Mothers Day 2026 Disappointment Thread

Bugger all from adult children. They also forgot my birthday. I am definitely miffed. Miss the old days of flowers and breakfast in bed! I sent my DM flowers and a card, she was delighted, some of us know what to do.

You haven't done anything wrong.
It's the way she is, you deserve better

Its not your fault.
It's them. Thoughtless and selfish. Maybe they will have it happen to.yem.ine day

Just to add, following from another thread. I’d be fucking delighted with an M&S cakes and pre-made sandwich afternoon tea. Never gonna happen though.

OK, I’ll bite. DH made an effort to get a card/flowers/chocs. Got DS to sign the card. DS laid in so did not see him. We went to visit DD at flat she shares with DH (he works in town in week and she lives there while at uni) and drop off some stuff as it is new and needed wall art/cushions/lamps/small furniture items etc to finish it off. She was waiting, eating bacon and eggs for breakfast, and then left us shifting boxes with the comment ‘make sure I am up by 12’.

Husband stands agog. 3-4 hours later, having unpacked, assembled furniture, hung pictures and flat packed cardboard and reloaded the car with it all, he loses his shit. We asked her to get up and help. She flounced about in her PJs but did nothing. She mentioned that she heard the lovely receptionist/concierge call up and bring me flowers and wish me a happy Mothering Sunday. He’s a lonely, very religious Nigerian man who thinks my DH is special, for some reason, and this seems to extend to me now. However, still no acknowledgement by her that it is Mother’s Day, no card, no gift. Nada. Whilst she stands troughing on a tub of chocolate mini rolls.

DH is now stomping around, slamming doors, swearing and muttering and decides we are leaving as he’d like to do the tip run for the cardboard today. His sulk, stomping has continued all fucking day with a moan about how selfish and self absorbed and thoughtless our kids are. They are 18 and 21 in a few weeks, and yes both are AuDHD. However, DS bought his GF a Tiffany necklace for her 18th a few weeks ago and DD does buy her friends nice gifts. They are not clueless. They know I will have gone to a lot of effort for their 18th/21st in a few weeks.

So, yes, I confess I am rather hurt. My expectations were rather low, so I’m nonetheless more disappointed than surprised. But DH’s day-long tantrum has just underscored what a shit mother I actually am because my kids are selfish gits that he is appalled and disgusted by. Ironically, he has never bought his mother a card or gift - ever - and every year I arrange a gorgeous bouquet for her from us all. She received it mid afternoon and sent me, personally, a lovely message of thanks.

I am on the gin n tonics. At least the dogs love me.

Agreed. I never did anything for my mum apart from school stuff until probably the age of 10 when me and my sibling would get a card from the corner shop. When my children were tiny my husband didn’t do anything but as they got a bit older he helped them choose a card and get some flowers. Now they are older I do get a nice card from them. We have never gone out for lunch either my mum and I or my kids and I not have I ever had a day to put my feet up. I always send my mum flowers which I take time to choose what I think she’ll like (and my MIL!). That’s it. Never made any more of the day other than a small acknowledgment of love. I don’t remember Mother’s Day being a big deal in the 1990s but maybe other people did big things for it.

It’s not Mother’s Day where I am it’s in May .. my husband intensionally didn’t send his mum who is in the U.K. anything at all. He’s in therapy for abuse (mental/emotional) as a child which has only really surfaced and admitted recently - it’s a real struggle. She will probably have no idea why !

I don’t think OP is being unreasonable, I think her husband’s behaved awfully - but generally I do feel that the tone of Mothers’ Day has changed a lot and for the worse. When I was a kid I gave my mum a homemade card and a bunch of daffodils. One year I remember making some chocolate truffles for her at Brownies. Maybe other people always did afternoon teas and expensive meals out and bouquets of flowers and £40 presents, but I think it was at least less prevalent - probably because of social media.

I received a half dead orchid, courtesy of 7 year old DD and exH. Apparently exH thought that the flowers were meant to be floppy and sad looking.

