Don't Want to use Voucher on 2nd Friend

Nothing petty about this @BoundaryGirl3939 Your friend has a real cheek inviting someone else along when there was only going to be you and her. I HATE it when a third person comes along (invited by the person you were seeing.) I don't generally feel sidelined or left out, but I do feel it changes the dynamic, and it pisses me off. On the occasions this happenes now, I do tend to cancel at the last minute!

Just cancel!

Well done OP. Even though no 3 can't make it this time it's good to introduceyour friend to the idea that 3 is sometimes a crowd.

Well done Op, that's sorted then.
During the meal you need ask your friend know that you really don't gel with X and enjoy it much more when there are just the two of you. Tell her that you don't really want to go out with X again. After that it would clearly be rude of her to invite the woman in this way again.

Good result. It’s good you took a stand.

For future occasions, tell your friend that you feel excluded when it’s you and her friend together and that it’s not enjoyable for you.

If she doesn’t address it, then vote with your feet and don’t attend when it’s the two of them, decline every time.

I think it might be an idea to bring it up at your get-together, OP. Maybe something along the lines of 'I'd really prefer it if you would ask me before inviting Sue to our meet ups. I don't dislike her, but it changes the vibe when she joins us.'

I'd do this too.

Sorry but this is ridiculous. If a friend invites you for dinner, they are just inviting you.

You do not invite someone else without asking your friend if it’s ok first.

This is basic etiquette.

“Oh, I didn’t realise you were planning to see Sarah that night. You two go ahead, and I’ll catch up with you another time”.

All's well that ends well.

Cancel and don't take either of them. How dare the first friend invite the second without asking you? I hate people like that.

Get there.
'oh no I left the voucher at home. Nevermind we're here now so let have a lovely time and then there's an excuse to come back!'
Then it's before they order so you aren't dropping them in it and you don't have to pay. You could even add 'i don't mind if we just have pudding if it's too much of a stretch but I'm afraid I don't have time to go back and get it'
(Leave your phone at home if it's digital)

I wouldn't pretend to forget it because they can probably look it up by who bought it and get around it that way.

I might say -‘ I’m not going to use the voucher this time as it won’t cover (thirdperson) and I don’t want any awkwardness so we can go somewhere different if you prefer. ‘

It makes it quite clear that inviting the third person changes the circumstances for using voucher and your friend will realise she’s shot herself in the foot for inviting the 3rd person.

I think it’s a good opportunity to subtly tell your friend that you’re not overly keen on other person. “I will save my voucher for another time as I wanted it to be our treat and it won’t stretch to three.” I certainly wouldn’t be subsidising someone you don’t like and if friend comes back and suggests you can split between the three of you I would keep saying you would rather just the two of you use the voucher.

I think this is much more about the voucher to you than it is to her. The meet up was organised pre voucher being mentioned. If you have never let on that you don’t like the other person’s company, and haven’t specifically said you’d like to see her 1-1, she’s done nothing wrong by inviting her and I’m sure neither of them expects her to use your voucher! It seems like you have got fixated on the voucher because you want a reason to say you’d rather the other person doesn’t come.

The other person is the least in the wrong here. She’s been invited and may accept. She’s not found out about this wonderful voucher and decided to try to con her way into it.

You can’t blame your friend for you failing to have ever told her that you don’t actually like this other friend…

Say you will user the voucher with her another time as it won’t cover three people. But it does defeat the point of going because you wanted to use the voucher for this meal, and you wanted to see her not this extra friend. So you will be paying for an experience you don’t really want. I think cancelling every time this friend comes along will become obvious and you’ll be seen as flaky. So I would go to this meal and at some point before or after message “shall we get something in the diary for just us two?” And then she won’t invite other people and will perhaps get the hint

Problem is this doesn’t address the fact you don’t want to socialise with the two of them. Personally I wouldn’t lie or fake excuses; ‘The voucher won’t stretch to three so if x is coming you two go ahead and we can book for a different date (then suggest some)

Good point.

I have a question. If someone is truly a friend, why can’t we be honest?

id never fake illness with someone who I consider a friend, this is reserved for horrible bosses and casual dates I never want to see again.

friendship, to me, equals the ability to be your true self. This includes saying ‘I’m sorry but I find Carol annoying for xyz reasons, can’t it just be the 2 of us?’ Or even ‘I wanted to talk to you about something privately’

Maybe 3rd person pushed in on hearing kf the voucher and 2nd person couldnt refuse ....opportunist.
Oh silly me I forgot the voucher

Save the voucher (as long as it doesn't expire) and tell your friend that you only want to spend time with her not the other friend. She really should not just invited her along.

Time to tell her. Cancel the dinner and tell her you're not keen on socialising with other woman. Suggest you reschedule for another time.

That is an elegant way of phrasing it, and not at all rude. Your good friend was the rude one for inviting someone else to come and have a meal subsidised by you - she should not have done that!

You said the original invitee is a good friend. What you said here is a perfectly fine - simple, clear and non-aggressive - thing to say to her :

I have noticed in the past that when the 3 of us are together that I can be sidelined and ignored. I dont think its intentional but i decided I would stay away from get-togethers with the 3 of us.