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Original poster

AIBU to think DD’s ‘friend’ got a buzz cut to spite her?

288 replies

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 12:53

My 22 year old DD has a male ‘friend’ who she has been on and off in a situationship with for a few months, they were friends before that.
On Wednesday she had a few girlfriends over as well as him and were just randomly discussing hairstyles. All the girls including DD mentioned they don’t like buzz cuts and then that was that. Yesterday, he came over to pick up DD to go out and he had been to the barbers and had a buzz cut! Only 3 days after he heard that DD and the other girls mentioned they don’t like them, he got one. I thought it was weird. He had really attractive blond wavy hair and he got rid of it for what?

AIBU to think this was quite narcissistic and he wanted to spite her, could be a bit of a stretch but perhaps even slightly misogynistic. Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently.

Am I thinking too much into it or was he being spiteful? It’s just really irked me!

OP posts:
Laura95167 · 15/03/2026 17:32

His body his choice

sunsetsites · 15/03/2026 17:30

Hopefully this guy runs for the hills, psychotic MIL loading.

Imaginingdragonsagain · 15/03/2026 17:28

Are you not reading a bit much into a haircut? It’ll grow back. It’s not like he got a face tattoo. And it’s his choice, they’re not even boyfriend and girlfriend (and even if they were, it’s still up to him how he has his hair).

UncannyFanny · 15/03/2026 17:24

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 12:59

@WonderingWanda they we’re not casting judgement, they were just mentioning their preferences, which is a normal thing to have.

Just a quick question, if a woman did something with her hair that her male friends said a few days previously that they didn’t like, would your first thought be that she was being narcissistic or misandrist or that she did it to spite them?

Beachtastic · 15/03/2026 17:21

You could test his commitment to deliberately pissing her off by saying she doesn't fancy castrated men.

godmum56 · 15/03/2026 17:16

Op

  1. Keep out of it
  2. not your business
  3. why do you care?
missmollygreen · 15/03/2026 17:13

Well there is definitely one narcissist in this story, OP...

GardeningMummy · 15/03/2026 17:10

Mind your own business!!!!

PickledElectricity · 15/03/2026 17:05

I wouldn't be surprised if he did it to prove a point that she will still like/have him with a characteristic she's said she doesn't like. The timing is just extremely suspicious to me.

Gertle · 15/03/2026 17:04

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 15:34

OK I admit narcissistic and misogynistic was probably a stretch. I still can’t connect the dots together on how his male brain could think that a buzz cut after hearing negative opinions would be the right move and how his new haircut is better than the old one? Oh well each to their own.
I’m quite protective over my children and I find it hard not to get involved. I just want DD to have a boy who respects her.

I think you should try to imagine reading a post from a man whose DS and his friends kept going on about how awful short hair looks on women in front of the woman he’s shagging.

“I can’t understand how her female brain thought it was a good idea to get her hair cut after hearing how unattractive men find it.”

Even calling her a man hater and discussing how attractive she now is.

You surely get that would be really creepy and weird?

Also you know they’re not in a relationship right? You want your DD to have a boy who respects her but this boy is not “hers” to have. There’s no commitment there and he’s almost definitely shagging others too.

x2boys · 15/03/2026 17:04

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 15/03/2026 17:00

I'm surprised by some of these responses. If I said that I hated buzz cuts on men and my boyfriend (OK, sort of boyfriend) immediately got one, I would wonder what he was playing at. Yes, he can do what he likes with his hair, but I'd assume that the "situationship" was coming to an end.

Its not a boyfriend though or even a sort boyfriend
Essentially how would you.feel if you had an occasional hook up who told you they didnt like your hair and their mother got involved ?

RainbowBagels · 15/03/2026 17:00

PrismRain · 15/03/2026 16:32

Maybe he did it because you make him uncomfortable crowing on about his blond wavy hair and his attractiveness and he wanted to make himself less attractive to his friend’s creepy mother.

Good point!

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 15/03/2026 17:00

I'm surprised by some of these responses. If I said that I hated buzz cuts on men and my boyfriend (OK, sort of boyfriend) immediately got one, I would wonder what he was playing at. Yes, he can do what he likes with his hair, but I'd assume that the "situationship" was coming to an end.

Sunshineandoranges · 15/03/2026 16:57

Erm what is a situationship exactly?

BoogieTownTop · 15/03/2026 16:51

andthat · 15/03/2026 16:45

What a ridiculous post.

Buzz cut? Misogynistic? Heard it all now.

His head. His hair.

You’ve forgotten narcissistic!

SatsumaDog · 15/03/2026 16:48

It’s just a hair cut. If he likes it all good, if not it will grow back. That’s really all that matters since it’s his hair, his business.

Wildgoat · 15/03/2026 16:46

Oh op, do you not have friends or a job or something, you’re far too over invested and over thinking, the lad can gef any hair cut he likes and your view on how attractive he is is irrelevant.

ghis is really quite disturbing.

andthat · 15/03/2026 16:45

What a ridiculous post.

Buzz cut? Misogynistic? Heard it all now.

His head. His hair.

Creu · 15/03/2026 16:44

PrismRain · 15/03/2026 16:32

Maybe he did it because you make him uncomfortable crowing on about his blond wavy hair and his attractiveness and he wanted to make himself less attractive to his friend’s creepy mother.

That made me think of the Netflix documentary ‘Unknown number - the High School Catfish’ 🤣

Charliede1182 · 15/03/2026 16:36

Maybe he just had nits.

Either way it's his head, his business.

BinsinBonson · 15/03/2026 16:34

This took me back! As a teenager and young adult, it seemed like boyfriends and male friends simply couldn’t resist shaving their hair at some point or other. It seemed a shame to me who wasn’t a fan, but it was pretty clear they were experimenting with identity and styles rather than doing it out of spite. Nor did it occur to me that they shouldn’t do what they liked with their own hair.

I find it strange that you’ve taken such a negative and extreme view of what is very normal behaviour.

BoogieTownTop · 15/03/2026 16:34

PrismRain · 15/03/2026 16:32

Maybe he did it because you make him uncomfortable crowing on about his blond wavy hair and his attractiveness and he wanted to make himself less attractive to his friend’s creepy mother.

Exactly! Imagine the middle aged father going on about his DSs girlfriends long wavy hair 🤮.

PrismRain · 15/03/2026 16:32

Maybe he did it because you make him uncomfortable crowing on about his blond wavy hair and his attractiveness and he wanted to make himself less attractive to his friend’s creepy mother.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 15/03/2026 16:26

2026newname · 15/03/2026 13:20

The fact you’ve posted this is utterly baffling!

Ding ding. I was just thinking how glad I was that my mum never knew if I was in a “situationship” with a friend. It would have been mortifying for everyone involved and some of those gents (and ladies) have remained good friends to me. Your mum doesn’t look twice at one of your male friends getting a buzz cut, even if all the girls say they dislike them, whereas if she thinks you’re in a situationship, then all of it becomes like this. No. Mums don’t need to know everything.

everybodyscreeaamm · 15/03/2026 16:20

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 15:34

OK I admit narcissistic and misogynistic was probably a stretch. I still can’t connect the dots together on how his male brain could think that a buzz cut after hearing negative opinions would be the right move and how his new haircut is better than the old one? Oh well each to their own.
I’m quite protective over my children and I find it hard not to get involved. I just want DD to have a boy who respects her.

A boy who respects her doesn't mean a boy who only does what she wants.
I imagine you'd be quite unhappy if your daughter wanted a particular haircut and he was adamant that she shouldn't go ahead with it because women shouldn't have such a haircut...