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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think DD’s ‘friend’ got a buzz cut to spite her?

288 replies

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 12:53

My 22 year old DD has a male ‘friend’ who she has been on and off in a situationship with for a few months, they were friends before that.
On Wednesday she had a few girlfriends over as well as him and were just randomly discussing hairstyles. All the girls including DD mentioned they don’t like buzz cuts and then that was that. Yesterday, he came over to pick up DD to go out and he had been to the barbers and had a buzz cut! Only 3 days after he heard that DD and the other girls mentioned they don’t like them, he got one. I thought it was weird. He had really attractive blond wavy hair and he got rid of it for what?

AIBU to think this was quite narcissistic and he wanted to spite her, could be a bit of a stretch but perhaps even slightly misogynistic. Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently.

Am I thinking too much into it or was he being spiteful? It’s just really irked me!

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 17/03/2026 12:43

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 18:03

I know people are thinking I’ve got involved, I haven’t. I haven’t said anything to her, these are just my thoughts.

I was just a bit concerned that he was turning into the type to disregard women’s opinions and I want her to have a boyfriend who respects her and her friendships and values her (and women’s) views.

However it’s probably me looking into it too much so I’ll let it go.

But, he’s not her boyfriend! He’s entitled to his own opinion about his own hair.

bridgetreilly · 17/03/2026 12:42

You sound absolutely bonkers.

LyssaMoon · 17/03/2026 12:40

Funny enough.... It's not the boy that is coming across as Narcissistic here!!

MyMiniMetro · 17/03/2026 12:13

Any chance he wasn’t paying full attention and he thought they were talking about how much they LOVE buzz cuts?

I mean, a twenty-something lad not listening properly it’s hardly unheard of 😄

x2boys · 17/03/2026 11:09

Squirrel60 · 17/03/2026 09:26

As a woman saying this, I understand that your daughter/friends don't like buzz cuts. We all have our likes and dislikes, I actually like them,

Sinéad O'Connor, Tom Hardy, to name but 2.

But it's your daughter's partner's body, not yours. He might well have had the cut done out of spite, or women-hating or whatever, or he could have just done it to have a laugh with them; either way, his hair will grow back if he chooses it to.

Some hairstyles are absolutely hideous, but it's their heads, not mine, so I won't be moaning about them.

Buzz cuts are tidy and neat.

The personality of the partner and how he treats your daughter is far more important than his hairstyle.

I really don't understand how it's any of your business!

He's not actually her daughters partner .

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 17/03/2026 09:49

I think he did it to send a message to the daughter. The message was "Your mum's creepy and obsessed with my hair. If I cut it all off hopefully she'll calm down and stop being so weird."

Squirrel60 · 17/03/2026 09:28

QueenElle, good on your son!

Squirrel60 · 17/03/2026 09:26

As a woman saying this, I understand that your daughter/friends don't like buzz cuts. We all have our likes and dislikes, I actually like them,

Sinéad O'Connor, Tom Hardy, to name but 2.

But it's your daughter's partner's body, not yours. He might well have had the cut done out of spite, or women-hating or whatever, or he could have just done it to have a laugh with them; either way, his hair will grow back if he chooses it to.

Some hairstyles are absolutely hideous, but it's their heads, not mine, so I won't be moaning about them.

Buzz cuts are tidy and neat.

The personality of the partner and how he treats your daughter is far more important than his hairstyle.

I really don't understand how it's any of your business!

QueenElle · 17/03/2026 08:40

My son wanted a buzz cut and his then girlfriend had a real issue with it. It even got to the point where she said she would finish with him if he got one. He dumped her. He said there was no way he was going out with someone who thought so little of him as a person that a haircut would make her end it. He didn’t ever get the buzz cut.

He was 13 at the time by the way 😂

Swiftie1878 · 17/03/2026 08:12

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 13:16

@RaspberryRipple3 I suppose I was thinking over the top, no I would never expect DD to keep a hairstyle she doesn’t like.

