AIBU to think everyone has become boring?

Exactly. And I'm not sure it is introvert/extrovert because I didn't mind a few wild nights out in my youth!

It's more, as you say, your tastes change as you evolve. Lots of that sort of behaviour - drinking and dancing etc - is, if you think about it from a biological point of view, quite useful in getting yourself impregnated, which I think the body vaguely and subliminally recognises.

When it has satisfied that urge, I think it's normal to move on to feeding your intellectual life - I;d come to the theatre with you! Not boring at all.

I do know what you mean OP. I turned 50 last summer & my local group of friends of a similar age never seem to want to meet up anymore or i have to arrange everything & nag people . We all have one kid the same age/school year though parents vary a bit in ages. I think covid lockdowns changed some people and made them want to stay home more. I know loads more women friends who have cut back or totally given up alcohol as they go through Peri M as it keeps them awake or gives them awful hangovers. Obviously money is a bit tighter for a lot of people too. My kids are 18 & 21 though so I'm ready to PARTY (but in bed by 12 with no hangover type of thing 🤭). I want to try more fun things though and have fun/giggles with friends but lots of friends are too busy with stressful careers and younger kids etc. I'm joining new classes on my own (dance exercise classes) & considering joining local social Facebook meet-up groups to find friends who actually want to meet up & do things. Life is short and the news is full of depressing crap. I want to enjoy my next 20-30 years.

Have you actually asked these friends if they want to go to a gig or boat trip?

It’s been so long since I went to a club I don’t think I’d even know how to dance, 🫣 I feel my feet would be rooted to the floor.😁 Are these clubs full of 20 somethings or are they for older people. Youngsters didn’t like older people in their ‘disco’ back in my day (peak disco era, 1970s).

One of the perks of getting older for me was thinking, thank fuck I don’t have to go clubbing anymore 😂

Yes I could probably manage that. I was more replying to the people who are going all out for "pickled livers" and "going batshit" and the like.

It's not a "box" I put myself in because I am a parent; it's just that batshit no longer really appeals to me and sounds both uncomfortable and exhausting.

I can manage to get myself to a lovely meal out, which usually involves a glass of wine or two. That sort of night out still appeals, but the bar cruising less so ...

I think it’s not so much your personality changing but your wants and needs. I had my kids later so I had already done whatever it was I wanted to do so I never had fomo or discontentment. Some people love clubbing, some people hate it, regardless of age. I don’t really drink either (one glass sends me to sleep) but I don’t think I’m a boring friend. I would go out to the theatre and I would really love to see BTS in concert even as an older person, but the idea of going to a club or getting drunk wouldn’t interest me at all. Could be an extrovert/introvert thing maybe.

I have a friend like you op I could match you up (she is also looking for a man)

Most of our friends have no interest in going out drinking and dancing (unless for myself its a family party) done that been there had great times but have no desire to repeat them

what's boring to one is comfortable and a happy place for another

you need more friends

I fucking HATE people that think that if you don’t drink alcohol you’re boring.

Thankfully, most people can take or leave booze on a night out and still be decent company, but some people are boring without booze.

We have a friend who went to AA and stopped drinking for 3 months. Something we all praised him for as he was a big drinker. But, by god, he was so bloody boring sober. As I says, he lasted 3 months and is now back on the booze. But our nights with him are less tortuous.

I fucking HATE people that think that if you don’t drink alcohol you’re boring.

Ironic really, seeing as you’re the one that thinks alcohol = having a good time/being fun.

I’m 46 and I’ve always been like you Op but the last couple of years I just cba. I hate being around drunken idiots. I still like a drink myself but would rather go out early & be home early or have drinks & a laugh my friends house. I’ve been surprised by this change in myself but also not unhappy about it.

Im in my mid 30’s and boring now and I love it. I spent my 20’s living abroad, drinking and partying. I’m now over 2 years sober, spend my days at the park and soft play and exercising, and barely been out past 8 pm for years haha. I’m hoping I’ll get a second wind in my 50’s once kids are older maybe!

Maybe they just hold their drink better than you?

I certainly do now I’m in my 50s. I know my own system, and what paving, water, food etc will give me the right level of fun buzz and no hangover.

Some of us have over 16s so parenting requirements on Sundays are pretty limited. Not that I get particularly drunk on a night out but like a dance occasionally. Outrageous to some it seems!

I’m surprised that they would want to parent whilst recovering from that kind of night out.

Each to their own though.

You don’t. I’m just surprised!

I couldn’t think of anything worse. It would take me a week or more to recover now that I’m in my 40s.

i think there is a few splits. My friends were all goths/rockers so we hung around in live music venues/pubs with bands on and late licences... where my friends that were more preppy/dance music fans were in the dance clubs with sticky floors and lecherous gropey pissed up lads.

The latter never appealled... but i was out just as late dancing, but to live music in a crowded pub.

Then there is the parenting split. There's those of us who had kids in our 20s who're now in our 40s with late teens/young adult children who have our weekends back to spend socialising, and those still in the trenches of parenting children under 10 because they didn't start families until their mid to late 30s.

I do think the stuff shirt 'i'm going to sit here in my two piece suit sipping tea from china in my salon with my ladies' who think wanting to go to the pub/have a drink/have a laugh with their friends is juvenile need to rediscover their sense of fun and humour, but MN has always had it's fair share of stuck up fun sponges who forgot how to laugh.

We have a big group of friends from our school years and twenties and we have parties still that definitely have alcohol but some don't drink, it's more about the food as well. All these men/women also run regularly, yoga, Pilates etc. I don't fin they're mutually exclusive. We are early to mid forties but I can't imagine it changing in fact going on a stag/hen dos abroad this year but for the men in particular this will largely be about good food as well as beer. I find the move is towards good food as well as good drinks!

I’m another decade and a bit older than you, and I’ve found that I went through a phase when there was just too much responsibility to allow for late nights and too much alcohol. Gone through that now and the late nights aren’t a problem, but my body’s ability to handle alcohol gets worse with every year - and honestly it’s gutting! The only good thing with this is I can get pissed on half a lager - so nights out are very cheap for me. Unless I go down the mocktail route.

Heaven forbid a parent might want to do that! 😂

You’re basically asking if people are boring if they don’t drink. I haven’t been a drinker since my late teens, so the basic premise of your question would include me in the boring category then.

For that reason, I’ve voted you’re being unreasonable.

I guess you could think about it from the viewpoint that maybe some of your friends would really want to drink, but have found they react to it much more extremely now. Same kind of thing with caffeine - it was a huge pleasure for me, but I guess I have had too much of a good thing because it is really beginning to disagree with me however I try to sneak it in.

So not that your friends are actually happy to be virtuous, and it's the deterrent factor in their bodies/health that they didn't see coming, which might put a disappointing or inhibiting spin on 'nights out' for them. I also agree with the time you have for doing anything being quite limited in your 40s (apparently the 50s look better) and the attempts to make plans with several people being very hard to pull together, with a lot of cancellations. To be able to talk consistently interestingly, it does help to have a couple of regular activities just to develop yourself, I think - and although I've started these a time or 2, less interesting but important priorities have got on top of them.

“I’m not binning them or anything…”

Yet in your first post you said “I've started binning them off and going out with work friends instead…”