AIBU to expect anything from my husband for my first mother's day?

Sorry to hear your partner didn't do anything to mark your first Mother's Day.

Tell him he can make up by doing something special for you this weekend instead.

Tbh, it sounds like he needs clear direct instructions given that he doesn't do anything for his own mother.

I would tell him exactly what you would like so that he knows for the future.

An electronic card would be pathetic if he had sent it and it is the weakest of the weak excuses for not doing anything.

Don't leave me hanging! What did he say, and what was your response?

I had an ex that did this TWO years in a row with my birthday. The first year, I did a low key card/gift for him. But the second year, I took the hint and did nothing. He was upset and accused me of tit for tat.

He didn't forget again though.

Rubbish.... Why can't men use their brains to work out how special a mums first mothers day is especially one that has been through IVF to get their little miracle! It's lazy, thoughtless behaviour at best! I wouldn't say LTB, but I would say don't put him on a pedestal and make celebrations nice for him!

This is what I did and he had the cheek to ask where his card was .

I got nothing for my first Mother’s Day . He was pissed off when people asked what I had for my first Mother’s Day ,I told them the truth - nothing . He said it made him look like a shit .

Sending you this belated bunches of flowers for Mother'Day.Hope you like them

💐💐💐💐💐
😻
Xxx

No, I am writing in context of what the op has written.
I am recovering from surgery at the moment and I have received nothing but care from my partner ( more than normal as I’ve been unwell so it’s proportionate to my needs). Of course her husband needs to be taking care of her every day but it does not seem to be happening. But acknowledging her first year of motherhood would have been lovely for her especially as she cites years of waiting to me a mother. So I wish her the very best and hope things get better for her. These days are special days to celebrate things.

Exactly. All these "he couldn't even let me have a lie-in and a nice bath on Mother's Day" posts are awful. Because they all mask a far bigger issue. Nobody should be waiting till one day in the year to do this basic stuff and then to use that one day of being decent as a get-out clause to do nice caring things for another 12 months.

No, YOUR bar is low. Tlc is a daily necessity for a new mum, any mum. Husband needs to get on this! One day a year to celebrate all that is special about motherhood? 'Time and effort at minimal cost' - absolute rubbish.

Kindly meant OP, he really doesn't sound great.
So be aware.
Mind yourself carefully and do not accept him being a total waster.
If you tolerate this life will just get worse, a lot worse.

I still find that weird. I never felt like mother's day was something I wanted to get a card on or anything until my actual children could contribute. I would have found it really cringy if DH had done anything for it when DC1 was still a baby.

Speak to him

He's clueless , sometimes even the kindest husbands/ partners get things wrong ...

She’s both a mother and a wife and above all human and deserves tlc. Why is your bar so low? A bunch of flowers, maybe a nice meal she doesn’t need to cook ( could even be a take away) and a lovely bath bomb so she could have that bath she wants. A bit of time and effort at minimal cost. Have you not been a first time mum and felt a bit overwhelmed and in need of tlc?

Of course she does! However, it is Mother's Day not Wife's Day.

Actually amazed that his own mum hasn’t mentioned
that he ought to make a bit of a fuss. Or that he hasn’t realised for himself (twat).

I live in London 😁
There's a lot of stuff I don't notice because to be honest I am just going about my day living in my thoughts.
I did realise eventually when I spotted a card display in Asda and googled the date.
But sometimes with shopping I am literally only interested in what I need to buy so I just zone in on that.
The card display was by the front entrance.
If I had come in through the back entrance I wouldn't have seen it.

not if you’re in London that’s for sure- the advertising is everywhere. Buses , every shop window so if you’ve walked through a high st or travelled down Oxford st or gotten out through Liverpool st Stn or any other really, lots of ads on tv, the paid streaming has ads too now. The sports commentary.

No this is poor form. My husband always has something small for me on Mother’s Day. Nothing extravagant. Little things.
I had a lovely card “from my baby” on my first Mother’s Day. I had a hard time establishing breastfeeding but it was beginning to go well, and so the card said l “thanks for all my milk mama, I love you” and there was some lovey chocolates too. This was ten years ago now and I still have that card. I felt so cherished and appreciated.
every mama deserves to feel this way and to be reminded of how much they are loved on Mother’s Day

Once I was aware of the date I did celebrate it (and sent my mum a card and let my husband know so he sent his mum a card too).
But unless someone studies a calendar in depth frequently and/or regularly goes into shops that sell the typical merch then it's very easy to not be aware of when the actual date of Mother's Day is. Especially as it's a different date each year.

Well good for you and your uncelebrated life. Are you aware that lots of people think differently and that’s ok?

I am a mother and I have a mother yet
I barely knew it was Mother's Day today.
I noticed some cards in the supermarket so Googled the date.
I wouldn't have had a clue otherwise.

In three months he's not taken the baby long enough for you to have a bath????

Mothers day is the least of your problems op? That is absolutely appalling. Please tell me I read it wrong?

Poor man, he doesn’t even know 🤣 Nobody told him poor thing 🤣

YANBU
On my first Mother’s Day my DH bought me a dried floral arrangement so they wouldn’t die and I could display my first Mother’s Day flowers forever.
Your first Mother’s Day is an important day.
However I would give this year a pass and give the benefit of the doubt that some men have truly been raised to take no responsibility in emotional labour, making the extra effort or being the one to make things special for family members. It doesn’t mean it can’t change.
A discussion about how important it is to you and if he doesn’t take this on board going forward you have more information on how the rest of your life will look.

Mother of child so deserves respect, acknowledgment and care.