Nothing for Mothers Day (first as a single parent)

It would’ve been nice if he’d at least promoted your teen. But if he hasn’t done anything for tomorrow then I wouldn’t bother with Father’s Day. There is no point making the effort when it’s not reciprocated

There have been times when her dad has got me something from her. Probably more the first year after we'd separated. There have been times when she's asked him herself if she can get something, which has probably helped.

But many years when he didn't get anything. And honestly every year I'd take her with me to the shops and say what do you want to get me. Obviously I'd pay for it with my money. And she'd choose something. Nothing big. Because I wanted something for mother's day and that was the only way I'd get something.

This year she's 12. She went into a shop by herself to get it. Spent £3 of her own money.

If yours is a teen I'd expect them to get something themself but I'd probably remind them (because I like to have something, doesn't have to be something big). If you say the other is too young to sort anything, I'd take him myself like I said above.

My son’s dad is useless too. He’s not mentioned anything and I imagine he’ll remember tomorrow afternoon 😏
I always take son out myself to choose me something. Today we went out with my partner (we don’t live together) and I was sent for a coffee whilst the boys went shopping ❤️ son then made me a hand made card. I am excited to see what I have tomorrow (partner is an excellent gift giver)and son is very thoughtful.

I think you just need to sort yourself out OP. It’s the only way sometimes.

Its a tough one.
Yes, it would be nice for your ex to organise something. It would be nice for him to instill that appreciation in the children.

Unfortunately it can't be expected with exes. You can't expect them to behave how you would like them to.

My stepson is 14. His parents are seperated since before he was 2. I'm in his life 10yrs. Every year, we ensure he has a gift/card for his mum on her bday and mothees day. In the 12 yrs my husband has only recieved one gift on father's day (which was actually smashed). This is the 1st yr where we have made the conscious decision not to sort anything purely my SS is now at the age where he can actually sort a card or something himself and his reaction was "Meh" when his Dad suggested bringing him to the shop to get something.

DH and I are together but I'm always really clear with my teenager that it's his job to think of and source gifts for people, including his parents. He now tends to take his younger brother out with him when they go gift shopping.

There are way too many me who seem to think that gift giving is a natural female competence rather than a responsibility and skill to be learned - I think the early teens are a good time to start setting these expectations.

I hope your teen has sorted this off his own bat but if not it might be worth settling clear expectations for him in future when it comes to this sort of thing?

I really hope you get something OP 🩷

My DH is a brilliant dad and even if we split up, I know he’d still be brilliant dad to our children so I’d always encourage them to make a card/or I’d buy a card on their behalf and even a £10 gift or such whilst they’re young. I don’t agree with other posters, I think if splits are amicable (no cheating/no domestic violence etc) then why not carry on appreciating the other person as a good parent?

no i dont get gifts from my ex for Mother’s Day and never have, your teen is old enough more than old enough actually

I dont get anything😄

But I bought myself some flowers and I might do myself a nice dinner while dd has her French fries

I take my son to the shop - he picks a card . I pay for it . He gives it to me on the day .

same for birthdays and Christmas .

You need to take some action if you want things to happen , rather than just complaining about it .

Your parents aren't the sort to get involved in things like that yet you've had food etc today for Mother's Day? I'd really expect grandparents to get their finger out and organise things for you from your dc, not an ex.

No. I don’t think you are. A fucking card from your son to the mother of your child is basic manners your ex clealy lacks!

This is the first year my DH is to disabled to organise me something and I’m feeling really sad about that but I know it’s nonsense and selfish really. My 11 year old told me out the blue to not worry about it the other day and that he’s got it sorted 😂🤣 to be honest that fills me with horror but we’ll see!

Mothers days tomorrow not today, they might surprise you.

No I don’t really think the norm is for an ex to plan your Mother’s Day.

But its not mothers day yet?

We don't do mother/fathers day in our family so maybe different view of it, but I wouldn't expect another adult to organise something on behalf of a child. Even if you do buy into celebrating it what is the point if it's been artificially produced by someone other than your child?

Children tend to make cards at school if they are not capable of organising something themselves.

My ex doesn't, barely did when we were together as I wasn't his mum 🙄My DPs ex messages him with presents for him to buy from the kids. I'd never.

Why would your teen come down with a card today though?

Your teen could've and may have organised something even just a card, would your parents have nudged him?

Take dc to a shop. Give them some money and let them pick something themselves. Thats what I used to do when dh was away for months at a time.