Why do people feel ok to extend their stay / outstay their welcome? And how to handle it .

Just stop inviting them. Or if they invite themselves say you're busy. Or say you're redecorating and they'll need to book a hotel.

No being breathtakingly rude is not waiting for an invite or not fitting in with your hosts plans.

Some of the suggestions here sound great in theory, but in reality would come across as breathtakingly rude, especially to close family members.

It’s hard to see what heinous crime your guests have committed other than assuming that “coming for the weekend” meant two nights rather than one? I get it - I find it hard to relax with visitors in the house - but I still couldn’t bring myself to treat any close family member or friend in the way that’s being suggested here.

Oh this has hit a nerve for me ; we had this , was very clear ; you need to leave by x time as need to bath kids for school next day etc … 1 am they are still here . I was furious, our kids are SEN so routine is key, and they didn’t sleep all night either .
we are now zero contact; it didn’t matter how direct I was , they just didn’t listen.

Oh goodness OP. That makes me glad I rarely agree to host overnight guests.
I would say “ happy to see you on Friday 8pm..etc etc…we have the cleaner/skip//decorators/handyman coming Monday morning so need you to be gone Sun night so we can empty the room.

It would drive me absolutely nuts if anyone did this. Who does this? You haven’t said how they are related but I would be putting my foot down

When they say they won't bother you just be honest and say "yeah I know but it is nice to get back to normal; just us!"

OP has already indicated they work (but can work remotely)

They are absolutely CFers and they know that you won’t be blunt enough to force them out. You are going to have to be really blunt about it (to the point it feels a bit rude). As a PP suggests - you might need to go as far as “it’s been lovely to see you but we need the house back to ourselves now” as they aren’t getting the hint. Either that or they just don’t come anymore!

Never apologise, never explain. Pretend you're a restaurant taking a booking, and one of those restaurants which tell you how long you have the table for. (Personally I don't like that type of in/out restaurant but at least there's clarity.

No need to give reasons - fictional or real - for giving an end date

Can't you just be blunt with them and say if they keep overstaying their welcome then they don't get to come back.?

The penultimate paragraph of that message is a bit waffly- still don’t quite get when the in laws are supposed to go. I'd just say you'll need to set off by [5pm] latest as we've commitments from 5pm onwards

Or - open your mouth and speak?

Sounds like hell

Next time just say no

This is so true. Weekends comprise of Saturdays and Sundays. All the other days are weekdays. Except when it comes to step children, but that’s a whole different thread!

You’d vacate your own home and spend money on a hotel rather than just…. Woman up or if you couldn’t face that… get you DH to man up?

this is all so alien to me. Someone basically forcing themselves on my home

Me too and I'd take myself off to a nice hotel and switch my phone off.

You need to practice:

"Sorry that doesn't work for us"

"We want the house back to ourselves"

"The invite was until lunch"

"I don't have anything in for lunch, there's a lovely cafe around the corner you could go to on your way home"

"Sorry, you said you were only staying until this evening, so all the good in the fridge is already allocated"

"I'm meal planning more due to the cost of living so if you need food before you go home you'll need to sort that out yourself".

Do it a few times and they'll stop pushing.

This is so clearly your DH’s family or friends

So ask him to be explicitly with them.

It is not hard

Or tell them that it is an Airbnb and it’s already booked

That's the plan next time

The problem is that you keep giving reasons which they ignore or offer to solve.

The trick is to get the agreement up front and then when they try to push, you say no it doesn't work for me. And then this is the crucial bit, when they ask why you still don't give a concrete reason.

"No, we need to stick to the agreement."
"No, that doesn't work for me. We agreed Monday after lunch."

And repeat.

Then if they don't shift, get up and say "right I'll help you load up the car"

The root of this problem is that you struggle to deal with the discomfort of challenging people. First time will be hard but I promise it gets easier.

They're being very rude.
Just say no, sorry that doesn't work for me.

I think you should start saying no. It's one thing if they made your life easier or even listened. Why do they visit so often, then?

Or - there's a nice Pret at the X services station; the cafe / pub down the road does a nice brunch.

OP -
I'd prefer not if you don't mind, I need to work and I can't concentrate with guests in the house.
"No I'm sorry, we agreed Sat-Sun"
"No I'm sorry, we agreed Sat-Sun and with respect, I'd like to sort out the spare room after you leave, sit down on Sunday night and reset ahead of a busy week"
"virgin / X broadband is down for maintenance on Monday starting at 2am, We had a note, its here somewhere"

After they leave. Here's a link to a local AirBnB for next time if you want to stay for longer periods. I'm sorry but we have to draw a line somewhere or we would have endless houseguests that we can't afford to host and no time to ourselves.

If you don't have children and plan to, you need to sort this now or they will move in when a baby arrives. Or move.