Page 6 | Is this what I asked for??

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 2026-03-15T23:40:34+00:00

Ok, so it actually *is* what I asked for, but bloody hell, use your common sense! My child (7) decided he'd rather spend the day with my parents than me, fine. No problem with this, he probably spends 40% of his time there anyway, they have very few rules/boundaries, can't blame him. So, knowing this, all I asked for for Mother's Day was a child-free day. Not a cleaning-free day, not a cooking-free day, just a day without children, just us. And yet, up he rocked, with his son (17!!), to play his PlayStation (in our bedroom). If I'm not spending Mother's Day with my own child, I sure as hell don't want to spend it with an almost-adult. Just one day. That's all I asked for. And now, because I mumbled something to myself (and he overheard), he's packed up and fucked off. Give me all you've got, I've got my big girl pants on.

Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:33

KeeleyJ · 16/03/2026 00:31

Maybe the 17 year olds Mother wanted a child free day?

Then she would need to speak to the other three men involved to arrange this. Except that she's decided that two of those are too irresponsible to raise a child. Weird that...

OP posts:

Legssses · 16/03/2026 00:32

OP maybe try planning some nice things to do together with your son. It's great that you have boundaries, but you could have said "let's have a nice day together and go to the zoo/park/swimming/movies.

7 year olds shouldn't be calling the shots on where they get to go. Mine would spend 90% of his time in the sweet shop if I offered it as a viable option.

KeeleyJ · 16/03/2026 00:31

Maybe the 17 year olds Mother wanted a child free day?

DairyMilkFreeZone · 16/03/2026 00:30

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:27

I don't "send" my son any where; he chooses to go there, where my lovely dad also is.

Unfortunately, my lovely dad is also soft as shit.

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But he's 7. You need to smoke the adult calls for him.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/03/2026 00:28

So it’s Mother’s Day, and your one child, who you have less than 50% off the time decided they didn’t want to spend it with you… and your annoyed you did get this ‘child free’ day. YABU

Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:27

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/03/2026 00:19

You sent your son to a “nasty vindictive woman” for Mother’s Day? And this nasty vindictive woman looks after your son for you whilst your work?

None of this makes sense to me!

I don’t think your partner bringing his son round to sit in your bedroom is really on - why couldn’t they sit in the living room?

But I think as far as your partner was concerned you were having a child free day. You weren’t having to look after the 17 yo at all presumably - they’re 17! If you’d wanted to do something together, couldn’t you have told him that?

I don't "send" my son any where; he chooses to go there, where my lovely dad also is.

Unfortunately, my lovely dad is also soft as shit.

OP posts:

UpTheWomen · 16/03/2026 00:25

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:12

I am NC with my "mother". She is a nasty, vindictive woman, but absolutely dotes on my son. Until this negatively affects him, I will not stop him seeing her.

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Why are you giving her the satisfaction of knowing your small boy would rather spend Mothering Sunday with her than with his own mother? He’s seven, he does what you tell him. There’s clearly a lot more behind all this than your OP indicated. Your poor opinion of your mother is clear, yet you allow your son to go there whenever he chooses. And your partner doesn’t have much respect for you if he brings his own son to your home on Mother’s Day rather than realising you might be struggling with not having your own child there. It sounds like you’re feeling defeated and have given up any agency over your own life. I think you need to stand up to your partner, who behaved like a dick today (and likely more of the time) and your mother, and work on the most important relationship in your life, with your small child, who will be damaged by all the negativity in his life and needs to know his mum will fight fiercely to protect him.

ImFinePMSL · 16/03/2026 00:25

MrsJeanLuc · 16/03/2026 00:19

You really don't understand? REALLY???

She's looking forward to spending some time with her partner only to find he'd rather ignore her and play computer games with his son.

Of COURSE she's pissed off!

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Yes really 🤣

He wanted to spend time with his son. That’s not odd for a father to want to do in his own home is it?

She speaks in a vile way about her partner’s ex anyway so the relationship seems a bit dead in the water to me.

Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:20

YourShyLion · 16/03/2026 00:12

That is so sad OP. It is possible to put boundaries in place and have a wonderful time together. You're his mum, nothing is going to change that so try and get things back on track.

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Unfortunately not. When asked what he wants to do, it never includes me. And when he is "forced" to spend time with me, he finds fault with it. But I digress, this is another issue.

OP posts:

MrsJeanLuc · 16/03/2026 00:19

ImFinePMSL · 15/03/2026 23:49

So your 7 year old isn’t your partners son, im assuming?

I really don’t understand what you were annoyed about. Could you not have had a chilled day on the sofa whilst your partner and his son gamed upstairs?

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You really don't understand? REALLY???

She's looking forward to spending some time with her partner only to find he'd rather ignore her and play computer games with his son.

Of COURSE she's pissed off!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/03/2026 00:19

You sent your son to a “nasty vindictive woman” for Mother’s Day? And this nasty vindictive woman looks after your son for you whilst your work?

None of this makes sense to me!

I don’t think your partner bringing his son round to sit in your bedroom is really on - why couldn’t they sit in the living room?