@Coffeetimes3 No he’s a really nice boy, but he looks much less attractive with a buzzcut than with his natural wavy hair.

Have you heard yourself?!
If you were the father of a son, and commenting on his GF’s new hairstyle after he’d expressed a preference against it…

Back off. You are too invested in things that are none of your business.

BMW6 · 17/03/2026 08:12

I think this is the weirdest AIBU that I've ever seen!

What. The. Fuck?????????

Dogmum74 · 17/03/2026 08:05

Maybe it is none of your DDs business what hair HE has and he did it because he thinks her and her friends are all a bunch of airhead Barbie’s?

babyt2020 · 17/03/2026 07:17

This is such a weird post?!?! He can do whatever the hell he wants with HIS OWN HEAD! Flip the situation and would you be saying a woman should have her hair a certain way to please men???? Hell no!!!! God I despair I really do

HAPPILYMARRIEDSINCE2012 · 17/03/2026 07:02

BauhausOfEliott · 15/03/2026 18:09

He’s completely entitled to disregard women’s opinions when they’re about his own fucking haircut!

Show quote history

This

ByUniqueViper · 17/03/2026 06:52

Maybe he did get his hair cut to show your DD and her pals that he will be his own person. They're not even in a relationship.
Your reaction is unjustified and actually its none of your business what he does with his hair.

BlueJuniper94 · 17/03/2026 06:38

I think you should gently discourage your daughter from having loveless sex

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 17/03/2026 06:34

Why the fuck does he have to gave a haircut your kid approves of vs one he wants? And why is it any of your business?

Aphroditesangel · 17/03/2026 06:17

My DS (21) and a lot of his uni friends have all had buzz cuts. I think it’s just a trend.
‘Your DD is a friend with benefits’ - I can’t see why he would let her likes/ dislikes influence his appearance .
I think it’s a stretch to read anything like misogyny into how a man chooses to cut his hair!

nam3c4ang3 · 16/03/2026 23:37

Ffs find a god damn hobby op.

ResponsiblePopcorn · 16/03/2026 23:36

Good for him for not giving into the female gaze.

I see it as a positive. The guy can do whatever the hell he wants.

fatphalange · 16/03/2026 23:22

Maybe he doesn’t want you and your daughter to keep obsessing over him 😂

AlexisAlexis · 16/03/2026 23:08

Did you read this back before you posted it?! Insane.

PollyBell · 16/03/2026 22:47

hypnovic · 16/03/2026 22:41

He's making himself intentionally unattractive as he wants her to dump him so he he doesnt have to dump her,i went goth to get rid of a byf once lol it didn't work he cried n my mum had to get rid for me

I wonder if anyone on here can think of a reason the BF may what to get rid? hmmmm

Noglitterallowed · 16/03/2026 22:45

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 12:53

My 22 year old DD has a male ‘friend’ who she has been on and off in a situationship with for a few months, they were friends before that.
On Wednesday she had a few girlfriends over as well as him and were just randomly discussing hairstyles. All the girls including DD mentioned they don’t like buzz cuts and then that was that. Yesterday, he came over to pick up DD to go out and he had been to the barbers and had a buzz cut! Only 3 days after he heard that DD and the other girls mentioned they don’t like them, he got one. I thought it was weird. He had really attractive blond wavy hair and he got rid of it for what?

AIBU to think this was quite narcissistic and he wanted to spite her, could be a bit of a stretch but perhaps even slightly misogynistic. Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently.

Am I thinking too much into it or was he being spiteful? It’s just really irked me!

Man gets haircut and the mum of a woman
hes sleeping with now thinks he’s a narcissist because her precious doesn’t like
that style. All because she was listening in to a
conversation while just washing up
and minding her own business 😂🤦‍♀️what im
the name of all things is this!!!

hypnovic · 16/03/2026 22:41

He's making himself intentionally unattractive as he wants her to dump him so he he doesnt have to dump her,i went goth to get rid of a byf once lol it didn't work he cried n my mum had to get rid for me