4 children, no happy Mother’s Day

This is what you need to do OP. It's your job to raise considerate, pleasant, thoughtful children. Otherwise the pattern just repeats itself in adulthood and they make awful life partners.

Talk to them.

Stop being a martyr and tell them. You are setting them and yourself up for failure and upset. Let them know you are disappointed and let them fix it this year. Then next year it'll be better. If you do nothing then it'll be the same next year OR they'll feel awful but too late to fix it.

Did you not get crafts from school from the younger two? I got school crafts from my 5 and 7 year olds, but I'm not sure when that stops.

I have three children. My youngest has made a beautiful homemade card at school and the other two have signed a card bought by my husband along with a few gifts. My eldest is awkward and not very lovie dovie and I cant ever imagine him uttering the words "happy mother's day" let alone any proper fuss but I fully accept this. My expectations are such that i accept them all how they are and im not interested in forcing anything. At the end of the day they are all well rounded, decent kids and im grateful for that. I dont need any forced fuss because then it's just not genuine is it.

Tell them to get their own lunch and drinks. Go to a cafe and have a lovely peaceful lunch.

I have never run round my family like this and been at their beck and call. Mother’s Day or otherwise. I think you need to rethink your status in your family and how you assert yourself. You need some self-respect. Happy Mother’s Day to you.

I’d walk in the lounge and say “I’m going out for a few hours. You’ll have to sort your own food and drink. Just so you know, I’m really disappointed that’s it’s 1pm and no one has acknowledged Mothers Day. I think I deserve better. I’ll see you later.”

Then I’d go out for a walk, a sandwich, coffee and leave them to it for the afternoon.

If there’s no improvement when you get home, you have a husband problem as well as ungrateful kids. All they have to say is Happy Mothers Day and here’s a card. It’s a very small gesture.

Stop running around.

Say it's mother's day, you are not cooking.

Set your expectations with them.

I said during the week, its mother's day on Sunday, I'm not cooking .
Dh has been really busy but he can get a takeaway if he doesn't want to cook. I expect a day off. And he knows that.

What are you thinking OP? Turn off the wifi and leave the ungrateful sods to it and go buy yourself some cake!

‘Right it’s Mother’s Day and none of you have mentioned it or made any plans so I’m off out for a coffee and cake. Your dad’s in charge, I’m not cooking either so sort yourselves out. I expect all the school stuff and packed lunches down when I get back too.’

OP I would not be running round getting them drinks or lunch. I'd be out the door and down the nearest garden centre to get myself a present and probably lunch there as well.

They are all watching a film together in the lounge while I run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in

@bytheway9 I would go out somewhere and leave them to it. Selfish gits.

Why are you running round after them?
" Mum, where's lunch?"
" It's Mother's Day- you're getting it".

Therein lies your problem. “Get it yourself” would be my response.

I would leave it until tomorrow to raise the issue, because you never know if someone is going to surprise you.

if not, it is an issue that should be raised. If your children are adult, then with them. If they’re still young, then with their father.

rather than get into it in the heat of the moment - I waited til the following March. And sent this a few years back. It worked.

Whilst I have your attention….

It is the first of March.
In March every year is Mother’s Day. In Jan every year is my birthday.

Now that you are all 16 & over (can marry, join army etc! 😀) I want to lay out what I think are reasonable expectations on these 2 days.

I would like cards from you collectively or individually to arrive on or before said day from wherever you are in the world. Moonpig is your friend in this. Your phone and diarised advance reminders will also help you.

Anything else is above & beyond & thoughtfulness is what is of value not cost - but it is the thought and planning - as I do for your birthdays, Xmas and so on - that I think is a minimum requirement. Ideally again that should be given on the day in question. Sometimes of course things happen beyond our control but in general that’s something to aim for.

I think you all know the dimmunition in emotional value of something is handed over weeks later.

It should also be something you bring into your future significant relationships.

Last Mother’s Day I did not receive a card from one of you and it really really upset me. It’s not how you were raised. You all have of course given me many thoughtful beautiful cards and gifts loads of times over the years but last Mother’s Day was a bit of a low.
Lots & lots of love, Mum xxx

Get lunch ready & bring drinks in?! Seriously? You’re not their servant OP!

I would sit down with them and when they ask about lunch, say you’re having the day off so lunch is up to them.

Why are you doing this? Stop, sit down and say actually you all know it's mother's day so you lot go and make ME lunch and a cup of tea.

Stop allowing poor behaviour, yes it would be nice for them to do so on their own accord but they clearly won't so make them respect you, make them treat you properly, create these expectations within them until it is something they just do.

For goodness sake, instead of running around after them and posting on here, tell them that you are disappointed.. and you aren't there to serve them.

Then take yourself out for the day. Literally, leave and go and do something for yourself.

You are being a martyr. Just say, it is mother's day so when you get your own lunch, please get me something!
And mean it....
Your DH can step in if they are not able.
I don't know why women sit around all day being resentful....make the day about you! Take yourself off for coffee, cake and a bit of retail therapy if they are ignoring you.

Educate your children. Am a single mother so not expecting a man to get involved I let my 4 and 12 year old know that on Mother’s Day they appreciate their mother. The 12 year old made breakfast, has cooked lunch while the 4 year old has delivered to my bedroom.

Why are you waiting on?

It's not a hotel.

Why don’t you say it’s Mother’s Day I’m going for lunch. See to yourselves. Take yourself out even if it’s a sandwich in a park.