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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by the volume of deleted comments which are merely mildly provocative or robustly stating an opposing opinion, rather than being unacceptably rude or offensive?

186 replies

auserna · 15/03/2026 15:05

NOT a TAAT.

Does anyone else find it highly irritating when threads end up having more holes than Swiss cheese due to so many posts having been deleted?

Much of the time the person at whom the contentious comment was aimed has replied (obviously before the deletion) in a manner that suggests they weren't in the least offended or bothered by it - but now you can no longer see what they were responding to.

It sometimes feels a bit like being back at school, with everyone running to the teacher and gleefully exclaiming, "Reported!" as if they're going to earn a gold star for doing so.

It's not actually injurious to one's health to be mildly ruffled by someone having a different opinion or viewpoint on a particular topic, as happens all the time in real life.

I may be an outlier here, and am happy to accept that if it's the case, but I'm curious to know how others feel.

OP posts:
StolenTeapots · 17/03/2026 07:33

Is the change because mn might be getting sold?

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 16/03/2026 22:14

Just another form of Click bait following an algorithm?

CruCru · 15/03/2026 22:24

DBSFstupid · 15/03/2026 21:12

Oh well that explains it!! Unhelpful?? Unbelievable.

Show quote history

I posted on a thread where I disagreed with the OP (not rudely, I hope). She decided that as a couple of other posters had also disagreed with her, we must all be one person posting under different accounts. Then she kept posting that we were clearly a troll and that it was a plot to discredit her thread. That was weird. And unhelpful.

Nutmuncher · 15/03/2026 21:56

Absolutely agree. Whoever has the inclination to report a post on a forum in 2026 because they simply dislike a tone or point being made (unless it’s incredibly attacking/derogatory) is in my opinion a jobsworth. Also depends heavily on who is moderating.

Original poster
auserna · 15/03/2026 21:56

HarryVanderspeigle · 15/03/2026 21:47

Hard to tell really, as once they are deleted, I don't know what they said. I did once have a comment hidden that was never unhidden. It was about phonics, so no idea what was so contentious!

Perhaps someone didn't read it properly (seems to be de rigueur on here) and thought you were accusing someone of being phobic of something!

OP posts:
HarryVanderspeigle · 15/03/2026 21:47

Hard to tell really, as once they are deleted, I don't know what they said. I did once have a comment hidden that was never unhidden. It was about phonics, so no idea what was so contentious!

DBSFstupid · 15/03/2026 21:41

Bagsintheboot · 15/03/2026 21:34

Not at all.

There have been quite a few instances where an OP has posted, obviously in distress, and then gets piled on with numerous obviously unhelpful posts that, while not being outright attacks, are clearly just intended to have a dig.

If you don't agree with the way a forum is moderated, you're more than welcome to start your own...

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Your third paragraph is not very helpful😅

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 15/03/2026 21:41

ohyesido · 15/03/2026 15:39

Do comments get hidden or removed simply because someone chose to report it, or does someone from MNHQ actually look at a reported post and decide whether it stays?

They can only look at a post if it's been reported.

DBSFstupid · 15/03/2026 21:39

SwanRivers · 15/03/2026 21:25

I think in context it means being deliberately unhelpful, rather than inadvertently giving unhelpful advice.

So for example if a poster posts purely to pick someone up on their spelling and grammar, and offers nothing else.

At least that's the way I understand it.

Show quote history

Ok, that does make sense. Thank you.

Bagsintheboot · 15/03/2026 21:34

DBSFstupid · 15/03/2026 21:21

Yes.
To report a poster for writing an 'unhelpful' post is laughable.

Show quote history

Not at all.

There have been quite a few instances where an OP has posted, obviously in distress, and then gets piled on with numerous obviously unhelpful posts that, while not being outright attacks, are clearly just intended to have a dig.

If you don't agree with the way a forum is moderated, you're more than welcome to start your own...

ilovesooty · 15/03/2026 21:33

SwanRivers · 15/03/2026 21:25

I think in context it means being deliberately unhelpful, rather than inadvertently giving unhelpful advice.

So for example if a poster posts purely to pick someone up on their spelling and grammar, and offers nothing else.

At least that's the way I understand it.

Show quote history

Nitpicking which isn't adding anything to the topic
Posts designed to belittle and shame
Aggressive posts which have the effect of discouraging posters from seeking support

That's my interpretation anyway.

IsthataNo · 15/03/2026 21:30

Not at all you can be robust and respectful.

Original poster
auserna · 15/03/2026 21:29

DBSFstupid · 15/03/2026 20:40

I'm not 'wanting to post about anything specifically' so no need for you to assume anything about my post.

