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Original poster

AIBU to think DD’s ‘friend’ got a buzz cut to spite her?

288 replies

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 12:53

My 22 year old DD has a male ‘friend’ who she has been on and off in a situationship with for a few months, they were friends before that.
On Wednesday she had a few girlfriends over as well as him and were just randomly discussing hairstyles. All the girls including DD mentioned they don’t like buzz cuts and then that was that. Yesterday, he came over to pick up DD to go out and he had been to the barbers and had a buzz cut! Only 3 days after he heard that DD and the other girls mentioned they don’t like them, he got one. I thought it was weird. He had really attractive blond wavy hair and he got rid of it for what?

AIBU to think this was quite narcissistic and he wanted to spite her, could be a bit of a stretch but perhaps even slightly misogynistic. Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently.

Am I thinking too much into it or was he being spiteful? It’s just really irked me!

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 15/03/2026 13:51

Dreamcatcherat50 · 15/03/2026 13:31

Definitely possible. Keep an eye on him for escalation OP.

Ignore the nasty language from posters who are desperately upset that your daughter is in a casual relationship and you and she are fine with that.

'So he's shagging your DD on and off' 🙄

This site is full of women who deeply believe in marriage and tolerating misery. They don't/won't have sex and are very easily upset.

What?

GinaandGin · 15/03/2026 13:47

It's not him that's narcissistic
It's not him who is controlling
It's a hair cut
I'm pretty sure his world does not revolve around the silly opinions of your precious pampered daughter

Flamingphalanges · 15/03/2026 13:46

Bonkers.

(You, OP!)

VividPinkTraybake · 15/03/2026 13:45

sundaysurfing · 15/03/2026 13:32

Sorry, but I think this is weird. If the conversation the girls were having was genuinely as you described and they weren’t as extreme to say they would dump a guy if he got a buzz cut - then yes, why would he do that? She should get one too to match him 😆 I would be genuinely interested to know why he did that and if you are with him in the near future, I would ask him myself, Just out of curiosity!

You would ask someone you daughter is hooking up with why he got a haircut....

Nevs · 15/03/2026 13:45

Get a life of your own OP

365RubyRed · 15/03/2026 13:45

You're a tiny bit over invested in your daughter's love life, I would have thought. Why you are giving this any headspace is odd. They're not even a committed couple.

ReadySteadyCant · 15/03/2026 13:44

It’s not him who sounds narcissistic.

ForTipsyFinch · 15/03/2026 13:43

I don’t think it’s reasonable for her to have a say over his hair. That’s controlling, and they aren’t even in a relationship.

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/03/2026 13:43

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 12:59

@WonderingWanda they we’re not casting judgement, they were just mentioning their preferences, which is a normal thing to have.

Why should he style his hair to suit them?

PhaseFour · 15/03/2026 13:42

This is one of the most.bizarre threads I've ever read on here - you interpretation of this sitiation blows my mind, tbh.

Coffeetimes3 · 15/03/2026 13:42

Dreamcatcherat50 · 15/03/2026 13:31

Definitely possible. Keep an eye on him for escalation OP.

Ignore the nasty language from posters who are desperately upset that your daughter is in a casual relationship and you and she are fine with that.

'So he's shagging your DD on and off' 🙄

This site is full of women who deeply believe in marriage and tolerating misery. They don't/won't have sex and are very easily upset.

And this is bullshit! My daughter's in a situation ship and it's mutual. I was giving op the benefit of the doubt in case it wasn't for her and she was feeling defensive.

If my DD said her bloke had buzzed off his hair after hearing she didn't like buzz cuts I would never jump to this conclusion. And if she did, I'd tell her not to be daft. Remind her they're not in a relationship and even if they were he could do what he wanted with his hair! I'd probably also tell her if she was reading this much into his actions perhaps a situationship wasn't for her

JustSawJohnny · 15/03/2026 13:42

What's narcissistic is you thinking that another person's hair choices are anything to do with your DD or you in the slightest.

