Page 5 | Is this what I asked for??

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 2026-03-15T23:40:34+00:00

Ok, so it actually *is* what I asked for, but bloody hell, use your common sense! My child (7) decided he'd rather spend the day with my parents than me, fine. No problem with this, he probably spends 40% of his time there anyway, they have very few rules/boundaries, can't blame him. So, knowing this, all I asked for for Mother's Day was a child-free day. Not a cleaning-free day, not a cooking-free day, just a day without children, just us. And yet, up he rocked, with his son (17!!), to play his PlayStation (in our bedroom). If I'm not spending Mother's Day with my own child, I sure as hell don't want to spend it with an almost-adult. Just one day. That's all I asked for. And now, because I mumbled something to myself (and he overheard), he's packed up and fucked off. Give me all you've got, I've got my big girl pants on.

ThePerfectWeekender · 16/03/2026 01:06

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:20

Unfortunately not. When asked what he wants to do, it never includes me. And when he is "forced" to spend time with me, he finds fault with it. But I digress, this is another issue.

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It's really not...

Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 01:00

GarlicFound · 16/03/2026 00:57

Yeah, but Mother's Day is supposed to be about celebrating your mother. A kid who's been forced to spend the day with her instead of his indulgent grandparents isn't likely to be celebrating.

I reckon it's reasonable to want to take the opportunity for a chilled-out Sunday with her partner. Except the partner doesn't want the day with her, either! Poor OP.

Partner has to go, imo. Find ways to build more of a family feel at home with DS.

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Thank you for understanding.

This post has gone off the rails a little bit, but the partner has gone regardless.

I just wanted to know if I was completely to blame.

OP posts:

Waxwinged · 16/03/2026 01:00

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:37

I work a full time job, and have done since I was 17.
My parents are retired. My child's father does not work by choice.
Given these circumstances, why would I put my child in any form of 'paid childcare'?

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Because you’ve described your parents as, respectively, ‘as soft as shit’ and ‘a nasty, vindictive woman’ and as with no boundaries? Because them looking after him appears to be damaging your relationship with your seven year old?

Arregaithel · 16/03/2026 00:57

@Minjou

"Why would hers win?" may be because it was Mother's day!?

Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:57

99bottlesofkombucha · 16/03/2026 00:52

Things I don’t understand are: why you keep the useless unemployed man around, and why you let your child spend 1/3 of their time with your parents?!! My child has two lovely sets of grandparents but of course they dont spend anywhere near 1/3 if their time with the two sets combined, because it’s my child?
id kick the ‘partner’ out and cut the parents back and reestablish life with my child, who is at risk of pushing you away because he’s 7 and doesn’t understand that good parenting and love is boundaries and vegetables.

Unfortunately, the "useless, unemployed" man is his father. He gets to see him twice a week, I won't allow him any more than that. After he has been to his dads, he comes back spoilt and entitled.
He spends one night at my parent's, usually a Sunday, and they also take him to school and pick him up most days because I have to work.

OP posts:

GarlicFound · 16/03/2026 00:57

99bottlesofkombucha · 16/03/2026 00:53

My 7yo also does not get to decide where he spends his time.

Yeah, but Mother's Day is supposed to be about celebrating your mother. A kid who's been forced to spend the day with her instead of his indulgent grandparents isn't likely to be celebrating.

I reckon it's reasonable to want to take the opportunity for a chilled-out Sunday with her partner. Except the partner doesn't want the day with her, either! Poor OP.

Partner has to go, imo. Find ways to build more of a family feel at home with DS.

Minjou · 16/03/2026 00:55

4wardlooking · 15/03/2026 23:51

Come on!

She knew the 7 year-old wanted to be with her parents so said to her partner all she wanted for MD was a child-free day, ie just the two of them, so no children at all! But he rocks up with his 17 yo to play games in their house. The day she wanted/planned went out the window!

It’s not that hard to understand.

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It's hard to understand why she gets to decide what everyone else does.
She planned a day....he had other plans, clearly. Why would hers win?

99bottlesofkombucha · 16/03/2026 00:53

My 7yo also does not get to decide where he spends his time.

