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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think DD’s ‘friend’ got a buzz cut to spite her?

288 replies

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 12:53

My 22 year old DD has a male ‘friend’ who she has been on and off in a situationship with for a few months, they were friends before that.
On Wednesday she had a few girlfriends over as well as him and were just randomly discussing hairstyles. All the girls including DD mentioned they don’t like buzz cuts and then that was that. Yesterday, he came over to pick up DD to go out and he had been to the barbers and had a buzz cut! Only 3 days after he heard that DD and the other girls mentioned they don’t like them, he got one. I thought it was weird. He had really attractive blond wavy hair and he got rid of it for what?

AIBU to think this was quite narcissistic and he wanted to spite her, could be a bit of a stretch but perhaps even slightly misogynistic. Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently.

Am I thinking too much into it or was he being spiteful? It’s just really irked me!

OP posts:
MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 15/03/2026 13:17

CurlsLDN · 15/03/2026 13:06

If a group of men sat around you talking about how they don’t like women wearing trousers, would you be tempted to proudly wear (and rock) trousers next time you saw them?

I expect he’s tired of their judgement

Exactly.

Original poster
RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 13:16

@RaspberryRipple3 I suppose I was thinking over the top, no I would never expect DD to keep a hairstyle she doesn’t like.

@Coffeetimes3 No he’s a really nice boy, but he looks much less attractive with a buzzcut than with his natural wavy hair.

OP posts:
NotThatSerious · 15/03/2026 13:16

WonderingWanda · 15/03/2026 12:56

Why would it be spiteful? Perhaps he was pissed off sat in a room full of women casting judgement on men based on appearance. I mean, I sat with a group of men judging womens hair styles I might want to give them a little fuck you too!

Exactly

PropitiousJump · 15/03/2026 13:16

If your DD thinks he's done it deliberately to annoy her, or simply doesn't fancy him any more with that hair cut, then she's free to end the 'situationship' and 'friendzone' him (if that's the right trendy word to match 'situationship').

No one is obliged to continue in a relationship they're unhappy with, or to style their hair in a way that pleases others.

deveronvalley · 15/03/2026 13:15

My first thought was ‘good for him!’ Presumably he thought they were talking shit and decided on this as his response. It’s pretty funny! I don’t see narcissism or misogyny in it.

OverTheWater28 · 15/03/2026 13:15

This is an insane amount of reaching. Personally I think it’s more narcissistic to think your daughter’s opinion on buzz cuts influenced his decision. Bit of “main character syndrome”…

anddeepbreathandsigh · 15/03/2026 13:12

What an odd post. Let him do what he wants without commenting fgs

Coffeetimes3 · 15/03/2026 13:12

This is madness.

I presume you're pissed off with him for some reason? Does your daughter want more than a situation ship, is this what it's about? If so you're losing your ability to think about this logically and need to take a massive step back.

RaspberryRipple3 · 15/03/2026 13:11

“Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently”.

Are you saying that men in general are getting buzz cuts deliberately because women don’t like them???? You sound paranoid. Also, buzz cuts have been a thing for as long as I can remember, plus plenty of women think buzz cuts look great on men. Do you honestly think your dd and her friends speak for all women when they turn their noses up at buzz cuts? Honestly, your OP is very odd.

As for the man involved…he can have his hair any way he wants. Do you really think he should have kept his hair styled in a way he didn’t want any more just because your dd expressed a preference? If your dd decided she wanted to cut her hair short/grow it long/dye it pink etc and he and his mates said they didn’t like women with short/long/pink hair then you think your dd should listen to them and only have a male approved hairstyle?

Whataridiculousdog · 15/03/2026 13:11

Is this a reverse ?

TeaAndTattoos · 15/03/2026 13:10

It’s his hair he’s allowed to have whatever haircut he feels like without being called narcissistic and misogynistic for getting it done.

CoralOP · 15/03/2026 13:10

.....back away from your daughter and her friends....

NewYearNewMee · 15/03/2026 13:09

This is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages, thankyou OP 😂

No, of course he didn’t. That’s such a silly thought!

newornotnew · 15/03/2026 13:09

Why can't someone get any haircut they want, any time they want?

Why do you even care?

Aquarius91 · 15/03/2026 13:08

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 13:07

@TittyGajillions exactly. He heard them say they don’t like them and he thought “ok I’ll get a buzz cut”

My daughter is not controlling she hasn’t even mentioned it. I heard them talking Wednesday whilst washing up and then noticed it yesterday.

But they aren’t even together?? I’m gobsmacked that you’ve posted this on mumsnet 😂

ValidPistachio · 15/03/2026 13:08

Narcissistic? Mysoginist? Don’t talk rubbish.

outerspacepotato · 15/03/2026 13:07

Summer is coming.

Maybe he just wants his hair short for warm weather. Maybe buzz cuts are stylish in his friends group. Maybe he just doesn't want to mess with it for a while.

I don't think that getting a cut is indicative of narcissism though. That seems like a reach.

Original poster
RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 13:07

@TittyGajillions exactly. He heard them say they don’t like them and he thought “ok I’ll get a buzz cut”

My daughter is not controlling she hasn’t even mentioned it. I heard them talking Wednesday whilst washing up and then noticed it yesterday.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/03/2026 13:07

He doesn't owe her pretty hair.

Aquarius91 · 15/03/2026 13:07

What the fucks it got to do with you?

absolutely weird take tbh.

CurlsLDN · 15/03/2026 13:06

If a group of men sat around you talking about how they don’t like women wearing trousers, would you be tempted to proudly wear (and rock) trousers next time you saw them?

I expect he’s tired of their judgement

Blueunicornthistle · 15/03/2026 13:06

I have a friend who had gorgeous, glossy, naturally curly hair. Her boyfriend told her if she ever cut her hair he’d leave her.

So she cut her hair. Got a buzz cut. Looked fabulous (wonderful cheekbones).

He left her.

Do you think my friend was a narcissist OP?

TittyGajillions · 15/03/2026 13:05

Some males often do try to put down things women like

But they don't like them, make it make sense.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 15/03/2026 13:04

I think either: he doesn't like your dd for anything more than sex, and was making a point

Or: he wants to let her know he's not to be manipulated before he starts up a relationship.

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I think that it isnt a big deal though and he is not narcissistic omg.

I think stay out of it and keep on being nice to the young man

RaininSummer · 15/03/2026 13:03

Maybe he just liked the idea or maybe he wanted to indicate to them that he actually doesn't care what they think of his hair.