4 children, no happy Mother’s Day

What is your husband's take on it all? Why hasn't he stepped up and organised something? Did he get his own mother a card or gift?

That still doesn't answer the question why you are running around after them and not saying anything!

All of which is something her husband should have done. Why is it the woman’s job to teach children this? Both parents should be responsible for teaching children the importance of particular dates and how to show appreciation.

When it comes to Mother’s Day her husband should be the one taking the lead. Not her.

One year I lost my shit when not one had bought or made me a card, or brought me a cuppa or anything, and I laid it out VERY clearly.

"On Mother's Day I want, as a base line, a card and a bunch of daffodils. The Co-op is 300 yards away and sells both cards and daffs at 99p. If, between the 4 of you, you cannot manage 50p each and the 5 minutes to fetch them and write the card, I think you need to take a good, hard look at yourselves."

There was a lot of foot shuffling and ashamed looks but they've never ignored it again. And usually they're very thoughtful.

Speak up for yourself, @bytheway9 !

I don’t understand why you’re not saying anything. It’s game playing. Announce that its Mother’s Day, that they know that or should have remembered and ask them what are they going to do. Have you not talked about it with them, discussed what you would like as a gift or what you would like to do. It’s like you don’t want to get it sorted, have them apologise and have a nice day. Like you’d rather be a martyr. Bloody tell them you expect better.

What if you do teach it though, and one child does and one doesn't?

I kind of disagree. Forget relying on the DH. OP you need to start guiding the children while they are young. No good for today but might be useful for the future.

Give them some money to buy you flowers, card, chocolate or whatever it is that you want. Stand outside the shop while they go inside and make the purchases and bag them up. They can then 'surprise' you with it on the day.

Or provide them with craft items to sit down one afternoon and make you a card for the upcoming event. They can put it away and present it to you on the day. Or maybe get them ingredients to bake or cook something for you.

In time they'l come to realise how important it is to you and will hopefully remember and get on with it themselves.

Make sure they know the date in advance too.

Sorry but I feel appreciation sometimes has to be taught. It goes against the grain to say 'what about me'? But also if the kids are not taught to appreciate their parents how can they appreciate others in their adult world. I was laughing with one of my daughters today about at Pasta picture she made me a few years ago when she was 17! Yes it might seem like something a young child would have done but it took her HOURS and I really loved that she'd put that effort and thought into it. It's upstairs in the loft in my memory box. It remains one of my favourite ever gifts.

I agree, and the children are young, the dh needs to do it. I got asked by my oldest, "when is kids day?" I replied with the same sentence of years past, "It's kids day everyday." He still wasn't buying into it. I used to put so much effort in for my parents (because I wanted to), it is sad. Most of us only have expectations of a card and a hug, some acknowledgement and it isn't much to ask.

Op, I think you need to tell you dh, it's mother's day, you're doing this, and now you can make me a coffee.

Agree with others who say do nothing for Father’s Day. Don’t even mention it.

Sorry you’re being a martyr not mentioning it and running around like a servant. Tell them you’re heading out for a few hours for your own Mother’s Day treat and you’ll see them later.

go shopping, to the cinema, anything…

I’d be out of there off to do my own thing, phone off. Let them work it out. From really small the kids made a real fuss about it. Minimum requirement. Martydom serves no purpose that I can fathom.

Right. Take yourself off to a shop which you like and buy something fabulous for yourself. Take your time and have coffee and cake. Let them sort themselves out. And don’t you dare celebrate Fathers Day!

Stop skivvying around for a start. Put your coat and boots on, and go out for a walk. On the way, buy yourself some flowers, wine, a nice ready meal and chocolates. When you get home, take yourself up to your room and watch something on TV that you want to watch. If they ask what you're doing, tell them you are intending to enjoy Mother's Day.

Where is DH? Visiting his own Mum? Playing golf? Doing an 'outing' hobby?

Why don't you say something instead of stewing and being their maid?

Hey, did you guys forget it's Mother's Day?

Simple and clear.

Why the fuck are you running around waiting on them while they watch a film?

You get what you tolerate.

OP you are a lost cause if you think buying something for the home is a treat for you.

March into the lounge, commandeer the TV remote, switch to what you want to watch and say, I know you've been planning something special for me on Mother's Day so are we going out or are you all cooking? May I have my first glass of wine now?

Uniforms and lunch boxes will be ready before bedtime won't they?

Stop running round after them. Go into the sitting room and tell them as it’s Mother’s Day you are putting your feet up and it’s up to them and their dad ti run round after you today and cook all meals. So can one of them please get you a cup of tea

then when it’s Father’s Day you dothe same to your husband, no cards or presents

I don't understand. It's Mother's Day. Why do you serve them while being disappointed? You can't force them to spoil and appreciate you, but you can look after yourself and spoil and appreciate yourself. You should have just declared that it's Mother's Day, so they are in charge of cooking, while you are enjoying yourself. Do something nice today.

My younger child excitedly came running in to see me with his decorated card and cute gift chosen; melted my heart, had it marked on calander.
9 year old no card, no happy mother's day, despite dh asking him. He is AuADHD, but highly intelligent; I have no idea if this is to do with that, or a personality thing, but he has always been this way. He is awkward about his birthday, doesn't want anybody to say happy birthday, just likes a cake and quiet blowing out of candles etc, however excited when he gets the gift he wants more than anything in the world.
He doesn't want to do anything for other people's occasions at all. Dh thinks ds needs to learn to have some thought for others, I am unsure if this is something he can help though. I want him to do it because he wants to do it, or it would mean nothing anyway.

Agree with others op, don't bother for father's day. 💐

They’re children, they need prompting and organising by their dad but he hasn’t bothered. Father’s Day is on the 21st of June - looks like you can ignore it this year.

🤣🤣

I also have 4 children I don’t celebrate it so I don’t expect anything from them. I think nursery was the last time they made me something. I don’t get my mum anything either.

Yeah definitely this!

I hope you are able to take some time for yourself today