Mother’s Day - AIBU to say ‘let’s keep it in perspective’ on Mumsnet

Every year, there are multiple threads on mothers day about people moaning how their husband hasn’t made much effort

always makes me chuckle

Absolutely this!!

I love a whole day of celebrating how awesome i am. Bring it on

And as for the keep calm command?

I'm surprised your OP didn't tell women off for being hysterical.

My ds is away at uni, we went to see him the other week and he apologised in advance that he probably wouldn't text me early on the day as he had a huge night out last night 😁, he did send a card though (I said i didn't want any presents).
I am spending today thinking about the mum of his best friend from uni who sadly died last May. It will be her first Mothers Day without him and my heart goes out to her today.
The big night out last night was after a charity run they do every year in his name ❤️.

I agree, we don't really go in for Mothers Day in a big way but that is some patronising bullshit.

You are being completely delulu 😁

DSD made sure DS had some flowers to give me as it’s the first Mother’s Day his dad (exH) isn’t here to help him with it.
DS is 12 and thoughtful and would do it himself if he had funds but he’s had enough on his plate the last few months.
I was really touched by DSD stepping in (she always wishes me happy Mother’s Day anyway)

If you can’t be cringe on Mother’s Day of all days then WHEN CAN YOU?

Is there a cringe emoje for your use of cray cray 😂

I tell my adult kids every year that a card is enough. I don’t eat chocolates, I don’t want to go out to lunch at a rip off cost, and I don’t need any more clutter. I know they love me, they show it all year.

I just wish they’d listen.

love this. I would be happy with a hug and a thank you from my children. I love spending my days with them and love doing things for them. I find it a bit sad that mothers day has become so commercial

We aren’t celebrating so much as being celebrated and we don’t really have control over what this looks like. So if it doesn’t live up to expectations we have a choice to be sad about it every year, to say to ourselves it doesn’t matter and do something for ourselves or to communicate better to family what we would like in the hope that they will listen. Sandwich-gate seemed to have been caused by the OP feeling she had communicated something and it being disregarded. But people were like ‘you’re still getting a lovely cream tea ffs’. All about the expectations.

I’m wondering if people skated by this sad, but brave to express, post.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way but just wanted to send hugs.

You can’t pick flowers from a public park!! 😳🤯 Isn’t that up there (or rather, down there) with swiping them from a cemetery?

What a condescending load of twaddle basically telling women to put up and shut up. Let mothers celebrate how they wish

People have a right to be upset if they get nothing at all. But equally if people set high expectations and they aren’t met they shouldn’t be drama llamas about it. Also I never really understand posts where OPs are upset family have forgotten because I just remind mine. Same with my birthday. No chance anyone is forgetting and no point in martyring myself.

Of course he didn't, he's not a self righteous arse who's lost all sense of perspective

My Mum has 3 daughters all also Mums. Weve
all made sure she gets a card and flowers etc None of us live close to one another which makes it harder. We try to every so often meet on the Saturday for a meal - this year due to different reason for each of us we haven’t done - my Mum completely understands.

Even my very difficult MiL is ok(ish) with the Sunday being for me. My husband organises himself and they spend the Saturday together (live over 3 hours away)

I think it’s just knowing a little bit of thinking /effort/care.

We are all quite busy today so celebrated yesterday - bottomless brunch and some lovely flowers
DD sent me a soppy message this morning, doubt DS is even awake
I know they care!
At the moment having a nice soak in the bath whilst scrolling - tonight I am taking my DM out for a meal

Couldn’t agree more. It’s essentially a made up day to make money from that people fall for and then complain about.

Err, where did I say that? I said they're focusing on the wrong things if their relationship is that shit. One day of grand gestures isn't going to make up for year round neglect is it?

And capitalism and insta-shit really has skewed expectations of just about everything. People who can't see that must have the awareness of slugs and I'm glad I don't know anyone like that in real life.

I'm not Christian, so the day doesn't mean much to me. (I'm hoping someone will tell me it has Pre Christian origins as things usually do!)

I love a cuddle and a "thanks Mum" but that can be any day!

What really gets me is when some Grandmothers are grabby and performative about it. Flowers, cards and days out / meals. It makes daughters and daughter in laws feel smaller as they have to placate to meet their demands.

Note that I say SOME grandmothers, definitely not all 💐

You are blessed to be a mother - many for many reasons never get the chance…

I find this quite patronising and dismissive.
The fact that some women who want children aren't able to have them is, of course, very sad but that doesn't mean that mothers shouldn't ever be allowed to feel or express sadness! It is possible to feel grateful for your childs existence and your role as a Mum, but still want a bit of acknowledgement and appreciation on Mother's Day.