How many kids is too many???

Yes I am. But I’m not reflecting on my experience and then stating that because of my experience other people should do the same as me.

I would have loved to have had more than 2. Finances weren’t the reason but now in this economic climate it was probably for the best.

My dad was 1 of the 7 & they are very close.

We had them close together - worked well for us and they are all late teens early 20s seem happy and well adjusted and close.

I'm glad we didn't listen to advice to have none to wait or just have one - been best thing we did - hardest thing but the best.

Eldest is 20 and still people on here tell me to wait for her life to derail and challenges of parenting to emerge - just you wait - there have been challenges but nothing insurmountable they all so far seem to be on track.

It’s about having no individual relationship with a parent.

What you’re reflecting on is your children and your own experience. That situation is obviously unique to your family and cannot be used to make judgments about how many children other people should have.

I had the complete opposite experience to you. I found the first three years extremely challenging. Now in their teenage years they really are a joy to be around.

I have no doubt she can pick up a second hand jumper!

My concern is that if she's struggling to find a spare twenty quid now, how exactly is she going to raise four children to adulthood? You can't pick up school trips, driving lessons, and university fees off the PTA second hand table!

The world runs on money, unfortunately, not unconditional love for your kids.

I have 4 kids but they’re older (11-18) The people who tell me they can’t imagine having that many look really shocked, seem to have very calm/ quiet lives and live in a way I can’t imagine myself. Just in bed now after a board game night as we have most Saturday nights and I wouldn’t trade my life with anyone!

I do get that it’s a lot lot lot more expensive to have children now though and we’re lucky we’ve owned a long time

I have 3 - planned 2 but had twins. I think it’s too many for most and no idea how most afford it. Dh and I earn well (not mn salaries but above average). It’s expensive. 2 ski trips (obviously optional but something we’ve saved up for them). 2 would mean we’d have lots more money… but less laughter.

To add, ours are all adults now. We navigated the teen years with 4 teens ( our 4 were born in 6 years). There were hard times, fun times, stressful times, hilarious times, worrying times, celebratory times etc etc.

More and more I see families have 3+ kids and it blows my mind

Where do you live? Have you seen birth rates?!

So judgemental.

Im one of 4, my husband is one of 8.

We have 4 together, he also has 2 from his first marriage.

It is nobody else’s business.

I know two families with 10 kids each!
Probably best if I don't say how I know them!

I’ve 3. I knew it was my absolute limit and never for a moment considered more

So that why your magic number is 2. Because you stopped at 2 everyone should, got it.

I think the number of kids really depends on the people having the kids. I have 2 I can afford at least 1 more I would cope with more but I nearly died in my last pregancy and I refuse to put the children I already have at risk of loosing their mum because I would like more. I have seen people who have more than they cope with or afford and to me that is selfish. But if you can afford it and be present for each of the children then why not? Its not my womb so its really none of my business

I’m not asking you to agree with me. It’s a fact which is increasingly obvious with every post you make.

I have 4 but my oldest is 20, youngest 1 so at least my oldest can do a lot for himself (although he doesn't drive)

How large you want your family to be is one of the last remaining choices we have which is literally nobody else's business than those directly involved. Where we live on the West coast of Ireland 5 children is perfectly normal and families thrive. But we don't spend our working lives commuting into cities or traveling in 'leadership roles' to earn money to pay for over priced housing and schooling. It's what you want your life to be and what value you place on a larger family or not. But it's a personal choice. Mo family is too large if that's what you want.

I'm not really sure what the answer is meant to be to this question as it is obviously not a number!

I do know a single mum of 13 though, who is absolutely smashing it professionally. I can only suspect she does not need sleep.

@applesandbananas1 how many dc do you have?

I'm one of two and never been taken to buy shoes individually. They either turned up when my mother found a good pair at a charity shop, or me and my sibling were taken to buy school shoes together. Typically we only had one or two pairs over and above our school shoes. I didn't know I'd missed out because of this.

On the other hand, my collection of children got all new shoes when they needed them, so I guess they did get individually taken out for that sort of thing when needed.

I'm sorry if that was your experience with a larger family but I can't relate to your description of it at all.