AIBU to be upset DP drank, napped and disappeared on Mother’s Day?

Why have kids with someone who doesn’t meet your expectations for these things? Your day sounds like mine were, insofar as I got zero assistance with children, at all, ever, until they could walk and talk, dress and feed themselves. Mothering Sunday did not exist in our house. Nor did he do housework or any ‘women’s work’
Anyway, Nor did Fathers Day…so you know what to do in June ..nothing. Go out, leave him to get on with it. You will have recovered from the birth by then.
I couldn’t..my kids would have not been alive when I got back 😂 but it seems yours does do some stuff re helping out. So let him have a child full Fathers Day ..and you go have a child free day

Your feelings matter here you have just had a baby.. he is acting like an idiot and has no right being in a mood with you.
Your needs and the children's are more important especially on mothers day .. you will feel frazzled at the moment but in the future I would think about not putting up with his attitude and behaviour tell him to step up be less thoughtless he has a young family time he grew up . X

Yes! Yes to this!

So many women on MN mothering their own children and doing the father’s job parenting his other kids while he pisses about ‘being a bloke’. It’s infuriating.

God these stories are ten a penny. Kids from a previous relationship, more kids with new partner (not married of course), awful father, awful man, is it me and my HORMONES? Am I being unreasonable? Seriously, what happened to you? He is NOT A GOOD MAN.

It’s a real shame that when it comes to the most important decision you can ever make, you’ve made a really bad decision. However, you cannot change the past now. You can only decide if this is how you want to continue being treated in the future. I think it is also worth considering why you’ve let someone treat you like this.

It being mother’s day is a red herring. This wouldn’t be acceptable ever

Oh so dropped them off. Then had a few hours to himself while you struggled with 2 small children

then went to the pub

you know he was wrong to do all that

now do you call him out on it and say it’s not on or put up with it or think about leaving - which I’m sure you won’t just having a baby

Seriously how do we get women to stop having children with men like this?!

Do not have any more children with this waste of space!!

Did his ex leave him as that was the only way she could ever imagine him parenting in any useful way?

IwaffleAlot …. That was rude and nasty!!

Yes, your boyfriend is a bit of a wanker, but you already knew that. The question is what you're going to do about it? By the way, women are their own worst enemies when they constantly put things down to their hormones or allow the men in their lives to do so.

take his kids to a relatives house an hour away as they were all going out for a family meal.

Why did you not go?
Were you not invited?

Fathers of 2 week old babies should not be staying up drinking for a start. You can’t parent a newborn when you’re hungover. You deserved a much nicer day.

You had a baby two weeks ago and you’re getting up with multiple kids while he sleeps off a hangover? Fuck that whether it’s Mother’s Day or not.

Couldn’t have put it better myself I’d be leaving this waste of space

You have a right to be upset any day but even more so on Mother’s Day.

Why on earth would you have a baby with him?!

That’s really unfair and he should be more open with you.
It’s not you. There is something else going on.
He took his older kids to see their mum? His ex’s family? And perhaps that didn’t go well so he needed to reset before coming home? Was the drinking the night before out of dread?

He then comes home and lashes out at you.

I would be having a discussion, kids by two mothers might be why you’re not getting his full attention and when you do, he’s in a mood because of the ex.

In this case, it might be wise to say on the mother’s day weekend, your Mother’s Day is the Saturday and ex-family with the older kids is Sunday. He can’t be in two places at once and him going there in the morning ruined it for you. He also needs to find a better way than Dutch courage the night before taking the older kids to their mum.

Well then YANBU to be upset. He put himself before you and on MD!

Very selfish behaviour.

My DH checks if it’s okay with me if he stops at the supermarket on his way home when I’ve been at home all day with the toddler and the baby because he knows I could’ve had the day from hell and doesn’t know what he’s walking into! So no, you are not being unreasonable when he’s just taking himself off to the pub without checking in with you on Mother’s Day no less.
I wouldn’t care what gift he’d bought me, that’s just material nonsense. The best gift I could get for Mother’s Day would be a lie in and minimal parenting.
I hope you absolutely return the treatment you’ve received on Father’s Day. He’ll be expecting a lie in and to go to the pub when it’s his day I’m sure. Nope.

For a man who's not a big celebration guy, to quote yourself, he seems more than able to celebrate enjoying himself. His behaviour is awful, and even more so with a newborn in the mix.

Ah cross posted / much easier to fake older kids and leave you with the young ones

does he drink a lot usually

Apologies. I jumped to conclusions. It was just you mentioned pit-stops up thread.