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Original poster

Fil moved on too quick?

206 replies

Hereforthecommentz · 14/03/2026 23:58

Mil died a 14 months ago. Fil has found someone else and is all loved up. The woman is my mums neighbour. I took him to social club as I was worried he was lonely and miserable. So now he's in love with neighbour. Sil is really unhappy moved on too quick ect. I said I feel stuck in middle, I like neighbour, I dont want Fil unhappy. I went out my partner didn't want to go, he's OK with his dad being happy but doesn't want to see it. I get it. Event at social club, seemed very loved up even I felt a bit uncomfortable. My child was sad at seeing her grandad moving on so quick. I feel stuck in middle.

OP posts:
JustAnotherWhinger · 15/03/2026 00:16

Statistically with men the happier they were in their marriage the quicker they move on.

However, there’s no right and wrong timescale. If your FIL is happy and it’s all genuine (ie he’s not just looking for a housekeeper and the woman isn’t just hoping he’s a wealthy widow) then over a year isn’t that surprising a timescale.

DH and I married 5 years after he was widowed. We met 2.5 years after and got together 3 years after. His two closest friends from a widows group both remarried - one after 6 months and one after 18 years, everyone is different.

Giftspread · 15/03/2026 00:12

I read once bereaved spouses should allow a month for each year the couple were together. I've been married for 39 years, and it seems about right to me!

InterestedDad37 · 15/03/2026 00:11

BauhausOfEliott · 15/03/2026 00:09

What an unpleasant thing to say.

Show quote history

I've seen it in action many times.
If he's found love and they're both happy, then fine, I take it back and apologise, but it's very common.

TheAvidWriter · 15/03/2026 00:10

I would say its his own choice and not anyones business.

Its a lot to go through when you loose someone, and its up to your FIL to know when he is ready. You being uncomfortable is a you problem. Let him find his own feet and seek his own happiness. If this is too much for you then perhaps get a life of your own? I dont see a problem with this at all. They are lucky they found one another, or do you need him to make sure you are comfortable with him moving on in his life?

BauhausOfEliott · 15/03/2026 00:09

InterestedDad37 · 15/03/2026 00:07

Often it simply isn't love or anything like it. It's an ignorant lazy old man who either can't or refuses to look after himself, who has found an absolute mug woman willing to be his new mummy. Quite frankly, it makes me vom. 🤮

What an unpleasant thing to say.

InterestedDad37 · 15/03/2026 00:07

Often it simply isn't love or anything like it. It's an ignorant lazy old man who either can't or refuses to look after himself, who has found an absolute mug woman willing to be his new mummy. Quite frankly, it makes me vom. 🤮

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