AIBU to consider shaving my 7-year-old’s legs after teasing?

I'd get her an electric shaver so she has the option when she's ready. They're pretty easy and quick and safe.

My youngest daughter is 11, and I’ve been taking her for an eyebrow wax for about 12 months. She is very pale skinned with jet black hair. Since a toddler she’s had huge black eyebrows that have, over time, become a monobrow. Her dad is dark haired. Me, her 2 siblings and all my extended family are blonde and light ginger. Which makes it more noticeable possibly.

Like you I wrestled with this. Course I raised it with school, the comments from the boys about her huge eyebrows and monobrow. School tried to stamp on it and had talks about not mentioning anyone’s personal appearance etc…..

But of course it carried on; she mentioned it more and more. I did ask her what she wanted, then we got them waxed. The monibrow is gone, the rest is v subtle. We go about every 6 weeks. They don’t even charge me. They look completely natural.

Her legs are the same. She hasn’t mentioned them, of course I haven’t. But I willl deal with that in the same way if she does. Through gritted teeth. She’s not going to single handily change decades of society conditioning, patriarchy and beauty standards by putting up with a monobrow that she hates and makes her feel uncomfortable. I’ve decided not to overthink it.

My DD shaved her legs at a similar age for similar reasons. After doing it a couple of times the whole issue settled down. I think knowing that she could choose whether to shave her legs or not gave her a feeling of control over it and it has not been an issue since.

I was a ‘hairy’ child who wasn’t allowed to shave, nonetheless I do not think shaving the legs of a 7 year old is the answer, and that working on how to respond to silly comments from 7 year old boys rather than internalising them, treating them as if they are true and important and meaningful, and acting on them, would be more helpful. What if they say something about her eyebrows? Or her upper lip hair?

100% agree

I had thick dark body hair as a young girl, it made my life completely miserable. I was the one wearing thick tights and cardigan to school all the way through the summer. My life only got better when I got laser treatment many years later.

I’d have a word with your DDs teacher about the gobby boy and see if it settles down. If it doesn’t I’d be helping your DD to remove the offending hair.

I would but not with a razor. An electric lady shave sort of thing would be better. It’s a myth that hairs grow back thicker and darker. I’d not want her being embarrassed or teased. Yes the behaviour of the boy needs addressing also.

Absolutely do not shave a 7yo! It will just make the hair grow harder, darker and stronger.

My sister had the same issue with her daughter, she used a special dye to make them lighter so they were a lot less visible. It worked well for my niece.

At 7, no way. Bullies will always find something to criticise. I remember when my DD asked if she could shave her arms at primary but I said no way, maybe when you’re older. Now she shaves nothing (adult).

Do you shave your legs/arm pits? Does your DD?

Very well said!

Aw hell no.

Please don't teach your DD at such a tender age that she must pander to and change herself to suit men and their shite.

There's nothing wrong with her exactly the way she is.

You say she will be shaving in a few years anyway - who says she will? maybe she will, maybe she'll choose not to. Either way, it should be her choice, made freely with no pressure, and now is the perfect time to start teaching this lesson.

Don't look at the short term effect on the bullying that shaving might have, look at the long term damage and the message you are sending her.

And tell the school. Mention misogyny, discrimination, whatever words you need to use for them to take it seriously. They need to speak to the boys and his parents,cand have a whole class discussion so the girls who joined in also get the message loud and clear.

If you do this @Gillettegirl you will be reinforcing what this boy and nasty girls have said. You will be directly contributing to her body image issues which will affect her for life.
Please don't do this. Speak to the school about the bullying behaviour from both the boy and girls in question.
When did it become normal for women and/or girls to shave their arms? I ask because its not something anyone i know even in my dds generation does.

But you did it at 17 because someone teased you once, why is it different for this little girl who has been teased by more than one person and she isn;t told enough to be able to do anything by herself?

I agree it's disgusting that anyone is made to feel this way for being a natural, but they ARE made to feel this way and some will continue to be cruel. She should be reassured that hair is completely normal, but also her feelings should be listened to. If maybe bleaching her hair or similar makes her feel more confident right now, why not allow it? When she gets older she'll likely do it anyway, just like the majority of women.

I don't understand this opinion it's fine to let her get bullied and make her miserable because of the patriarchy or whatever, when she'll end up doing it in a few years like the majority do when their hair becomes noticeable. The OPs DD just happens to have more noticeable hair right now and it's upsetting her.

By talking about how hair is completely normal and this boy/those girls are just little shits (in age appropriate terms) plus giving her choices that you support, is going to instill confidence. Not forcing her to be constantly worried about it and deal with awful comments.

