Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think DD’s ‘friend’ got a buzz cut to spite her?

288 replies

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 12:53

My 22 year old DD has a male ‘friend’ who she has been on and off in a situationship with for a few months, they were friends before that.
On Wednesday she had a few girlfriends over as well as him and were just randomly discussing hairstyles. All the girls including DD mentioned they don’t like buzz cuts and then that was that. Yesterday, he came over to pick up DD to go out and he had been to the barbers and had a buzz cut! Only 3 days after he heard that DD and the other girls mentioned they don’t like them, he got one. I thought it was weird. He had really attractive blond wavy hair and he got rid of it for what?

AIBU to think this was quite narcissistic and he wanted to spite her, could be a bit of a stretch but perhaps even slightly misogynistic. Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently.

Am I thinking too much into it or was he being spiteful? It’s just really irked me!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 15/03/2026 15:41

It’s his hair. It’s completely his choice what he chooses to do with this. What an odd response to a hair cut OP.

JustSawJohnny · 15/03/2026 15:41

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 15:34

OK I admit narcissistic and misogynistic was probably a stretch. I still can’t connect the dots together on how his male brain could think that a buzz cut after hearing negative opinions would be the right move and how his new haircut is better than the old one? Oh well each to their own.
I’m quite protective over my children and I find it hard not to get involved. I just want DD to have a boy who respects her.

Again with the weird, self-entitled logic.

Why the actual fuck would ANYONE change their plans for a haircut due to the UTTERLY IRRELEVANT opinion of friends?

Do you swing by for a chat with the girls before going to the salon?!

No, you don't!

THIS. BOY. HAS. NOT. DISRESPECTED. YOUR. DAUGHTER. IN. ANY. WAY. BY. HAVING. AGENCY. OVER. HIS. OWN. HAIR!!

Get a fucking GRIP!

The more we hear, the more I hope this lad swerves your DD going forward.

I would hate my son to be with someone so entitled or with a family backing their batshittery!

Blueunicornthistle · 15/03/2026 15:41

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 15:34

OK I admit narcissistic and misogynistic was probably a stretch. I still can’t connect the dots together on how his male brain could think that a buzz cut after hearing negative opinions would be the right move and how his new haircut is better than the old one? Oh well each to their own.
I’m quite protective over my children and I find it hard not to get involved. I just want DD to have a boy who respects her.

Right back at you.

I’d really like my DS’s girlfriend and her Mum to respect my DS. To understand that he is an entirely independent person who can make decisions that they disagree with.

Respect for your DD extends to accepting her personal autonomy, it doesn’t mean the boy has to hand over his own.

Your opinion on this is wild. I’d be advising my DS to run a mile.

Do your father and husband just do everything you and your mother tell them to? Because that’s really unhealthy.

YourShyLion · 15/03/2026 15:40

Definitely not what narcissistic means so whatever it is it's not that.

youalright · 15/03/2026 15:38

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 15/03/2026 13:01

Is your adult daughter telling you about these chats? I'd zone out in seconds, just say that's nice darling.

Man has haircut.

I have teenage daughters and the amount of time i spend zoned out is unbelievable. I can't be arsed with the petty drama as an adult im surprised op dd is 22 i live in hope that my girls grow out their drama queen phase well before this.

Atatwalker · 15/03/2026 15:38

RainbowBagels · 15/03/2026 15:37

Maybe his mother would like people to respect him too, and would not take kindly to the mother of some girl he's not even in a relationship with complaining about his haircut and calling him a narcissist!

You said it so much better than me.

Atatwalker · 15/03/2026 15:37

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 15:34

OK I admit narcissistic and misogynistic was probably a stretch. I still can’t connect the dots together on how his male brain could think that a buzz cut after hearing negative opinions would be the right move and how his new haircut is better than the old one? Oh well each to their own.
I’m quite protective over my children and I find it hard not to get involved. I just want DD to have a boy who respects her.

How dare they try to tell him what to do with his hair!

RainbowBagels · 15/03/2026 15:37

Maybe his mother would like people to respect him too, and would not take kindly to the mother of some girl he's not even in a relationship with complaining about his haircut and calling him a narcissist!

ChristmaslightsuptilJanuary · 15/03/2026 15:36

If she doesn’t like his hair then presumably she can just not shag him again?

Original poster
RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 15:34

OK I admit narcissistic and misogynistic was probably a stretch. I still can’t connect the dots together on how his male brain could think that a buzz cut after hearing negative opinions would be the right move and how his new haircut is better than the old one? Oh well each to their own.
I’m quite protective over my children and I find it hard not to get involved. I just want DD to have a boy who respects her.