Good for that kid that he gives zero fucks what anyone else thinks. DD's relationship with him has NO bearing on such personal choices. If he were married to her she still would not be in control of what he can and cannot do with his own hair, nor should she consider his personal choices for himself to be to 'spite' her.

If he wants a buzz he should get a buzz. It's good that he has the confidence to after some friends have poopooed the style.

Mind your nose and tell DD to do the same!

I can't even with the misogyny angle - more reach than Mr Tickle 🙄

ZoeCM · 15/03/2026 13:41

ValidPistachio · 15/03/2026 13:33

An escalation from having a haircut? I’ve heard it all now.

Show quote history

I'm now imagining a dramatic voiceover on a Netflix documentary: "The situation escalated. After the haircut, he bought a new pair of boots." (dramatic music intensifies)

grumpygrape · 15/03/2026 13:41

BloodandGlitter · 15/03/2026 13:29

Means they shag every so often.

Show quote history

Feeling older and more out of touch now, I thought that was 'friends with benefits' but what do I know ? 🤣
Thanks for the explanation though. 😊

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 15/03/2026 13:40

This is the most insane OP I’ve read in a while, which is quite a feat.

Hankunamatata · 15/03/2026 13:39

Its his hair.

Coffeetimes3 · 15/03/2026 13:39

Ok so that reply makes it even weirder. You think your daughter's fella needs to look attractive to you?

BoogieTownTop · 15/03/2026 13:39

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 13:16

@RaspberryRipple3 I suppose I was thinking over the top, no I would never expect DD to keep a hairstyle she doesn’t like.

@Coffeetimes3 No he’s a really nice boy, but he looks much less attractive with a buzzcut than with his natural wavy hair.

Your opinion is he looks a lot less attractive, maybe others prefer it?

ZoeCM · 15/03/2026 13:38

I'm absolutely staggered that anyone voted YANBU. Imagine if a middle-aged man speculated that a young woman was a spiteful, narcissistic man-hater because... she got a haircut after hearing men say they don't like women to have short hair. MN would have hung, drawn and quartered him by now.

WildLeader · 15/03/2026 13:38

Don’t like buzzcuts? Don’t get one.

my OH often tells me what nail varnish colours he prefers. Every single time, I tell him he can choose which ever colour he likes for his own nails, I’m happy with the choices I make for my manicures.

HoppingPavlova · 15/03/2026 13:38

and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently

well, surely this answers it. If there is an increase in such a haircut, it would tend to indicate it is a popular/trendy style at present. So, he got a haircut, and it happens to be a popular/trendy style, which you yourself have pointed out. What’s narcissistic is thinking your daughter is front and centre when it comes to why people do things. 99.99% of guys would tune out completely when women start to go on about hair, so maybe he didn’t even ‘hear’ them but went with what the barber/hairdresser said is good going at present.

ETA - I have adult kids, and I can’t imagine giving this a second thought, let alone putting it on an internet forum. You seem very invested in the minutia of their lives, maybe hobbies or a Netflix addiction would be the go?

BoogieTownTop · 15/03/2026 13:37

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 12:59

@WonderingWanda they we’re not casting judgement, they were just mentioning their preferences, which is a normal thing to have.

When a man tells his girlfriend his preferences on how her hair should be, it’s a red flag…if she then gets her hair cut how she likes it, which is not his preference!

Calling her narcissistic for this, is also a red flag!

So is this!

WildLeader · 15/03/2026 13:35

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 12:59

@WonderingWanda they we’re not casting judgement, they were just mentioning their preferences, which is a normal thing to have.

And if a bloke was “just expressing his preferences” it would still be manipulative and controlling.

your/your dd opinion of how a guy wants his hair is utterly irrelevant

Lambington · 15/03/2026 13:35

What is a "situationship"?

HornyHornersPinkyWinky · 15/03/2026 13:33

Definitely possible. Keep an eye on him for escalation OP.

What, like if he trims his eyebrows? Is that a subliminal message that he’s a dickhead?

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