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Original poster

Don't Want to use Voucher on 2nd Friend

156 replies

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 11:46

I know this sounds petty but I can't help how I feel.

I have a voucher for a really nice restaurant. I asked a good friend of mine to go to this restaurant tomorrow and mentioned i had a voucher we could use. She said great.

She has since messaged me to say she has invited another friend.

I have noticed in the past that when the 3 of us are together that I can be sidelined and ignored. I dont think its intentional but i decided I would stay away from get-togethers with the 3 of us.

This is the petty part. I didnt mind using the voucher on the first friend as she is a good friend. The second lady she invited has been stingy with me in the past and is self absorbed. I dont want to use my voucher on her. Not because of the cash but on principle.

They now know I have this voucher...but I never offered to use it on 2nd friend. How do I get out of this without making things awkward? I can't leave the 3rd lady out but I equally dont want to use it on her.

OP posts:
MangoesIntoAPube · 16/03/2026 12:26

Very rude to invite a third person without running it by you first. This seems the bigger issue than who benefits from the voucher. You don't want to go so cancel.

Pipsquiggle · 16/03/2026 12:25

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 11:53

Does this come off as rude...I could say...The voucher won't stretch for the 3 of us so I will use it with you another time?

I think she thinks I adore 2nd friend...I do like her but she is self absorbed and has been unappreciative in the past.

This is fine.

Definitely don't use this type of voucher with someone you don't really like

Patchworkquilts · 16/03/2026 12:20

What’s so difficult with being clear?
This isn’t about you not wanting to spend the voucher on the 3rd person, it’s about you feeling excluded when the 3 of you meet AND it’s extremely rude of your friend to invite someone else along.

So you say:
”I invited you, I didn’t invite Ann. This was an invitation to share my voucher with YOU, not you and whoever else you feel like inviting along. I’m actually hurt that you didn’t discuss this with me first. This won’t work for me”.

Pinkgin00 · 16/03/2026 12:19

I think you need to be honest and say the gift voucher won't stretch for the three of you, and that's why you only invited her. Then suggest rearranging for the 2 of you, or go ahead with the three of you, but you will be saving the voucher for another time. (That's if you want to go twice)

Everybodys · 16/03/2026 12:19

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 11:53

Does this come off as rude...I could say...The voucher won't stretch for the 3 of us so I will use it with you another time?

I think she thinks I adore 2nd friend...I do like her but she is self absorbed and has been unappreciative in the past.

No, I think that's fine.

Itsafactitsactual · 16/03/2026 12:14

BunnyFrock · 16/03/2026 11:54

Forget to bring it. If first friend thinks you might have forgotten it on purpose then she's got the message.

brilliant solution. if other person shows up just pretend you forgot the voucher, if she doesn't show up you can use it.

MadisonMontgomery · 16/03/2026 12:13

I think you need to be honest and just say you’d been looking forward to spending time with her (friend 1) so you’d prefer to rearrange.

Whyherewego · 16/03/2026 12:13

Just don't offer or use the voucher. That is the simplest. If you really want then text your pal and say "thanks for letting me know. Ps the voucher won't stretch to 3 so will save for another time. See you soon"

WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 16/03/2026 12:12

I would just either say “I will save the voucher for another day as it won’t stretch to three people.” Or just cancel, and cancel everytime she invites this other friend you don’t like.

NiftyJadeSheep · 16/03/2026 12:10

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 12:07

A proper voucher, as in a free meal/drinks voucher gifted to me and paid by a relative.

I dont think she was thinking straight when she invited her as she probably doesn't know how I feel deep down about the dynamic.

Show quote history

Yeah ok, so no that’s not ok 😂 you were doing your friend a kind favour and using the voucher to pay for her.

Maybe if you do go , just use the voucher for you. I think I’d be tempted to pull out if I’m honest.

rainbowstardrops · 16/03/2026 12:08

How rude to invite the other friend without even asking you!
I wouldn’t pretend I was ill on the day but I would say as there’s going to be three of you now, you won’t be using your voucher. Cheeky mare!

