To get DD out of a rave

When someone is 18 they are an adult. You can’t tell them what to do anymore. Also surely they can drive themselves?

My oldest went and travelled independently at 18’and is a calm and sensible young woman. It would be really weird if I started telling her what to do. She’s an adult.

This is the problem with modern technology. In my (olden) days there were no mobiles, no tracking, and our parents lived in blissful ignorance. If we wanted a pickup we arranged it before we left. I can’t imagine how grim it must be to have parents constantly on your case and spying. But I should add that when my cat disappears for too long I’m almost dialling emergency services.

I bet the parents tracking their adult children’s whereabouts and imposing curfews would have a fit if their 18 year-old daughter was in a controlling relationship with a boyfriend who dictated what time she could stay out with friends until. It’s astounding that they can’t see the difference.

Posted before you edited!

Bloody hell 2pm!! That is a logistical nightmare!

What time did they go out?

What a load of bollocks

Sorry but it is. It’s not a different subjective parenting approach - it gets quite odd fast if you try and actively “parent” a legal adult. It’s actually quite sinister.

Jesus this is still going on. I think it’s clear everyone is different. My DC are now both away at university (in fact one is about to finish) but when they were still at school and living at home both had to leave at 2am and it was never an issue for them. You may find it weird. It’s completely normal for lots of people (including most of their mates) partly because getting home becomes a logistical nightmare when you live out in the sticks if you leave it any later. Even leaving at 2am you run the serious risk that you won’t get a uber. You don’t need to be worried for my poor cloistered children. Theyre perfectly fine.

It’s still weird to treat an adult like a child!

You’re free to disagree. That doesn’t make denigrating other parents reasonable.

That's exactly why I don't track mine - I get anxious enough without adding a tracker into the mix, it'd just feed any anxiety and I can see how it'd become easy to obsess over keeping checking it and their whereabouts!
It's not healthy.

The way to gain trust is to not lie. A parent teaches their kids that there are consequences to lying. Hopefully the biggest consequences in this situation is embarrassment, and not the scary alternative.

You do you, but this child put herself in a situation that could have bad consequences. Where her parents didnt know where she was. Id rather my kid be upset with me because I called them out on their stupid behaviour, than dealing with a scary alternative.

Perhaps 30ish years ago when we were out our parents were less stressed because they didn't know where we were. No location tracking. In fact, no phones. And they would never EVER pick me up gone 10.30pm.
Maybe just turn off the location tracking.

This ^
Raves in the countryside take you far away from the drunken, meat-market that is town nightclubs. The people have put in quite a bit of effort to get there and are committed to the party. Everyone (or it was in my day) looks out for each other, you often get adopted by other groups if you get lost. It's mostly safe.
I hope she's had a fantastic evening and wish I could have been there myself.

This is why parents should not be tracking youn people by phone..... it turns the parents into creepy nutters.

I think teenagers develop af different rates. I’m very aware that legally my dd will be 18 in a few months. However, from a maturity perspective, she’s not yet her chronological age. Normal, as she’s recovering from ED. The brain shrinks and takes a long, long time to recover. People, who are ND are also generally younger than their years. I don’t think this is all down to the parents. Some of this is down to the individual teen. But do I say my almost 18 yo is a child these days? No. Even though she very much is and it’s often like dealing with a 15 yo rather than 17. Tough gig. She needs parenting a lot and a lot of guidance.

And some people are so desperate to insist their nearly adult teenagers are “a child” is embarrassing.

Why on earth was my post deleted??!?!

Mandy and pills definitely still a thing,coke and ket all also huge, plus shrooms etc

Maybe it’s too light in the summer? There was an epic rave post Covid in our small city. It was so loud it woke everyone up even my parents who live 5 miles away and are quite deaf.

Even made the local news. Was killing my self laughing as the local new reader intoned “many of them continued to dance - even though the music had long stopped”

An old friend!! Doesn't everyone buy their drugs online these days?

Who were you chatting with?! Your drug dealer?

I was chatting to someone last week and apparently the Es are very good these days! I am constantly baffled by the popularity of ketamine, I tried it once when it started popping up in about 1994, 1/10 would not recommend.

One way of looking at it 😂