But I think as far as your partner was concerned you were having a child free day. You weren’t having to look after the 17 yo at all presumably - they’re 17! If you’d wanted to do something together, couldn’t you have told him that?

YourShyLion · 16/03/2026 00:12

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:08

We spent yesterday together. I asked him what he wanted to do and he wanted a "lazy day".

I am the only adult in his life that puts boundaries in place, tells him off, makes him eat vegetables, makes him do his homework. Of course he doesn't want to spend time with me.

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That is so sad OP. It is possible to put boundaries in place and have a wonderful time together. You're his mum, nothing is going to change that so try and get things back on track.

Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:12

SleepingStandingUp · 16/03/2026 00:03

Why couldn't you go with him? Why does he spend nearly half his time there? Between school, his Dad's and your parents how much do you see him? I kinda get the "well fine, go there then!" hurt but you're doing neither of you favours if you're willing to sacrifice your relationship with him to your hurt pride

Edited

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I am NC with my "mother". She is a nasty, vindictive woman, but absolutely dotes on my son. Until this negatively affects him, I will not stop him seeing her.

OP posts:

Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:08

wishfulthinking25 · 16/03/2026 00:00

Sorry! Missed the update about them living together for 4 years. So I guess he wasn’t ‘invited’ he was just coming home! I feel sorry for OP’s son, he’s so young and he spent Mother’s Day with his grandparents instead of you doing something special with him

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We spent yesterday together. I asked him what he wanted to do and he wanted a "lazy day".

I am the only adult in his life that puts boundaries in place, tells him off, makes him eat vegetables, makes him do his homework. Of course he doesn't want to spend time with me.

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 16/03/2026 00:03

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 15/03/2026 23:43

Not necessarily. He wanted to spend the day with my parents, I'm not going to force him to spend it with me.

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Why couldn't you go with him? Why does he spend nearly half his time there? Between school, his Dad's and your parents how much do you see him? I kinda get the "well fine, go there then!" hurt but you're doing neither of you favours if you're willing to sacrifice your relationship with him to your hurt pride

wishfulthinking25 · 16/03/2026 00:00

DameOfThrones · 15/03/2026 23:48

Well this has taken a strange turn.

Where did 'inviting her boyfriend round' come into it? 😳

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Sorry! Missed the update about them living together for 4 years. So I guess he wasn’t ‘invited’ he was just coming home! I feel sorry for OP’s son, he’s so young and he spent Mother’s Day with his grandparents instead of you doing something special with him

LifeOfAShowgirl13 · 15/03/2026 23:58

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 15/03/2026 23:55

Less said of the "mother of the 17 year old", the better. She has gone on to have three more children with three other men, she is irrelevant in this.

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I thought you said you had your big girl pants on.

ImFinePMSL · 15/03/2026 23:57

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Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 15/03/2026 23:55

Ponoka7 · 15/03/2026 23:53

You got what you asked for. You should have made it clear that you wanted a day together. Did the Mother of the 17 year old, also want a day to herself?

Less said of the "mother of the 17 year old", the better. She has gone on to have three more children with three other men, she is irrelevant in this.

OP posts:

Ponoka7 · 15/03/2026 23:53

You got what you asked for. You should have made it clear that you wanted a day together. Did the Mother of the 17 year old, also want a day to herself?

plims · 15/03/2026 23:52

4wardlooking · 15/03/2026 23:51

Come on!

She knew the 7 year-old wanted to be with her parents so said to her partner all she wanted for MD was a child-free day, ie just the two of them, so no children at all! But he rocks up with his 17 yo to play games in their house. The day she wanted/planned went out the window!

It’s not that hard to understand.

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And yet I didn’t understand

Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 15/03/2026 23:51

Waxwinged · 15/03/2026 23:47

Why is your seven year old spending 40% of his time with your parents?

Because I am the only adult in his life that works, and has to be up at an unreasonable hour during the week.

OP posts:

4wardlooking · 15/03/2026 23:51

plims · 15/03/2026 23:45

But you said all you asked for was a child free day. What did you mean by that?

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Come on!

She knew the 7 year-old wanted to be with her parents so said to her partner all she wanted for MD was a child-free day, ie just the two of them, so no children at all! But he rocks up with his 17 yo to play games in their house. The day she wanted/planned went out the window!

It’s not that hard to understand.

plims · 15/03/2026 23:50

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 15/03/2026 23:48

My son splits his time between my house, his dad's house and my parent's house. He was at my house yesterday, and decided that he wanted to spend today at my parent's house. Therefore, if my own child wasn't spending the day at mine, I don't want to be 'mothering' a nearly adult, either.

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Oh, so you meant that you didn’t want your stepson there.

ImFinePMSL · 15/03/2026 23:49

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 15/03/2026 23:45

This is my partner. We have been living together for 4+ years. This was in addition to his arranged time with them. He has recently bought a new game on his PS that son wanted to play.

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So your 7 year old isn’t your partners son, im assuming?

I really don’t understand what you were annoyed about. Could you not have had a chilled day on the sofa whilst your partner and his son gamed upstairs?