OP posts:
ErlingHaalandsManBun · 15/03/2026 15:28

My DD is 20 and her boyfriend regularly gets buzz cuts even though he knows she is not a massive fan of them and prefers his hair longer. When he turns up with one she just rolls her eyes and laughs. No big issue. She is not the boss of him and doesn't get to decide how he has his hair. He doesn't do it to spite her.

Similarly, my DD will sometimes get longer nails instead of shorter ones knowing that he prefers her nails shorter. She knows he prefers them to be shorter but they are her nails so she gets what she wants.

I think you are overthinking this, but to be honest, I am surprised you are thinking about it at all. I'm not sure why you care.

Tacohill · 15/03/2026 15:28

It’s likely that he said he was getting his haircut and wanted a buzz cut, which is why they were all discussing it.

Good on him for getting what he likes and not worrying about what others think.

Its sounds as though you teach your DD to do things only if everyone else likes it.

Your DD sounds like she’s got main character syndrome.
And you’re way too invested in your DDs and her friends lives.
Cut the apron strings.

Frostynoman · 15/03/2026 15:22

What’s the back story with them?

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/03/2026 15:21

BloodandGlitter · 15/03/2026 13:29

Means they shag every so often.

Show quote history

Like FWB?

YouDriveMeCrazyButICanDoThatMyself · 15/03/2026 15:21

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 13:07

@TittyGajillions exactly. He heard them say they don’t like them and he thought “ok I’ll get a buzz cut”

My daughter is not controlling she hasn’t even mentioned it. I heard them talking Wednesday whilst washing up and then noticed it yesterday.

The impulsivity of youth.

When I was almost 16 I had a slightly older boyfriend that said he didn’t like tattoos.
I went out and got one that weekend! 🤷🏼‍♀️

ChinaPlates · 15/03/2026 15:20

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 15/03/2026 13:01

Is your adult daughter telling you about these chats? I'd zone out in seconds, just say that's nice darling.

Man has haircut.

Totally.

ScholesPanda · 15/03/2026 15:18

Misogynistic hair cuts.

Just when I thought the world couldn't get more batshit.

SouthLondonMum22 · 15/03/2026 15:17

sundaysurfing · 15/03/2026 13:33

Just to add, I like to make sure I’m attractive to my partner if there is a particular hairstyle that he likes I would wear that for him because I like to make him happy and I love that he finds me attractive. So it is weird that he would do the opposite. Maybe he’s not really into her. That is what I would assume.

I've never had my hair in a certain way for a man. I have my hair how I prefer it because it is my hair.

That isn't weird at all.

AnnieLummox · 15/03/2026 15:07

Passaggressfedup · 15/03/2026 13:28

they we’re not casting judgement, they were just mentioning their preferences, which is a normal thing to have
Most likely scenario was that he mentioned getting one, your DD said she didn't like it, looked for her girlfriends to agree with her, and he said too bad, it's what I want so I'm getting one.

I can't believe you are getting involved in a judgemental way 😒

This is almost certainly what happened. And it’s really quite disturbing that you’ve decided that a man cutting HIS hair is some kind of misogynistic “revenge”. Who the hell cuts their hair to annoy someone else?

RawBloomers · 15/03/2026 15:03

Unless he has form for being a dick, I think jumping to an assumption it was spiteful is very unjustified.

It’s more likely that he heard them talking about buzz cuts and it made him think about how nice and easy it would be to have one, or how much he liked the look of them rather than “O yeah! I could get a buzz cut to piss off a friend I shag sometimes. Great idea.”

Given their relationship, it seems unlikely that he would be making many decisions about his hair based on what your DD likes or doesn’t like.

DinoLil · 15/03/2026 15:00

What @WonderingWanda said.

RainbowBagels · 15/03/2026 14:58

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 13:07

@TittyGajillions exactly. He heard them say they don’t like them and he thought “ok I’ll get a buzz cut”

My daughter is not controlling she hasn’t even mentioned it. I heard them talking Wednesday whilst washing up and then noticed it yesterday.

So? It's nothing to do with him if she doesn't like buzz cuts. He can do his own hair how he likes. I'd be telling my DS to stay away from anyone who thought they could dictate what he did with his own hair ( and their mother)

ThatCyanCat · 15/03/2026 14:56

Quokka99 · 15/03/2026 14:10

Maybe he's a secret agent and had to get it done for his lastest undercover assignment.

OP blew his cover. This thread will self destruct in 5, 4, 3...

ThatCyanCat · 15/03/2026 14:55

Attention, oversensitive, angry MRA male users who think everything on here is unfair against men and that's the sole reason you signed up (if that's not you, I'm not addressing you)...

Ok, you can have this one. It's bonkers. But bear in mind that it's getting a resounding "wtf" reaction.

grumpygrape · 15/03/2026 14:50

x2boys · 15/03/2026 14:02

Now im more confused 😕

Show quote history

Me too, and sad 🙁

Swipe left for the next trending thread