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Original poster

Don't Want to use Voucher on 2nd Friend

156 replies

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 11:46

I know this sounds petty but I can't help how I feel.

I have a voucher for a really nice restaurant. I asked a good friend of mine to go to this restaurant tomorrow and mentioned i had a voucher we could use. She said great.

She has since messaged me to say she has invited another friend.

I have noticed in the past that when the 3 of us are together that I can be sidelined and ignored. I dont think its intentional but i decided I would stay away from get-togethers with the 3 of us.

This is the petty part. I didnt mind using the voucher on the first friend as she is a good friend. The second lady she invited has been stingy with me in the past and is self absorbed. I dont want to use my voucher on her. Not because of the cash but on principle.

They now know I have this voucher...but I never offered to use it on 2nd friend. How do I get out of this without making things awkward? I can't leave the 3rd lady out but I equally dont want to use it on her.

OP posts:
Wingingit73 · 17/03/2026 17:31

Cancel. Take someone else.

deeahgwitch · 17/03/2026 17:06

That’s great that it has worked out @BoundaryGirl3939
Finger crossed the other woman doesn’t change her mind and decide to go after all.

researchers3 · 17/03/2026 17:04

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 12:07

A proper voucher, as in a free meal/drinks voucher gifted to me and paid by a relative.

I dont think she was thinking straight when she invited her as she probably doesn't know how I feel deep down about the dynamic.

Show quote history

Either way it's pretty rude. I'd just cancel, very minimal response and trust she'll get the message.

Imbusytodaysorry · 17/03/2026 16:47

@BoundaryGirl3939 just reply and say “aa ok sure , i Will save the vouch for a later date when you and I go out together next “

SpryLilacSnake · 17/03/2026 16:42

I'm glad it's all worked out but just for some balance, I don't think it's that unlikely that the friend assumed it was a discount voucher and, because it was all arranged before she knew of the voucher, that she was happy to go with or without it.

I wouldn't invite a friend to a meetup with another friend without checking first in almost all occasions BUT there are a couple of friendship groups where we are a very firmly established 3 where it would feel really weird to meet up as just 2 of us if the 3rd wasn't invited so maybe this needs a polite chat with your friend about how you like meeting up with just her sometimes.

MyDeftDuck · 17/03/2026 16:40

Go along to the restaurant……..but ‘forget’ to take the voucher with you!

Noodles1234 · 17/03/2026 16:40

Firstly, it was rude of your friend to invite another when it was your original suggestion.

I don’t blame you for wanting to hold onto your voucher, either

  1. feign illness
  2. say my voucher won’t stretch to 3, I will leave it for another time.
PixelatedLunchbox · 17/03/2026 16:29

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 11:50

I could do that but she never confirmed whether or not the other lady was coming...only that she invited her...arrrgh!

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How rude of her to invite someone else without discussion.

tachetastic · 17/03/2026 15:58

I would say something like "sure, though I was only planning on using my voucher to treat us, so now X is coming I'll save the voucher for another time".

If your friend thinks that inviting third wheel means she misses out on a cheap meal you may find that that she comes up with her own excuse to uninvite them.

Jellybelly80 · 17/03/2026 15:52

op, you are continually making excuses for your friends behaviour and if now isn’t the time to tell her how you feel even about the other person this situation is never going to get better.

Just tell her and if it means the end of your friendship then so be it because it doesn’t seem to be on very solid ground as it is.

Sorry just saw your update.

WearyAuldWumman · 17/03/2026 15:47

Hi, @RaniIris .

I'd recommend copying and pasting this into a new thread in the Relationships board. You're more likely to get helpful responses there.

Queenofheart · 17/03/2026 15:47

getsomehelp · 16/03/2026 11:53

I would say, “I offered to share my voucher with you, not Doreen, this isnt going to work”

100% this

RaniIris · 17/03/2026 15:45

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn by MNHQ

MercurialMouse · 17/03/2026 15:24

I've seen your update so glad it worked out, but seriously, I hate it when people invite extra people without checking with the organiser first, it's so rude.