Original poster
BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 12:07

NiftyJadeSheep · 16/03/2026 12:04

Is it a gift voucher? That’s quite cheeky inviting someone else if it is! As it’s spending your money? And could require you to then pay if the voucher doesn’t cover everything.

Or is it a discount voucher?

A proper voucher, as in a free meal/drinks voucher gifted to me and paid by a relative.

I dont think she was thinking straight when she invited her as she probably doesn't know how I feel deep down about the dynamic.

OP posts:
ChangeAgainAgainAgain · 16/03/2026 12:05

What kind of voucher is it? 25% off, where the number eating won't be affected, or £50, where the more people who eat, the less discount per person? That would make a difference to how I felt.

NiftyJadeSheep · 16/03/2026 12:04

Is it a gift voucher? That’s quite cheeky inviting someone else if it is! As it’s spending your money? And could require you to then pay if the voucher doesn’t cover everything.

Or is it a discount voucher?

outerspacepotato · 16/03/2026 12:01

Bite the bullet and tell her you won't be using the voucher on the other person she's invited. Reschedule or find another friend to take.

That was pretty rude.

BunnyFrock · 16/03/2026 11:58

It would irk me too

Lurkingandlearning · 16/03/2026 11:58

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 11:53

Does this come off as rude...I could say...The voucher won't stretch for the 3 of us so I will use it with you another time?

I think she thinks I adore 2nd friend...I do like her but she is self absorbed and has been unappreciative in the past.

That is fine. It may even make her realise that she shouldn’t really invite other people along without checking with you first

nomas · 16/03/2026 11:58

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 11:53

Does this come off as rude...I could say...The voucher won't stretch for the 3 of us so I will use it with you another time?

I think she thinks I adore 2nd friend...I do like her but she is self absorbed and has been unappreciative in the past.

Save the voucher and use it with someone else.

Tell your friend that the voucher has expired.

Original poster
BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 11:58

I dont know if it properly registered with her that I had the voucher. We were set to meet anyway...and then I mentioned the voucher. I think Ill just use the voucher myself another day.
I dont think she was thinking straight when she invited her but it irked me.

OP posts:
BunnyFrock · 16/03/2026 11:56

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 11:53

Does this come off as rude...I could say...The voucher won't stretch for the 3 of us so I will use it with you another time?

I think she thinks I adore 2nd friend...I do like her but she is self absorbed and has been unappreciative in the past.

It's not rude and it hopefully conveys a message

DoctorMarten · 16/03/2026 11:56

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 11:53

Does this come off as rude...I could say...The voucher won't stretch for the 3 of us so I will use it with you another time?

I think she thinks I adore 2nd friend...I do like her but she is self absorbed and has been unappreciative in the past.

Yeah this is honest and I don’t see how she would have a problem with it

Cocktailsandcoffee · 16/03/2026 11:55

I think I’d have to be honest and just say ‘ah I was hoping to just catch up with you, let’s do it another time’ then if she asked id have to be honest about the reasons why.

I do think it’s rude to invite others without consultation, especially if she’s planning to spend your voucher!

EvangelineTheNightStar · 16/03/2026 11:55

How rude of initial friend! Basically inviting her friend along due to your voucher! I’d cancel and take someone else

BunnyFrock · 16/03/2026 11:54

Forget to bring it. If first friend thinks you might have forgotten it on purpose then she's got the message.

MrsBeesBakedBeans · 16/03/2026 11:53

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 11:50

I could do that but she never confirmed whether or not the other lady was coming...only that she invited her...arrrgh!

Show quote history

Just ask your friend straight. And if she doesn't know how you feel, which I suspect she doesn't, I'd say "it'll be good to meet up, looking forward to seeing (other woman) too". Cue illness on day of.