Nothing for Mothers Day (first as a single parent)

My ex didn’t organise anything for Mother’s Day even when we together. If you separated on reasonable terms I would expect him to remind snd help them but otherwise, no.

I would say it is an ex's responsibility to be a good parent and remind your mutual child to show respect and kindness to their mother tbh.. agreed not many do but they bloody should!!

The first year my sis was a single Mom, we stepped up. I brought the kids something little (wasn't in a position to take them shopping) so I just too them to the loo in the pub, gave them wrapped gifts and sent them out to their Mom. Same for her birthday. I honestly wouldn't have expected the ex to, even if I think it's a decent thing to do for the kdis if not their Mom

But that's on you if you want to go out of your way to celebrate Father's day. Doesn't seem reasonable to impinge your expectations on your ex. It's your son who should be more thoughtful.

I think it’s good you have mentioned it today and hopefully in future he will step up. I have mentioned similar things in the past and it goes in one ear and out the other. This is one of many things that are hard for us as single mums, that no one understands unless they have been through similar. We are supposed to do more and be happy with far less recognition. Meanwhile there are other threads with people upset about bought sandwiches instead of homemade. People say that older kids are capable of doing it themselves, I mean my 11yo may be capable of walking into a shop and buying a card and flowers, but he still needs to be driven to a shop (we have none selling flowers for example within walking distance) and handed the money to do so! They don’t do cards in y6 either as they are too busy prepping for SATS and if they did them in schools that’s hard for kids who don’t have a mum in their lives. I hope your next Mother’s Day is better.

First year no as was 2/3w after I kicked him out and he said not together anymore and no Money

dd 6 very upset and my friend took her to get stuff few days before bless her

last year - nothing but Dd knew the drill lol - asked to go beg of March so I took her and stayed other end of shop so didn’t see what she got

this year same. Dd now 8 was so thoughtful with gifts that she choose by self

tho ex did give a card in it today with money in it which suprised me

im amazed how many say ex shouldn’t do as an ex. It’s not for them. It’s for the kids who want to

I always get something for him as dd wants to get him stuff and that’s fine as he’s her dad

I think under 5 - parents should regardless of together

at school they make a card there and old enough to say can we get something

secondary school /teens etc old enlighten to do theirselves

if can go out with friends , the can organise a card /flowers etc

I had years of this despite never missing my children’s dads Father’s Day or birthdays. Once they got to teen years they started buying a card. Or a pressie like a candle or socks. Whatever they got me meant so much as they used their own money, thought and time to get them. So I’d say as the kids get older you’ll be more appreciated. Even if it’s a cup of tea, toast and daffodils pulled from the garden. (Bought proudly to mr one Mother’s Day). I was just happy to have them with me on the day more than anything.

This. I have a son and a daughter. Son is absolutely lovely in many ways, however remembering things like Mother's Day isn't on his radar. He always does remember, but I know it's my Dd or his DP who has reminded him. As far as exH goes, no chance as we privately hate one another. Personally he shows his love for me in many ways and I don't give a toss about 'getting anything' on a yet another UK 'marketing' day - I'm just proud I've taught both my children to sniff out the money in every scenario, be it a social media post (human advertiser) or an advertisement on YouTube - and that I value time with them more than any price hiked bunch of flowers.

My brother (who really dislikes his ex) has always gotten her something for Mother’s Day from the DC.

Now they’re getting older he’ll take them shopping to get her something but have less say.

It’s really nice for exes to do things like this but it’s not something that is mandatory and so you don’t really have a right to be upset.

Perhaps a conversation about what happens going forward.

Exactly

I had no one to organise my Mother’s Day gift on Mother’s Day as no family and my ex would love me to get nothing ( v bitter man) . so I used to give the kids money and they would buy me something in a shop where I was if needed , they loved it as did I and we had a picnic tea on a blanket in the lounge with a video on . Make your joy where you can ( I was hideously lonely at times as a single mum and tried to hard to turn situations round )

I specifically remember when me and my sister were younger (teenagers probably?) I think it might have been my dad's birthday but same premise applies. We'd not got anything. I remember my dad sitting us down and making us realise the importance of at least a card. And that we should have got a card. Because that must show you've thought of someone of course.
I've never forgotten that.
And yes it's true.
And I do think cards are important. Maybe that's where I get it from.

I miss him

My ex got me a card, flowers and chocolate from our 4 year old, we do 50/50 custody and I would do the same for him for Father’s Day (not the flowers)

I think YABU to make this your ex’s responsibility. You need to have a word with your teen if you’re upset. He should be old enough to organise something himself. Getting your ex to sort it just makes it someone else’s job. If you actually want to raise a child who has the capacity to think about others you need to address this with him directly. Otherwise he’ll grow up to be one of those thoughtless DH’s people on this forum moan about on every special occasion.

Its sad you got nothing. But I certainly wouldn't expect an ex to organise anything. And Teens often don't bother unless prompted.

I’d expect a teen to use initiative and organise something. If he/she hasn’t, I’d also be using this to have a chat about how Mother’s Day is important to you and that it’s been ignored has hurt your feelings. If you don’t do this, don’t expect your teen to become a thoughtful partner in his or her adult relationships when they’re not learning this as a child. A teen is way old enough to start thinking about the impact of actions or non actions on others.

We do this. Because if we don’t our children would be devastated not to have anything to gift on Mother’s Day and Father's Day.
They’re not quite old enough to
go shopping alone but I am certain they’d think to make a card if my ex didn’t help them.

so during the week i reminded my teen it was mother’s day. today i had to remind her to give me the present i had given her the money to buy. it’s not great but at least get something! i’m hoping at some point it will stick and actually happen without prompting!

If you got a card from youngest, then your only argument is with teen DC really. I would have a little word about being more thoughtful to him.

I don't really think it's about presents, cards are lovely and it's about someone thinking of you. Which should now be teen DC, who could have made a card and then offered to make you tea or something.

Not while my DC is a teen. You have to prompt them. I got a lovely present and a post it 💕💕

I think it’s a bit odd to expect an ex to organise something tbh, but I would have expected something from a teenager, even if just a card. I remember going to the shop and buying my Mother’s Day flowers with pocket money, even when I was 13/14. I didn’t need an adult to organise it.

Um, no, my ex might organize a hit man but no, not a gift for mother's day😂. Treat yourself. I would think the joy if being single is not having to play the dance of 'will he-won't he' on special occasions. He won't and can't be expected to, so take charge of your happiness.

You’re not BU. It’s nice to wake up to a little card. When my SC was at home living with me (26 one of them is now) I used to always give them money for them to buy their mum something on Mother’s Day even though they didn’t have much to do and my SD lived with her mum so I used to just check with her if her step dad had sorted it out or I would of, costs nothing to be nice?

Ahh mate, I sympathise completely. I used to make a real effort with the ex because I wanted to model a good co-parenting relationship to our child, so I’d make sure there were cards and gifts. Alas, he’s a phenomenal thundercunt and would never reciprocate (in fairness, he never did much when we were together either). So I pulled back on that, and when it comes down to celebratory days, I sort myself out.

If DC is with me, we have breakfast in bed together in my bed (supermarket pastries and mugs of tea) as a treat. This year I bought myself two books I wanted and a bunch of flowers and, as DC was with the ex today, I also got a lie in with the cat.

I live by the concept of treating myself like my own best friend!

I’d be having a word with the teen though. Outline your expectations now!

Well if you don't get anything, he can't expect Fathers Day stuff can he??