People should make an effort on Mother's day.

As a mum I don’t expect to be given lots, I’m fortunate that throughout the year if I really need something we tend to give eachother random gifts. But I do expect to be acknowledge. A day where I’m expected to do nothing and pampered. Or the opposite, a day where I’m supported to do something I love like a hobby I never get to do. As the kids are small I do expect effort to come from dad.

My favourites have always been the cards and gifts the children make from school/nursery. But I think all mums should be acknowledged and just thanked really.

I do agree that it is too commercialised. The origin of Mothering Sunday has nothing to do with doing something for your mum

Well I had the best mother's day ever. Got a free slices of cake & 2 half price chickens in Morrisons. Usually miss out on this kind of thing. Came home to dd2 (17) spring cleaning her bedroom without being asked! (Yes, it's an annual thing!) Dd1 (22) who's in Bangkok facetimed me and the 2 dds gave me a card with a poem inside they'd written together. They then played me a recording of them singing it to the tune of a song we all like. It was very touching & funny. I couldn't care less about presents, they had put so much thought into it together and didn't cost anything

Dd2 did also give me a present she'd won in a tombola but that's fine, I don't want her wasting her money

I think people should remember about their mothers all the time, not only at Christmas or Mother's Day.

Commercialised nonsense.
People can make an effort to spoil their mum at any time of year and it would be more meaningful

I’m a single parent and when my DC were younger I would take them to Tesco with a fiver each to pick some tat I didn’t need so that they wouldn’t miss out. I would just wait at the door.
Sometimes school or nursery would do something too.
No need to miss out

Bit different though isn't it?

Mothers / Fathers Day, Valentines Day, Christmas are all mass manufactured, commercialised events and completely bypass what these days / celebrations were all about in the first place. Supermarkets, websites, shops, restaurants all go completely overboard in the weeks and months running up to these dates making people feel bad if they're not participating.

Birthdays are purely a celebration by your own family and friends of the day you were born. Not an excuse for shops to coin it in selling overpriced garbage.

Can I point you to the thread in which the woman is complaining her daughter made her afternoon tea with shop-bought sandwiches instead of homemade....?

Not your fault at all. Its a fact of life that the rewards young men get from pleasing their girlfriends are of higher value to them than those they get from pleasing their mums!

Also to add, my own mother was disabled my whole life and died in 2017 so I want to reclaim the day as my own. It's never as black and white as it appears.

Life is more complex than this, OP.
Not everyone likes/has a good relationship with their mother.
Some mothers have unreasonable expectations, and attempt to manipulate their partners or children.
If someone has to bully or guilt another person into giving them a gift, then it's not worth having.
Above all, as others have said, it's a church day that has been hijacked by commercial companies, so it's perfectly reasonable to want to opt out of all the excess.

Not true. I love the cards and the flowers I get. I'd be happy with home made gifts too. It's nice to spread a little joy.

This is exactly what I think Mother’s Day & Valentines Day shouldn’t be. Each to his own but I think laying down expectations is terrible. It’s just a commercial cesspit

This is what I think too, would far rather go out for a spontaneous meal than one that costs three times the price just because it’s Mother’s Day!

Calm down. When I say 'trained' I mean over many years I have made it plain to them how much I appreciate effort over spending money. From a young age I always got them to make handmade cards for other family members/each other so they see this as a normal way to express your appreciation for others. They are now all thoughtful and decent teenagers.

Ok , I agree that it is nice to get / make / spend some time with your mum if you are able to (obviously not everyone can or has a good relationship). But if you do , it's nice to at least make a gesture.

BUT you sound like a kid at Xmas. It's not about being pampered or fancy gifts.its about appreciating your mum .
I got two home made cards and some flowers and a lie in. I have the luxury of a partner that can make this happen as well. Not every mum has someone to go out and get the flowers/ look after the kids. So you sound a bit sulky.

I totally agree with earlier posters you need to set out your expectations as well. No one can read minds! Try communicating what you want better.

One of them is 4 years old! Why can't he be taken to a shop and given £5 to spend on his mum?

Happy wife. Happy life, same goes for an ex wife.

I love mothers day. Why should women put up and shut up. Bollocks to that.

Trained? Such a bizarre concept.
Do your best to bring up your DC to be decent human beings. Appreciate the ways they choose to appreciate you as their parent.

THIS ////////\

It is commercialised nonsense. I do not need society to tell me what specific day I should show my appreciation to my mum.

I told my DDs to get me nothing, and they were fine with that. It was just another day imo.

I'm not really bothered about my kids spending money on me. I'd rather they spent some time. I've trained them over many years to know I like handmade cards (helps they are all arty). Mine cooked me dinner, we went for a walk together, played a game and watched a show, all my choices. Perfect.

It's very strange to me to see a grown adult claiming "heartbreak" over their partner not getting them a "wrapped gift" on a completely arbitrary day.

And it's completely inappropriate to talk about "training" your spouse (or ex-spouse!!!) to dance around you with cards and gifts, imo. And an odd thing to model for your children.

My children made me cards which was lovely. My husband had his mum ordere 2 completely random things from amazon because they said 'mum' on them then had them delivered to his parents address and his mum wrapped them in christmas paper (in the amazon box which had their name and address on).
He says I looked ungrateful when I opened it. Every year he does the same. I say I would be happy with a box of chocolates if you just went to the shop with the kids and let them chose themselves. I don't want your parents ordering and wrapping them, it is pointless!

Not even a mention from my husband. DD who is arty gave me a bunch of flowers and hand painted me a canvas of an animal I love. Disabled DS bought me a chocolate from his pocket money. Great to see my kids are not selfish like their father who I'm quiet quitting on and getting my ducks in a row for some time now so not bothered or surprised to be honest.

I think these days can be very performative, it’s the year that counts not the day。I didn’t receive any flowers or card on Valentine’s Day - never have had flowers from DH occasionally a card but that isn’t important to me. Yesterday had one virtual card from one child and none from the other never have had or expected gifts and that doesn’t bother me.