How many kids is too many???

She's got one sibling. I am the eldest of 5. She's openly criticised other mums with 3/4 for looking tired or not happy or stressed.

That all sounds magical!

Ever thought you should quit while you’re ahead?

See, this colleague probably could have walked into her child’s school and got a secondhand school jumper for cheap, possibly even free.

This kind of selfish mentality isn’t to do with the number of children. if she had just two, it’d be the same thing, can’t afford to buy the children essentials🤦‍♀️😕

I come from a large family. I have absolutely no regrets. Just love being part of a big family now l am older. We didn't have our own rooms but that genuinely was never an issue. My dps were very hands on and we were never expected to mind little ones. But it was a different time. We had 3 and my pregnancies were extremely difficult so thrilled to have those.

@applesandbananas1 for me it was a decision based on how many years of my life do I actually want to have dependants and I decided ideally 2 decades only (so all of my 30s and 40s), so I stopped at 2!

I’m delighted I’m 47, 3 years to go and whilst I’m happy for them both to live here for however long they want, they will certainly be living as adults, with no mummy running round after them.

I have a colleague who has just had a fourth, living in a teeny three bed house. She announced it in the same breath as telling us that her eldest wasn't getting bigger school jumpers this year, because they couldn't afford them, and justified it by saying 'well I always wanted a big family as a child.'

I did have to bite my tongue. Hard.

I’ve got four. They’re pretty much adults and navigating the world ok.

Is your mind blown OP?

We have 3 and cope fine (although babysitters are a very rare occurrence!). Think a lot of it depends on the nature of the children rather than the number.

It might be because she comes from a big family. I’ve never been taken to buy a pair of shoes individually. It’s totally different from my dc’s experience. Where both DH and I take them out, according to their interests and needs. Instead of just rearing a throng you largely ignore, with older ones looking after younger ones.

@applesandbananas1 How many children do you have?

Social media is a bigger challenge than issues of the past like war, deadly illnesses, child labour etc? I don’t think so. And if these things are so bad, we’re all better off with just one child, or even better, zero.

Two children is quite enough for anybody these days. The world is over-populated IMHO.

My 3rd is due in April and since one of the mums at school found out she barely talks to me anymore, I used to chat to her every day! I know she doesn't agree with 'unlimited breeding' though and judges people for having more than 2 basically.

You’re not actually concerned though are you. Its judgement disguised as concern and a thinly veiled dig at people who you think have had too many children.

Your argument isn’t even logical. Most of the things you mention, like social media or both parents working, are the same regardless of how many kids you have.

This seems pretty judgmental. I had three DC in 3.5 years and we've managed just fine. Almost all my friends have three or four children. None of them are very rich or very poor just perfectly normal families who've made different choices to those that have one or two.

We have 5 and plan on having one more, hopefully around this time next year, all going well.
We find parenting easy and a lot of fun, HOWEVER, that is because we can afford them, along with help around the house/garden and we both have the most amazing families, our boys have 5 sets of grandparents doting over them all and we actually had to start filing in the calendar of who had who and when as we were starting to get grief over so and so has had them more than me/is it not my turn to babysit - madsers that they are😂

I’m the third dc my dm particularly couldn’t be bothered with. She didn’t speak to me throughout most of my childhood. She is mentally ill. But please think about your health and energy levels and general willingness to give. I never had anyone read a book with me, play a board game, pick me up from a school trip or party. Just make sure you are actively involved. Not just wanting an audience member.

Exactly. I have 4 and it’s busy and fun but not chaotic.

It’s all subjective.

The environmental debate side of it is a different discussion than whether you can individually manage the parenting of those children though, which is what OP seems more concerned about.

I have 7 bedrooms and chose to fill them all. I didn't find it harder than two. In fact, in some ways it's easier as they also have each other. The 'real challenges' of parenting exist at every stage. They're just different. Having teenagers wasn't harder because of more siblings. By the time I got to younger ones, I'd had practice with the issues, so it was easier. It's not the first time every time.

They all had their own room. They all had extra curriculars. You just work out the timetable efficiently so they work together well. None of them had any less than they would have if I'd had one or two. Children in law who are now arriving are the bonus icing on the cake.

Yep. Totally agree.

We have 5.
Ds 28
Dd 22
Ds 15
Twin Dds 7
And currently fostering a 6 month old baby boy.
All the kids currently live at home so it's a busy house with 8 ppl.
We wouldn't change a thing.