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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by the volume of deleted comments which are merely mildly provocative or robustly stating an opposing opinion, rather than being unacceptably rude or offensive?

186 replies

auserna · 15/03/2026 15:05

NOT a TAAT.

Does anyone else find it highly irritating when threads end up having more holes than Swiss cheese due to so many posts having been deleted?

Much of the time the person at whom the contentious comment was aimed has replied (obviously before the deletion) in a manner that suggests they weren't in the least offended or bothered by it - but now you can no longer see what they were responding to.

It sometimes feels a bit like being back at school, with everyone running to the teacher and gleefully exclaiming, "Reported!" as if they're going to earn a gold star for doing so.

It's not actually injurious to one's health to be mildly ruffled by someone having a different opinion or viewpoint on a particular topic, as happens all the time in real life.

I may be an outlier here, and am happy to accept that if it's the case, but I'm curious to know how others feel.

OP posts:
Aslighthead · 15/03/2026 15:32

auserna · 15/03/2026 15:29

Also I was once suspended for posting an utterly ridiculous anti-vaxxer video and asking people with more medical/scientific knowledge than me to help me debunk it. My suspension was for spreading disinformation, which was (quite clearly!) the exact opposite of what I was trying to achieve.

Out of interest are you an anti vaxxer?

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 15/03/2026 15:30

Yanbu. I recently had a post deleted as a personal attack. All I had posted was ‘You’re being silly’ to an OP.

People can post all manner of racist or ableist crap and it’s left to stand though.

Original poster
auserna · 15/03/2026 15:29

Also I was once suspended for posting an utterly ridiculous anti-vaxxer video and asking people with more medical/scientific knowledge than me to help me debunk it. My suspension was for spreading disinformation, which was (quite clearly!) the exact opposite of what I was trying to achieve.

OP posts:
Original poster
auserna · 15/03/2026 15:26

Regarding inconsistencies, I once asked for a thread I started to be deleted and was told that only happened in cases where it is illegal in some way. This is patently not the case!

OP posts:
harriethoyle · 15/03/2026 15:25

YANBU - I had comments deleted and when I asked the mod which of the many explicit rules id broken they came back with a load of waffle and ultimately “not in the spirit of the site”. Really pathetic and not at all transparent.

I take the view that if I post asking a question and people respond in a way I don’t like but isn’t abusive/discriminatory etc it’s up to me to suck it up for seeking opinions. Otherwise this place will just become a tepid echo chamber.

Original poster
auserna · 15/03/2026 15:24

Springisspringingnow · 15/03/2026 15:16

I'm surprised you remember what the deleted comments actually said, unless it's your own comments that have been deleted. If I'm following a thread and there is an exceptionally unpleasant post then I might remember the comment but more often than not I see that a comnent has been deleted and have no knowledge if whether it was offensive or not.

I agree differences of opinion should not be deleted just because they are differences of opinion but it really depends on how they are worded doesn't it?

I didn't say I remembered, I said (para 3 of my OP) that the tone of the response makes it very clear the person it was aimed at didn't find it offensive in the slightest.

The other thing that has struck me recently is how often you see a new thread with a handful of deleted posts by the same poster right at the beginning. Of course it's possible that they were all beyond the pale, but I'm sceptical as to whether that's always the case.

OP posts:
TigTails · 15/03/2026 15:22

I agree completely about it be dependent on which moderator deals with it. I’ve reported things and they’ve initially been left to stand, but when I’ve responded to challenge that they’ve subsequently been removed.

BIWI · 15/03/2026 15:20

Justine has posted recently about wanting MNHQ to deal (better) with unpleasant and nasty posts on MN, accepting that the 'tone' - for want of a better word - has changed for the worse over the last few years.

SwanRivers · 15/03/2026 15:18

The moderation has always puzzled me over the 15 years I've posted on MN.

I think it largely depends on the POV of the moderator sometimes and of course the amount of reports.

What puzzles me more is how some posters continually get their posts deleted for being downright racist or ableist, yet they continue to post without being banned.

I'm not talking about a few 'arguable' posts either.

Springisspringingnow · 15/03/2026 15:16

I'm surprised you remember what the deleted comments actually said, unless it's your own comments that have been deleted. If I'm following a thread and there is an exceptionally unpleasant post then I might remember the comment but more often than not I see that a comnent has been deleted and have no knowledge if whether it was offensive or not.

I agree differences of opinion should not be deleted just because they are differences of opinion but it really depends on how they are worded doesn't it?

Aslighthead · 15/03/2026 15:15

Oh it’s endless. Threads completely bitty due to deleted comments that were so innocuous