It is my general feeling that many posts have been diluted and deleted that are innocuous and shouldn't have been.

People are falling over themselves to report. I find this in many areas of life - my workplace for example, and it makes colleagues distrustful of each other and no longer a great environment to work in.

Show quote history

Posting that you have reported a comment is another of the many forms of virtue-signalling you get on MN, one of the most abhorrent of which recently was all the posts about Ian Huntley, where people were, as you say, falling over themselves to express their glee that he had been attacked attacked as if that was going to win them brownie points.

OP posts:
SwanRivers · 15/03/2026 21:25

DBSFstupid · 15/03/2026 21:21

Yes.
To report a poster for writing an 'unhelpful' post is laughable.

Show quote history

I think in context it means being deliberately unhelpful, rather than inadvertently giving unhelpful advice.

So for example if a poster posts purely to pick someone up on their spelling and grammar, and offers nothing else.

At least that's the way I understand it.

DBSFstupid · 15/03/2026 21:21

ilovesooty · 15/03/2026 21:15

Do you have a problem with that?

Show quote history

Yes.
To report a poster for writing an 'unhelpful' post is laughable.

ilovesooty · 15/03/2026 21:15

DBSFstupid · 15/03/2026 21:12

Oh well that explains it!! Unhelpful?? Unbelievable.

Show quote history

Do you have a problem with that?

DBSFstupid · 15/03/2026 21:12

ilovesooty · 15/03/2026 15:45

You can now report posts for being aggressive and unhelpful. I imagine MNHQ are acting on such reports.

Oh well that explains it!! Unhelpful?? Unbelievable.

DBSFstupid · 15/03/2026 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Blueharmonica · 15/03/2026 20:43

BIWI · 15/03/2026 20:35

The bits that you haven't explained. Or justified, quite frankly!

I actually have a theory it’s linked to autism rather than learned behaviour, but that’s a different discussion

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It seems straightforward, can you just explain clearly what you want from me please?

Blueharmonica · 15/03/2026 20:41

SpecialAgentMaggieBell · 15/03/2026 20:33

Oh come off it! I’m both left wing and a Labour supporter, the only posts I’ve ever reported in the 25 years I’ve been on here have been spam posts! You seem to be of the opinion only right wing people can take different opinions. Which is ridiculous!

Edited
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Not just right wing people, centrists and non political are all accepting of differing opinions. It’s not my opinion btw, it’s a well documented feature of left wing people. Cancel culture, no platforming and political correctness are all symptoms of the same issue.

DBSFstupid · 15/03/2026 20:40

BIWI · 15/03/2026 20:21

Freedom of speech has nothing to do with this. It's an expressed wish - by Justine and myriad posters on MN - for posters to post with less aggression and nastiness. There are not many here who advocate for #BeKind, as that's generally seen as a way to tell women to shut up. But there's also no need for the way some posters seem to think that it's OK to post.

Mumsnet has always been a place where you can have an 'honest and real debate'. Nothing has changed in that regard.

If you're beginning to feel suffocated, it does make me wonder exactly what it is that you're wanting to post about?

Show quote history

I'm not 'wanting to post about anything specifically' so no need for you to assume anything about my post.

It is my general feeling that many posts have been diluted and deleted that are innocuous and shouldn't have been.

People are falling over themselves to report. I find this in many areas of life - my workplace for example, and it makes colleagues distrustful of each other and no longer a great environment to work in.

BIWI · 15/03/2026 20:35

Blueharmonica · 15/03/2026 20:30

Which bits are you struggling to understand?

Show quote history

The bits that you haven't explained. Or justified, quite frankly!

I actually have a theory it’s linked to autism rather than learned behaviour, but that’s a different discussion

SpecialAgentMaggieBell · 15/03/2026 20:33

Blueharmonica · 15/03/2026 17:56

It’s a left wing thing, differing opinions are not to be tolerated and all that. The mods probably get absolutely bombared by Labour supporters.

Oh come off it! I’m both left wing and a Labour supporter, the only posts I’ve ever reported in the 25 years I’ve been on here have been spam posts! You seem to be of the opinion only right wing people can take different opinions. Which is ridiculous!

Blueharmonica · 15/03/2026 20:30

BIWI · 15/03/2026 20:23

Then explain yourself. And your comments.

Show quote history

Which bits are you struggling to understand?

SpecialAgentMaggieBell · 15/03/2026 20:29

YANBU. Does my head in. Had one of my comments deleted today and I can’t even remember what I said, but I sure as hell know it wasn’t bloody offensive!