Is it ever acceptable to just block people with no explanation or warning?
This is what I’ve done and I feel guilty although I don’t think I’m the bad guy here.
I formed close friendships with two fellow SEN mums last year. Let’s call them Sue and Jane. I opened up to Sue about how difficult I find parenting without a village (and a diagnosis of ADHD and OCD). She shared her struggles and we became close. She offered to babysit my youngest a few times but I turned her offer down. I know she tries her best in many ways but she has a very “hands off”, latch key child approach as that’s how she was raised. I tactfully told her that DH and I were going to hire a babysitter but I appreciated her offer and she stopped speaking to me for three months as apparently I didn’t think she was good enough to care for my child.
During this time I became friends with Jane. Jane takes a polar opposite approach to parenting and is definitely a helicopter. She’s quite an intense person and would message me every day, give me hugs (to my surprise), and would talk about our children growing up together, etc. We’d meet up regularly (to the point where it became routine for our autistic kids) and she’d even refer to me as their “auntie”. During this time, Sue apologised to me and I accepted it. Jane had a lot to say about Sue’s parenting style and spoke in a very derogative way about her (I actually defended her a few times) although their children are close friends.
A few months ago, Jane rang Sue up desperate for a lift (I don’t have a car) and Sue ended up taking her to a food bank and helped her bring stuff back to the house. The two became closer and Sue helped her clean her house and shift some broken furniture (I had offered but I have my toddler home with me during the day so could only do an hour). The two became closer and began meeting up without inviting me which I didn’t mind, but I honestly feel like Jane dropped me like a sack of sh1t. She began referring to Sue as the kids’ auntie, giving her hugs to say bye without so much as glancing at me. I know it sounds quite childish but I felt hurt considering I had opened up about my marital issues, allowed my child a sleepover at her house (I’m not usually one for sleepovers).
The other week, the three of us and my DS were sat in Sue’s courtesy car and she told me off like a child for giving DS crisps in the car. I apologised and the next day she gave me and my toddler a lift to her house where she drove over twice the speed limit toward a blind corner then told me, while we were drinking coffee in her kitchen, that she had told her 6-year-old to be more grateful as my son doesn’t have as a good of a life as he does and go on multiple holidays abroad each year or get to go to as many cool places. Because I’m clearly a pushover, we still agreed to meet for breakfast in the week where she cancelled without any prior warning.
I’m aware I’ve rambled so to debrief, I’ve cut them both off and blocked them on all social media. Now Sue is demanding an explanation and I don’t want the confrontation or drama, I just want to be left alone which makes things awkward at the school. My mum and Sue have a friendship and she thinks I’ve behaved harshly as it’s never okay to just cut someone off.
AIBU?