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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to leave tonight after husband's texting and driving tantrum?

144 replies

Justinbimber · 14/03/2026 18:10

My husband is slamming around the house and doing his aggressive “tidy up” routine because I said he shouldn’t text and drive.

We were in the car with his son (6). I said “if you keep texting and driving you’ll end up with 3 points, or worse”

He replied he always did it and why mention it now? Then he said it’s alright for me because I don’t drive so I can relax and go on my phone whenever I want.

He then threw his phone at the dashboard, and drove 50+ in a 30 zone for about 10 minutes. I was gripping my seat

He already drives under the influence of cannabis (everyday). I will not get in the car with him on these days.

Aibu to pack my bags and leave tonight? I’m sick of it all, whenever I bring up a slight criticism (?) it ends with these escalated moods and tension. His son is clinging to me since we got home which is unusually for him

OP posts:
Vaxtable · 14/03/2026 22:44

Justinbimber · 14/03/2026 18:51

I clearly stated I do not get in the car with him when he’s under the influence

@Justinbimber

i sincerely hope that you report him to the police each and every time. How could you live with yourself if he causes an accident? You will be just as much to blame as him and you know he does it!

sittingonabeach · 14/03/2026 22:36

Does he drive under the influence with his child in the car? Leave him and report him to as many people as possible

PinkLegoBalloon · 14/03/2026 22:36

I'd wait until his son is back at his mum's I think. 😢

But yes, I would then leave.
And I'd let this little boy's mum know what had happened in the car and the house and that it had unsettled her child, and that I was leaving. Oh and I'd tell her about the daily cannabis use too. I reckon his ex won't be surprised but she needs to know.

I think I'd also go one further and report him to the police and safeguarding.

How did marrying him seem like a good idea?! What a prize. 🤦😔

Wordsmithery · 14/03/2026 22:30

Leave and tell the child's mother that he's potentially at risk.

Happyjoe · 14/03/2026 22:27

He has shown what he thinks of you - and your son. He's endangering your lives and getting nasty when asked not to so basically he doesn't care for his family.

If not willing to give up the drugs, calm down the way he speaks to you, listens and works as a team with you then yeah, I think it may be safer and healthier to get yourself into a position to get out of this relationship. Sorry OP, so hard to go through this.

Daygloboo · 14/03/2026 22:00

Justinbimber · 14/03/2026 18:10

My husband is slamming around the house and doing his aggressive “tidy up” routine because I said he shouldn’t text and drive.

We were in the car with his son (6). I said “if you keep texting and driving you’ll end up with 3 points, or worse”

He replied he always did it and why mention it now? Then he said it’s alright for me because I don’t drive so I can relax and go on my phone whenever I want.

He then threw his phone at the dashboard, and drove 50+ in a 30 zone for about 10 minutes. I was gripping my seat

He already drives under the influence of cannabis (everyday). I will not get in the car with him on these days.

Aibu to pack my bags and leave tonight? I’m sick of it all, whenever I bring up a slight criticism (?) it ends with these escalated moods and tension. His son is clinging to me since we got home which is unusually for him

Yeah Go. The cannabis is fucking with his head. He could have killed you. He needs to sort his addiction out. Dont go back. Move on.

Build5bear · 14/03/2026 21:39

Can you take the son with you?
probably not but I felt awful reading that about him clinging to you. He can’t feel safe around his dad. Could you speak to the mum and make her aware of what is happening?

grumpygrape · 14/03/2026 21:26

Justinbimber · 14/03/2026 18:51

I clearly stated I do not get in the car with him when he’s under the influence

Leave, leave, leave, leave, repeat, repeat.

How do you know when he is under the influence or not (cannabis stays for quite a while).

Leave, leave, leave.

momager22 · 14/03/2026 21:24

He’s willing to put your (and his son’s and other road users) life at risk just to teach you a lesson/ exert some power? Yes I’d be gone already.

BrightLightTonight · 14/03/2026 21:21

This reply has been deleted

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bumptybum · 14/03/2026 21:13

Did you plan to have dc with him? Because you know exactly how he will drive when alone with your dc

CannotBeBotheredWithAnyDrama · 14/03/2026 21:13

He's a moron, and a menace to anyone on the road - and a danger to your and his son. Leave. If it were me, I'd also report him to the police.

KitsyWitsy · 14/03/2026 21:10

I put Yabu because you're complicit in his behaviour. Even if you don't personally get in the car when he's 'under the influence' you're not bothered about his child or other people.

He sounds bloody awful and this can't be new behaviour. There must have been signs before.

Anyahyacinth · 14/03/2026 21:09

If there is a reason you are uncomfortable with the police OP you can also share your concerns with safeguarding at your local council. This is not a safe environment for you or his child. Take care you were right to challenge his texting and driving...his reaction demonstrates he no good.

Abd80 · 14/03/2026 21:00

100% Run and never go back !
And when you’re somewhere safe phone the police to report him for driving under the influence and being unsafe around his child. Also tell child’s mother.

HotRootsAndNaughtyToots · 14/03/2026 20:54

I know someone who died because they were texting at the wheel, in all other ways they were a good & cautious driver. Just thought they knew what they were doing.

Their death broke their family and closest friends, and the driver of the lorry they hit remains haunted by the accident to this day.

Their mother has had nightmares every single night since they died, 10 years ago. It's believed the cancer their father developed was triggered by grief.

The ruptures & pain their actions caused are still causing pain a decade on.

Yes, I'd report him to the police. Yes, I'd leave him. Never let him drive you or your child.

MrsStarskie · 14/03/2026 20:51

Imagine you were single and no friend. One of your mates says "I know a man you might like". Then goes on to describes your DP. Bad temper, uses phone while driving, uses cannabis.
Would you take her up on it and ask her to organise a getting to know you date?

QuintadosMalvados · 14/03/2026 20:37

Obviously you need to get rid as he's a cnut.
Is his son's mother a decent enough person? If you get on OK with her, I'd let her know what he's doing.
You both need to unite against him if possible. Support each other.

She probably despises him, too.
This is further complicated by his son being there. He should be away from him.

NewGirlInTown · 14/03/2026 20:34

He sounds like a wanker. Excusing his dangerous behaviour by saying he ‘always does it’!! 🙄
I feel sorry for his son, you can get out, and you should.
Driving daily under the influence of cannabis is despicable and I hope you report him to the police.

YerMotherWasAHamster · 14/03/2026 20:29

Yes, you should leave him.
And report him.

Benjithedog · 14/03/2026 20:28

Report him to the police then leave

NewZebra · 14/03/2026 20:27

Please report him. He could kill someone!

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 14/03/2026 20:26

That’s shocking behaviour, he could kill an innocent person.

Cherrysoup · 14/03/2026 20:24

‘Shall I lose my abusive druggy DH who drives like a wanker?’ Hmm, let me think…..

marcyhermit · 14/03/2026 20:22

Does the child's mum know her son is being driven around by someone who is on drugs, speeding and texting?
I'd inform her and the police as you leave.

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