People should make an effort on Mother's day.

I don’t agree with the commercialisation of Mothering Sunday (as it should be called) but I do agree that mothers (and fathers) should be celebrated and Jessie Buckley summed that up wonderfully.

Exactly, everyone who lives in our house just does random stuff for each other all year round just because

And why on earth do mothers need to be celebrated everyday, they chose to have children in the first place now they need an award for it?

The vet gave me flowers from my dog!

Or perhaps some of us just really aren’t bothered about it. It’s nothing to do with self-esteem.

I didn’t even realise it was Mother’s Day until my daughter sent me a message. It’s not something I bother with, it’s just another day to me. I certainly wouldn’t expect anything from anyone or make them buy me something.

Agree. These men are hopeless. Even my ex sent me a nice message to say I am an amazing mum and he couldn’t have chosen anyone better to have children with. That said, one year he deliberately ignored mothers day as we’d had a big bust up on father’s day, the year before. He waited nearly a year for his revenge. I sent him a very calm text telling him I didn’t want an argument but I was very disappointed in him, as the kids didn’t understand why they had no gift for me. He came home with gifts that evening, but that was another nail in the coffin of our relationship. My DC are old enough now to buy their own gifts and take me for a meal.

A made up day? It originates from the 16th century. Don’t think shops sold rubbish in those days!

It seems like some women have set ideas of what exactly they demand but will either order people around or just expect people to be psychic, and this makes it enjoyable fo them?

I do think some mothers have a very rigid view of what should happen on Mother’s Day and at some stage that is only going to result in disappointment.

People need to be a lot more generous

What ‘people’, exactly?

Who are you to say what other people should or shouldn’t do on Mother’s Day? It’s none of your business and you’ve no idea of anyone else’s circumstances.

Even my ex who is an absolute c word, still manages to get me flowers and hand made cards from the kids. This comes from me always doing this on Father’s Day for him and I also explain this to the children that this is what I would like ( now they are old enough to understand ). I’m sorry to all the mums who didn’t get any acknowledgement today. When the children were very little and my ex had barely any contact, I wouldn’t get anything but my father did remember my first Mother’s Day and brought me round an orchid.

Exactly. It’s really not a lot to ask for to mark a day is it. Just to make someone feel properly appreciated.

My mother didn't believe in it, she said it was an American custom brought over from the US in WW2.
So I have never bothered and have not encouraged my children to, either. Same with all the hype over Halloween.

Both men and women in my family appreciate what people do not what they don't, If I didnt generally feel appreciated I would have relationship issues not ''oh no I did not get what list I made for them to give me'' one day of the year issue

and yes I do think part of all the drama is about how people can show off of social media, so not sure what is more depressing people training people into how to treat them or the obsession to post all about it

My mum was a feminist before it had been invented and was clear that flowers etc could be bought at any time of the year and actively disliked the sanctification of motherhood I suppose and I agree with her. Let’s all learn to appreciate and behave nicely to each other all year. In fact it almost seems to give families an excuse to behave badly the rest of the year provided they produce a box of chocolates on mother’s day . It’s meant my now adult children have had to explain to friends that no we haven’t fallen out their mum is just a bit weird!

I can imagine the replies to ''I trained my wife" if I have to train anyone what on earth is the point?

Because of a date on a calender people have to do something, maybe expectations should be less?

Eavan Boland would have thought that basing your self-esteem on what you were given on Mothers’ Day was absolutely ridiculous, @EavanBoland.

To be honest, I find it so commercialised and overhyped that I dislike Mother’s Day as a whole concept and I would rather ignore it completely. I don’t want the cards/gifts/flowers or breakfast in bed. Or a special cup of tea or lunch made. It’s performative and I don’t want or need it. I haven’t made a fuss of it for years- my mum is of the same view, thankfully.

If mum was really keen, I’d feel forced into making some sort of effort for her sake, though being forced into joining in the Mother’s Day circus would irritate me.

I feel like so many people are missing the point - most mums aren’t after expensive showy gifts and meals out. A cup of tea in bed, a card, perhaps a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolates, and a hug, is pretty much all that is needed. It’s low cost/affordable to most, it’s low effort overall but it shows that somebody cares. The people that are disappointed haven’t even received that.

AIBU is an absolute delight on Mother's Day. Why don't you all woman up and actually tell your kids (or fathers of your kids) you were disappointed with their offerings rather than bitch on here. Because if you put on a faux smile and accepted gracefully, they are going to think it was fine and do the same every year.
Or the OP who actually complained about the way her mum worded her thanks for the flowers she sent her.

The commercialised Mother's Day has only been around since the 50s. It is hardly a tradition going back 100s of years. Mothering Sunday was actually about the church, and not women who have had kids.

I am imaging a fed up mum swatting her kid away with their card whilst she is on her phone on MN posting about it.

Yes, the kids are only small so I ask my ex to take them to a shop and help them buy something. Post divorce he didn't do anything but when I said how much it upset me and if he could just get a card and a wrapped gift it would mean a great deal, he has finally started to do it.

Being a solo parent it does mean a great deal to me and also meant a great deal to my kids to be able to buy something in secret and give it to me.

This! An absolutely pointless circus.

I don’t think there is a “should” about it, actually. I think Mother’s Day is an overly commercialised circus. I’d rather nobody wasted money on a present I don’t need or wasted paper on a card I don’t not need either. I really would prefer other ways of being shown appreciation.

However, I can appreciate some people place greater weight to it even if I don’t- but I don’t think it’s particularly productive to try to force people to express care/gratitude/affection in the way you’d prefer.

I didn’t receive anything shop bought this year but DD knitted my gift herself and I love it. She also made a cake which we had for dessert after the roast DH cooked for us, DM and MIL.
And as a total bonus she sorted all the bastard laundry while I sat and watched a film with the dog!