4 children, no happy Mother’s Day

Or maybe her husband should step up to organise something that is important to his wife. Why does he get to opt out of being a good husband and dad?

I never understand that attitude. It’s much better to have an honest conversation about expectations so that you get what you want and are happy. Not bothering with Father’s Day or whatever doesn’t solve the issue or make anyone happy. What a miserable way to live, game playing, not communicating, not having your needs and wants met by those closest to you.

With that attitude, DH would be left to fix lunch and drinks for the family as punishment for not marking Mothers Day. Honestly I wouldn't stand for this.
💐

Boys are equally as capable of remembering as girls!

I don’t really require either of mine to do anything but I have had very thoughtful presents from DS for other occasions such as a book on my favourite subject etc He got a bit of a pass because of being at camp because frankly having the time with just dd was lovely - but I didn’t send him to camp, he chose to go!

I understand your disappointment but why have you not actually SAID anything to them all?

Especially your DH?

I would speak to my DH by about 1pm
if I’d not seen any “actions”.

Don’t be a martyr. I’m a single parent to four, their father is dead. 1 at uni sent a card after forgetting last year, that’s the last time she’ll do that. Booked lunch out for me and youngest, cards and gifts before the eldest went to work and now youngest is cooking something in kitchen. I’ve had tea brought to me. This took time and effort of having very clear expectations that I deserve to be spoilt at some points in the year. Go out and leave them to it, I did this a few years ago when somebody could be bothered to get up and make me a cup of tea or organise dinner. I left for the day and they didn’t do it again.

Why are you allowing this?

Surely you say, DH, today is Mother’s Day so I’d appreciate you doing xyz whilst I watch a film with the children/ go for a walk/ whatever?

He also should have got them organised to get a card etc

I am running about a bit doing things this pm but I had a lovely walk with my eldest (17) and a film yesterday whilst my youngest (12) was at Scout camp. So I’ve sort of chosen to be doing the washing etc today. Had some lovely flowers from DD17 as well, and she’s done some gardening for me.

Now she’s doing her homework and DS12 is recovering from camp having done his on Friday evening in preparation for being tired today.

I’m a single parent to said teens though so have sort of chosen for this to be an afternoon with chores and yesterday not to be.

This evening’s dinner will be courtesy of Cook! Because I work full time in a stressful job and both deserve and can afford it!

God thats awful. Cards in shops from feb no excuse. Hope you ok op. Match their efforts going forward

Agreed but I do think it is true that children tend to treat other people how they have been taught to treat other people. If they have been spoilt and brought up to think the world revolves around them then why would they consider other people? Obviously, there is a balance as it isn’t good to treat children that they don’t count at all either.

Take yourself off to the cinema or something and leave them to it. I'd be so upset and cross

make sure you put the same amount of effort into Father’s Day.

I agree, so unnecessary, and then a post about how perfect her family are! 🤑

This. Other than the 5 year old, the others could have done something. But, other than that, enjoy your day and stop running round after them.

Tell them to get their own food!!

Exactly this.

Yes this.

Don't by shy OP. I see it as part of my job helping them grow up into considerate human beings- I insist they make an effort. For me that was to help me plant a rose and write a thoughtful note. You know what you'd want. Tell them, and insist they do it. And keep on insisting until they get it themselves.

And help them make an effort for Father's day too. Its a terrible lesson to go tit for tat on laziness.

Have you asked your husband why he is being an inconsiderate arse?

There is a happy medium isn’t there - pop in and say you are surprised you are still waiting for your cards but you are off for a bath and they can do them after that. You presume DH has sorted something for tea?

Let them crack on. Do not accept the role
of facilitator without reward. Raise that bar each year. Don’t let them grow up into selfish little things.

My Mother made such a fuss about Mother’s Day (we are NC now) that it means I am just happy to shape my own day without waiting on the perfect card or breakfast in bed. My 3 boys love me and that’s thanks enough.

This is the problem with the extreme child-centred parenting we see nowadays…we teach them the world revolves around them and no one else matters including their own parents, who do literally everything for them. Then we get upset when they show a complete inability to consider and appreciate other people.

"I run around doing everything for them as they call out for me to get lunch ready and bring drinks in"

Hopefully it's their idea of "high jinks" and they actually have planned something for later on @bytheway9 (never a good plan tbh)

BUY those cushions 🌻

It’s mad isn’t it!

I wouldn’t be doing any of that. I would have sat myself down, changed the channel to something I wanted to watch and said it’s Mother’s Day, I’m doing nothing and my programme choice!

What are you a fucking slave? Just walk out the door and go and treat yourself to a few hours off.

Nothing in that was meant to “mean well”!