99bottlesofkombucha · 16/03/2026 00:52

Things I don’t understand are: why you keep the useless unemployed man around, and why you let your child spend 1/3 of their time with your parents?!! My child has two lovely sets of grandparents but of course they dont spend anywhere near 1/3 if their time with the two sets combined, because it’s my child?
id kick the ‘partner’ out and cut the parents back and reestablish life with my child, who is at risk of pushing you away because he’s 7 and doesn’t understand that good parenting and love is boundaries and vegetables.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/03/2026 00:51

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:27

I don't "send" my son any where; he chooses to go there, where my lovely dad also is.

Unfortunately, my lovely dad is also soft as shit.

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But he’s 7! Surely he doesn’t get to just decide where he goes?

GarlicFound · 16/03/2026 00:51

I found all your posts easy to understand, OP. I'm sorry your partner couldn't be bothered with you when you'd asked to spend the day as a couple.

My suggestion, as far as practicable, is to lose the partner and invite your Dad round more often.

Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:50

whyyyyyisitmonddayy · 16/03/2026 00:46

You have a problem with everyone. Including your seven year old child. What on earth?
you’re the problem!!!!

I have no problem with my child!

I have a problem with my alcoholic mother who tried to kill herself when I was a young adult, but yet, I give her her dues that she is an amazing nana that dotes on my son.

I have a problem with his dad, who doesn't work and pays me £5 a week when he remembers.

OP posts:

Sortofballs · 16/03/2026 00:46

So one of the children in this scenario got to spend the day with a parent. Your stepson. You seem to be embroiled in a very complex setup here, and the children involved have ended up with a raw deal. So if your DP had a nice day with his son, that sounds like a good thing. What was he supposed to do? Tell his son he wasn’t welcome in his dad’s home? YABU.

whyyyyyisitmonddayy · 16/03/2026 00:46

You have a problem with everyone. Including your seven year old child. What on earth?
you’re the problem!!!!

Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:45

SomethingUniqueThisTime · 16/03/2026 00:40

You did have a child free day. I don’t understand what the issue is, it’s not really about Mothers Day. You are not your partner’s mother why is a problem what he does. It does sound like you don’t understand what being a parent is all about.

Yes, I did have a child-free day. At the expense of my relationship.
His child is welcome at my house literally every other day of the year, but I specifically asked for this day to be child-free.
And yet, he couldn't understand that.

OP posts:

Fends · 16/03/2026 00:44

You had a free day, you see your 7 year old 30% of the time and didn’t choose to spend Mother’s Day with him?

zizza · 16/03/2026 00:42

Blimey - it was your chance to have a lovely day with your son, one you could've made special. Whole situation sounds quite sad really.

But to answer your question, no, you asked for a child-free day and your partner ignored that. So you didn't get what you asked for.

RawBloomers · 16/03/2026 00:42

You've got a choice lot of commenters who appear to lac reading comprehension sills and the ability to see past the end of their own nose.

It was pretty shitty of your partner, OP. Does he normally put you last in everything or is this a surprise?

Arregaithel · 16/03/2026 00:41

Your partner prioritised his son over your desire to have a child free day, that's really not good enough, is it @ClownsDontHaveNipples?

You may want to have a re-think of your relationship, to one, that respects your needs and boundaries.

Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:40

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/03/2026 00:34

That makes no sense

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Of course it makes sense. She has 4 children to 4 men. And, according to her, 2 of those men are not father material, and does not allow them to see their children.

OP posts:

SomethingUniqueThisTime · 16/03/2026 00:40

You did have a child free day. I don’t understand what the issue is, it’s not really about Mothers Day. You are not your partner’s mother why is a problem what he does. It does sound like you don’t understand what being a parent is all about.

Giraffehaver · 16/03/2026 00:39

You sound very cold and selfish tbh

Original poster

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:37

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/03/2026 00:28

So it’s Mother’s Day, and your one child, who you have less than 50% off the time decided they didn’t want to spend it with you… and your annoyed you did get this ‘child free’ day. YABU

I work a full time job, and have done since I was 17.
My parents are retired. My child's father does not work by choice.
Given these circumstances, why would I put my child in any form of 'paid childcare'?

OP posts:

KeeleyJ · 16/03/2026 00:36

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:33

Then she would need to speak to the other three men involved to arrange this. Except that she's decided that two of those are too irresponsible to raise a child. Weird that...

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Presumably this is exactly what happened...

Maybe time for you to head to bed and sleep it off 😉

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/03/2026 00:34

ClownsDontHaveNipples · 16/03/2026 00:33

Then she would need to speak to the other three men involved to arrange this. Except that she's decided that two of those are too irresponsible to raise a child. Weird that...

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That makes no sense