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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think DD’s ‘friend’ got a buzz cut to spite her?

288 replies

RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 12:53

My 22 year old DD has a male ‘friend’ who she has been on and off in a situationship with for a few months, they were friends before that.
On Wednesday she had a few girlfriends over as well as him and were just randomly discussing hairstyles. All the girls including DD mentioned they don’t like buzz cuts and then that was that. Yesterday, he came over to pick up DD to go out and he had been to the barbers and had a buzz cut! Only 3 days after he heard that DD and the other girls mentioned they don’t like them, he got one. I thought it was weird. He had really attractive blond wavy hair and he got rid of it for what?

AIBU to think this was quite narcissistic and he wanted to spite her, could be a bit of a stretch but perhaps even slightly misogynistic. Some males often do try to put down things women like and I’ve seen an increase in these buzz cuts recently.

Am I thinking too much into it or was he being spiteful? It’s just really irked me!

OP posts:
ValidPistachio · 15/03/2026 13:33

Dreamcatcherat50 · 15/03/2026 13:31

Definitely possible. Keep an eye on him for escalation OP.

Ignore the nasty language from posters who are desperately upset that your daughter is in a casual relationship and you and she are fine with that.

'So he's shagging your DD on and off' 🙄

This site is full of women who deeply believe in marriage and tolerating misery. They don't/won't have sex and are very easily upset.

An escalation from having a haircut? I’ve heard it all now.

Ivyy · 15/03/2026 13:33

Sounds as though you liked his lovely blonde wavy locks a bit too much yourself op!

sundaysurfing · 15/03/2026 13:33

Just to add, I like to make sure I’m attractive to my partner if there is a particular hairstyle that he likes I would wear that for him because I like to make him happy and I love that he finds me attractive. So it is weird that he would do the opposite. Maybe he’s not really into her. That is what I would assume.

sundaysurfing · 15/03/2026 13:32

Sorry, but I think this is weird. If the conversation the girls were having was genuinely as you described and they weren’t as extreme to say they would dump a guy if he got a buzz cut - then yes, why would he do that? She should get one too to match him 😆 I would be genuinely interested to know why he did that and if you are with him in the near future, I would ask him myself, Just out of curiosity!

StudyinBlue · 15/03/2026 13:32

😂OMG! I don’t think you understand what narcissistic means and as for misogynistic ditto 😂

Dreamcatcherat50 · 15/03/2026 13:31

Definitely possible. Keep an eye on him for escalation OP.

Ignore the nasty language from posters who are desperately upset that your daughter is in a casual relationship and you and she are fine with that.

'So he's shagging your DD on and off' 🙄

This site is full of women who deeply believe in marriage and tolerating misery. They don't/won't have sex and are very easily upset.

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 15/03/2026 13:31

It's creepy to talk about the attractiveness of your daughter's friend.

Pinkgin00 · 15/03/2026 13:30

Firstly he can do what he wants with his hair and not care what anyone else thinks,and secondly they aren't even in a relationship, so again, why should it matter what her opinion is on his hair? It is weird that you are so invested in this "situationship"

BloodandGlitter · 15/03/2026 13:29

grumpygrape · 15/03/2026 13:28

I'm very old. Will someone please explain situationship to me 🤔

Means they shag every so often.

Passaggressfedup · 15/03/2026 13:28

they we’re not casting judgement, they were just mentioning their preferences, which is a normal thing to have
Most likely scenario was that he mentioned getting one, your DD said she didn't like it, looked for her girlfriends to agree with her, and he said too bad, it's what I want so I'm getting one.

I can't believe you are getting involved in a judgemental way 😒

grumpygrape · 15/03/2026 13:28

I'm very old. Will someone please explain situationship to me 🤔

Original poster
RedBear685 · 15/03/2026 13:27

@LogieBird I wasn’t hanging out with her and her friends. I was washing up and they were sitting around the island in the kitchen having snacks.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 15/03/2026 13:27

Surely 80% of all men have this haircut?

man gets standard man haircut.

Dontcallmescarface · 15/03/2026 13:27

Maybe he did it because he doesn't want anything more than friendship now and your DD wasn't getting the hint.

TheSlantedOwl · 15/03/2026 13:27

It does sound possibly he did it to send a message: I do what I like, your preferences don’t influence me etc.

CinnamonBuns67 · 15/03/2026 13:26

So he's spiteful, narcissistic and a misogynist because he got a haircut that your DD doesn't like instead of his "attractive blonde wavy hair"? He is allowed to alter his appearance in a way that your DD dislikes. Would you say she's spiteful, narcissistic and a misandrist if she altered her appearance in a way he or another man didn't like? Didn't think so

StephensLass1977 · 15/03/2026 13:25

Spiteful in what way? I don't understand. His hair is nothing to do with anyone but him. Least of all your daughter.

Also, you're using the word "spite" in the wrong context. Spite would mean if she wanted to get it, and wasn't able to for some reason, and he got one to spite her. Which would still make it none of anyone's business.

BillieWiper · 15/03/2026 13:25

I would say it's quite narcissistic to assume that a young man would only ever choose to get a haircut in order to spite your daughter. And that it was his duty to have a haircut she found personally attractive.

PeopleLikeColdplayYouCantTrustPeopleJez · 15/03/2026 13:24

Did you pull a muscle from all the reaching?

LogieBird · 15/03/2026 13:23

This is weird and creepy.

You shouldn't be so involved or know the "situationship" status and be watching their interactions this closely.

I assume you are picking up this information as DD is living at home, maybe set some boundaries so you can both have some privacy?

Eg she has her friends in her room unless otherwise discussed, house communal space isn't for a group of her friends hanging out and chatting.

You keep your social space and leave her to hers.

You shouldn't be eavesdropping on conversations or trying to be a cool mum hanging out with her friends.

aBuffetofunreasonableness · 15/03/2026 13:22

he looks much less attractive

Imagine if this was someone's father writing about his attraction level to his adult kids friend.

The man must have chosen a haircut he wanted, rather than based on fuckability, which is good.

2026newname · 15/03/2026 13:20

The fact you’ve posted this is utterly baffling!

Terfedout · 15/03/2026 13:20

Seriously get a grip. What an utterly bizarre thing to post.

socks1107 · 15/03/2026 13:18

If this were the other way round I can imagine the replies. He had a hair cut that he wanted. That’s all it is

YerMotherWasAHamster · 15/03/2026 13:18

Maybe they weren't a factor in his decision.
Perhaps what they think isn't important to him.
Maybe hearing buzz cut repeatedly made him think he quite fancied one.

Or yes, maybe he did a bizarre fuck you via his hair.
I shaved my head, that'll show them.