as lazy as they come so she wears knee length socks and only shaves her knees and just above (because she rolls her bloody skirt up too) so no one can tell.
I’ve got to say, I’d probably let her do it if she comes back again with the same problem. I was a hairy child and pinched my mums razor to do it because I hated it.

I don’t disagree with the sentiment but what about the potential permanent impact of your own mother essentially agreeing with the bullies and helping you change your natural appearance to appease them. I would not want my seven year old bullied but equally I wouldn’t want them to think you have to change yourself to fit in because where does that end.

As someone who has dark thick hair.. yes do it if it is that noticable.

it might make her feel nicer in herself and more confident and you can take her to get her hair done and nails as well

I’d try really hard not to get rid of the hair so young and build her confidence instead. There are so many people nowadays embracing body hair I really think you should encourage her to be ok with it. Many celebrities have appeared on the red carpet with armpit hair. Address it with the school and make sure they put a stop to the comments. It is really hard though especially watching your child be upset