Genius !!

That was my response!

Dh said this (kind of joking) I pointed out that everyday was men’s day

The tone of mothers day has changed a lot. It used to be 'mum's day off', so breakfast in bed and mum putting her feet up while everyone else sorted meals, laundry, cleaning. I guess today that seems anachronistic as, hopefully, things are more balanced in families with other members pulling their weight more often. In my house DP does most of the cooking, so it's not like he could treat me by doing it. We also split most of the cleaning. But I still like the idea that mothers/fathers day is about laziness, rather than big presents or a meal out.

@Topseyt123 I think your post puts everything into perspective. (& I don't have any mother's day great expectations or any disappointment). So sorry.

Gosh Op, your dh sounds extremely selfish. He needs to fix this ASAP. Do not let him get away with being such a poor excuse of a man. Tell him next weekend is your Mother's Day as he clearly either forgot you or couldn't be bothered this weekend. As such, he will be waiting on you hand and foot with anything you could possibly want and arranging appropriate gifts and cards from the kids.

I also suggest you forget his next birthday or Father's Day and postpone it a week so he can understand how his actions have hurt you.

Don't wait till next year, book it now!

It's in November, for future reference. I'd ask him why he doesn't know that. I usually tell the men in my life to go to the doctor if they need to and to look after their mental health on it. Why isn't there a big thing about it? Because men don't bother to organise it...

There are so many shitty men on here. It makes me so sad :(
Happy Mothers Day everyone 💐

Do it OP, I am sitting in a restaurant on my own drinking wine after a fab meal. Think my family were shocked I did this but I do so much for them all and have elderly parents. For once I just put my self first.

I've been with my partner a long time and we have a 3 year old. He is a good supportive partner and dad in every day life but I feel a bit sad he never uses birthdays or occasions like Mother's Day to do something a little special for me. I'm a still a little sore from no effort being put into my birthday earlier this year.
I should expect it by now and I know it doesn't really matter but I've been feeling pretty shit recently and it's just making me sad. I suppose it doesn't help that I used to love the idea of Mother's Day as a child and tried to do things for my now dead mum who didn't appreciate or even deserve it.

Really? I love doing that Mother’s Day stuff for both my mum and MIL. It’s become an ongoing joke now that she thanks my husband for marrying me as she gets extravagant flowers now. My DH loves him mum to bits but rubbish at birthdays/anniversaries etc so I’m happy to do it on all our behalf.

Did you mean to say "book a spa next weekend"?

If not you should do that. See if they'll do a discount if you book next mother's day at the same time.

On the flip side, every Mother’s Day I’m disappointed by my mother’s reaction to whatever I’ve done to try and celebrate. This year we went out for lunch, which I paid for, and she got a card and a bottle of expensive gin, which is her drink of choice. It was carefully chosen based on her preferences. But that wasn’t enough. I don’t know what would be. She seems to think being a mother is enough to mean we have to pander to her every need for all eternity. It’s not. She’s an awful mother and a terrible person and since 365 days a year are all about her I really don’t know why I still bother.

You assumed lol

He clearly 'assumed' that you'd be totally fine with the Mother's Day that you've had 😐

DS was sweet. Made me a card and brought me toast in bed. Not a word from DH or DD. The house is a tip. I’m surprised by how hurt I feel. Late this afternoon I went for a long drive with a mug of tea and podcasts. Before I left I checked to see if flowers or gifts had been hidden anywhere. Nothing.

I really did not want to come home at all. Eventually I had to.

The lounge has been cleaned, presents on the table and someone baked a cake. I’m guessing Amazon delivered a last minute purchase from last night.

But my mood has fallen so After a day of feeling really yuck that I’m now resenting the pressure to pretend everything is ok and that actually they were thoughtful and caring all along.

ETA: every year before this has been tea in bed, cards, a gift and some flowers. This year is a massive anomaly.