As much as we'd like to live in a kind, lovely world, we don't. As long as she knows there is nothing wrong with her, she should have some sort of say in how to feel more confident. Until all the mum's and teachers stop removing leg hair, girls are going to see it as the done thing once hair becomes prominent.

I was very hairy (considerably less with age) and used to shave my legs in summer as an adult.

For a seven year old I’d be inclined to lighten the hairs with cream and trim them short rather than shave them. Would that work for your DD?

I have really strong feminist views and once I became educated about the politics of women being expected to remove body hair to satisfy patriarchal ideals rooted in misogyny and racism, I stopped removing mine.

I would love to live in a world where this wasn't an issue, and am happy as an adult woman to take a stand against it.

BUT as a dark skinned little girl who went through untreated precocious puberty and was bullied throughout primary and most of secondary for having body hair and large breasts that i had no say over and most definitely stopped me doing sports, devastated my mental health and resulted in a borderline eating disorder, I would say it is not your daughter's, nor my daughter's, responsibility to change the world at the expense of their own wellbeing when they are too young to understand the politics or consent to this.

So I have been shaving my daughter's legs and armpits, at her request, since about 8 or 9, because her psychological wellbeing and enjoyment of her childhood takes precedence over my feminist ideals when she would be the one getting bullied.

I have explained to her that body hair is natural, and that it is not OK for girls and women to be made to feel like they have to remove it, and that I as a grown woman choose to reject the harmful beauty standards our culture imposes, however I also understand what it is like to go through school, and do not want her to suffer like I did, for principles that aren't hers, and frankly weren't mine either as a little girl.

I took DD for leg waxing when she was 9 or 10 for the same reason. I wouldn’t have shaved though because of the stubble.

At the risk of going round in circles, having had a mother who did help me I can only warn that its really hard to grow up believing you’re beautiful as you are and the bullies are wrong when your mum’s waxing your arms and legs before a primary school disco.

I’m genuinely not sure what the answer is here. Perhaps it is better to remove it. I’m just saying that from personal experience removing the hair isn’t a magic confidence fix once you’ve already been picked on for it.

This and 100% this and it needs to be done across the school. Having said that I don’t shave and my daughter didn’t but was in a school production okay aged 17 all dancing and singing in lovely gowns and she came home and said she wanted to shave as she was the only one with armpit hair etc and I simply got her a decent electric razor and said your body your decision. She shaves now in the summer etc so I absolutely would empower her to stand up for herself and that means support from the teacher first and then support. Some children are brutal though and stereotypes and bullying gets passed through generations.

I was also teased for having hairy legs but seven is wa too young! Maybe in year 6, when she’s 11/12. But as PP have said, I would show her the many examples of young women who rock natural armpit and leg hair.

I said something similar at the start of this thread and some posters were very keen to say that they were hairy and promoting resilience. There's different levels of hairy isn't there?

I wouldn't yet as it's once again a woman/girl having to change their behaviour/looks to suit a man/boy. And I agree with the pp that said that the boy then swaps to teasing you about something else.

I'd be taking it up with the school and expecting robust action.

I hated having to shave mine and only started when I was 17 - because a boy teased me about them. But I shaved under my arms from the moment a hair appeared because I hated hair there. But that was my choice.

Can you use an electric shaver to reduce the chance of cutting her? DP was shaving my legs for me the other day and he nicked me slightly so I pulled away and gashed a huge cut up my leg (don't tell him I admit to moving though). Reduced chance of skin initiation and razor rash too.

As far as the whole "women shouldn't have to shave" "she shouldn't shave becuase of what one boy said" it isn't about everybody else. It's up to her what makes her feel comfortable in her body. Can you get gentle hair lightening cream? If its just the darkness that's the issue?

Its a tough one. Part of me thinks oh hell no 7 is way too little. Then the other part of me remembers Sarah.

Sarah was a girl at my school who got bullied relentlessly for this exact thing. We were friends from nursery and I particularly remember a birthday party at about 8 or 9. We all had pretty dresses on and one of the boys laughed at her and said oh its a hairy boy in a dress. It was awful and absolutely crushed her.

I remember when she finally started shaving at about 11/ 12 she said it changed her whole life. She became much more confident. She often says she wishes her mum would have done it sooner (she asked, she said no)

You can tell your child these children are just being unkind, you can tell the teachers to have a word but it may do nothing.

Im on the fence! Im staying here but just wanted to share that story. Sarah is a good friend still and doing absolutely brilliantly in life and oozes confidence so thankfully it didnt totally stay with her.

Another adult here who, as a child, was picked on for this!

Yep - help her out... Maybe don't shave them, could you use hair removal cream instead?

My feelings are she'd be more psychologically impacted if nothing was done

P.S - she'll be so chuffed about her beautiful olive complexion and dark hair as she ages so remind her of the positives if she's feeling a bit low. Children can be so mean.