ThisSunnyBee · 17/03/2026 15:20

Duvetdayneeded · 16/03/2026 11:48

Sudden last minute illness?

Only if your communication skills aren't fully developed

somanythingssolittletime · 17/03/2026 15:17

“Great that you invited her, but I was planning on using my voucher for me and you. Will she be ok covering her part?”

daleylama · 16/03/2026 18:25

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 11:46

I know this sounds petty but I can't help how I feel.

I have a voucher for a really nice restaurant. I asked a good friend of mine to go to this restaurant tomorrow and mentioned i had a voucher we could use. She said great.

She has since messaged me to say she has invited another friend.

I have noticed in the past that when the 3 of us are together that I can be sidelined and ignored. I dont think its intentional but i decided I would stay away from get-togethers with the 3 of us.

This is the petty part. I didnt mind using the voucher on the first friend as she is a good friend. The second lady she invited has been stingy with me in the past and is self absorbed. I dont want to use my voucher on her. Not because of the cash but on principle.

They now know I have this voucher...but I never offered to use it on 2nd friend. How do I get out of this without making things awkward? I can't leave the 3rd lady out but I equally dont want to use it on her.

I'd go but 'forget' to take the voucher - have a 3 way split bill and use your voucher another time ( and with someone else!)

tequilam0ckingbird · 16/03/2026 16:44

EvangelineTheNightStar · 16/03/2026 11:55

How rude of initial friend! Basically inviting her friend along due to your voucher! I’d cancel and take someone else

totally agree with this!

Shatteredallthetimelately · 16/03/2026 16:42

Itsafactitsactual · 16/03/2026 12:14

brilliant solution. if other person shows up just pretend you forgot the voucher, if she doesn't show up you can use it.

Show quote history

This is exactly what I'd do to..

Nothing wrong in it.
If the other friend does turn up don't even consider using the voucher just pay for your own food and use the voucher another time.

Hellohelga · 16/03/2026 16:21

Cancel and go with someone else.

WimbyAce · 16/03/2026 16:18

She is at fault for inviting the other friend. You need to somehow cancel and rearrange just for the 2 of you.

PensionMention · 16/03/2026 16:09

I wouldn't class your friend as a good friend at all, you don’t do that you have a discussion. Not just invite, I would have said something long ago.

whackwhackoops · 16/03/2026 16:07

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 13:19

I messaged to say that voucher wouldn't cover the 3 of us, and we'd use it another day. She then said that other lady can't make it. So its all good.

I think it boils down to disapointment I feel in the moment when being excluded...although I think they're oblivious to how I feel. And I was looking forward to a catch up with friend 1, and not feeling like a spare wheel.

Thank you for advice. I'm glad I took a stand in my own way. I'm looking forward to the get together now.

If the other friend miraculously can make it on the day - leave the voucher at home 'accidentally on purpose' or just say you have forgotten it even if its in your bag 😉

everybodyscreeaamm · 16/03/2026 16:05

TFImBackIn · 16/03/2026 12:52

I've been blunt with a friend in a similar situation (without the voucher though). She said she'd ask her other friend to join us and I just said, "I'll drop out then if she's coming. I've noticed she always cuts me out of the conversation so there's no point in my being there." My friend did say, "That's a bit blunt!" and I just shrugged and said, "It's the way it is." We now meet up on our own or with other friends regularly, but not with the other friend.

I think it's amazing you said that ... to get to that point means it really, really needed to be said.

PinkyFlamingo · 16/03/2026 15:53

BoundaryGirl3939 · 16/03/2026 13:19

I messaged to say that voucher wouldn't cover the 3 of us, and we'd use it another day. She then said that other lady can't make it. So its all good.

I think it boils down to disapointment I feel in the moment when being excluded...although I think they're oblivious to how I feel. And I was looking forward to a catch up with friend 1, and not feeling like a spare wheel.

Thank you for advice. I'm glad I took a stand in my own way. I'm looking forward to the get together now.

You need to be honest though with her, it's not really acceptable she invited someone else along without saying anything to you first!

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