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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To interfere with the floral flow?

62 replies

WombAndBiled · 14/03/2026 15:27

Would I be a ungracious wretch if I politely requested no more flowers?

I've currently got 17 bouquets at home, was my birthday last Sunday and I was thoroughly cherished and indulged.

Today 2 more deliveries have arrived, from a couple of Dc's friends.

I'm seeing my 4 DC plus they're partners tomorrow for a big family lunch and I would imagine they'll all turn up with more.

I absolutely cannot give them all the enjoyment they deserve wth them all in bulk than if they'd arrived separately.

I'm fully aware how blessed I am and would be worried about coming across ungrateful if I messaged (my DC only; not other folk who have traditionally treated me to flowers in Mother's Day) of I messaged to ask not to bring flowers if they hadn't already organised them.

Your presence is more appreciated than your floral presents sort of malarkey?

So I guess my AIBU is

YANBU - ask them gently to pause the petals?

YABU - stop being a flipping miserable wretch, enjoy the abundance.

💐

OP posts:
PullTheBricksDown · 14/03/2026 16:48

TeaView · 14/03/2026 16:43

I thought the children’s friends were gifting her flowers for her birthday, maybe. Still weird but not quite as weird as for Mother’s Day?!

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The post says 'on my birthday and Mother's Day'. I do find that odd. Have only ever bought flowers on Mother's Day for my own mum and on occasion by agreement for my mother in law. How old are these young people, OP @WombAndBiled ?

Original poster
WombAndBiled · 14/03/2026 16:47

And there's a couple of the DC's friends moms that my DC treat on Birthdays Mothers' Day etc. But I do suggest fizz 😉

OP posts:
Original poster
WombAndBiled · 14/03/2026 16:43

PullTheBricksDown · 14/03/2026 16:36

Do your DC's friends not have mums of their own?

If they do, or if there's a woman in their lives who does the mothering (grandma, stepmum, aunt, big sister) I would encourage them to take the flowers for that person instead.

If you're doing that job for 4 or 5 of your kids' friends, then that's quite an unusual level of absent mothers around.

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Oh they buy for their moms too.

Just quite a few of them think to treat me on these days, very kind of them. I am very honoured that they think of me in this way.

OP posts:
CallingOnTheMegaphone · 14/03/2026 16:43

FloofBunny · 14/03/2026 16:35

Huh, count your blessings. Despite being a very nice and loving person, I have received precious few flowers in my 51 years, to the extent that I am going to reverse the usual funeral directions I plan to leave and ask for as many sodding flowers as possible!

Getting flowers is seriously overrated, I hate them! Give me a nice houseplant any day.

TeaView · 14/03/2026 16:43

PullTheBricksDown · 14/03/2026 16:36

Do your DC's friends not have mums of their own?

If they do, or if there's a woman in their lives who does the mothering (grandma, stepmum, aunt, big sister) I would encourage them to take the flowers for that person instead.

If you're doing that job for 4 or 5 of your kids' friends, then that's quite an unusual level of absent mothers around.

Show quote history

I thought the children’s friends were gifting her flowers for her birthday, maybe. Still weird but not quite as weird as for Mother’s Day?!

CallingOnTheMegaphone · 14/03/2026 16:42

Put the most wilted of last weekend's flowers in your garden waste bin to make way for fresh new arrivals. Mix and match rather than keeping them in the bouquets they came in.

OchreReader · 14/03/2026 16:39

Ella31 · 14/03/2026 15:36

Can you regift them to local nursing homes, hospitals (if allowed) ect....probably a bit late and awkward to say no more.

Edited

Lovely idea. I work in a care home and flower donations are very much appreciated. Lots of residents don’t get any, so it brightens their day 🙂

FloofBunny · 14/03/2026 16:38

PlasticFantas · 14/03/2026 15:59

Was the same for me at valentine's. Postman nearly had a hernia. I also resorted to putting some in my lady's chamber. It's not a recommended long term strategy for floral flow but needs must.

🙄 Why did you get so many at Valentine's? Had you been shagging half the town?

Ignore me - I'm totally jealous. I do not inspire people to buy me flowers, even when I do shag half the town! 🤣

PullTheBricksDown · 14/03/2026 16:36

WombAndBiled · 14/03/2026 15:39

My dad and my aunt generally buy me some.

And there's normally four or five of the DC's friends who treat me to some one my birthday and Mother's Day.

Show quote history

Do your DC's friends not have mums of their own?

If they do, or if there's a woman in their lives who does the mothering (grandma, stepmum, aunt, big sister) I would encourage them to take the flowers for that person instead.

If you're doing that job for 4 or 5 of your kids' friends, then that's quite an unusual level of absent mothers around.

FloofBunny · 14/03/2026 16:35

Huh, count your blessings. Despite being a very nice and loving person, I have received precious few flowers in my 51 years, to the extent that I am going to reverse the usual funeral directions I plan to leave and ask for as many sodding flowers as possible!

metalbottle · 14/03/2026 16:35

WombAndBiled · 14/03/2026 15:39

My dad and my aunt generally buy me some.

And there's normally four or five of the DC's friends who treat me to some one my birthday and Mother's Day.

Show quote history

That's odd, to buy flowers for a friend's mum on mother's day?

Crunchymum · 14/03/2026 16:33

3.30pm the afternoon before Mothers Day is cutting it too fine to tell people no flowers? They'll either already be ordered / purchased or you put your DC in a position where they'll need to find a last minute gift (if they were planning to grab you a bunch tomorrow)

Hopefully your DC would have opted to get you something else after seeing the abundance of birthday flowers?

And I'm very jealous of your kitchen prep table. In another lifetime I will have one of those 😂

Original poster
WombAndBiled · 14/03/2026 16:26

HortiGal · 14/03/2026 16:19

You could donate some to local nursing/care homes for those without family.

That's quite a nice idea.

PPs have mentioned taking some to mom, but I took some flowers yesterday. And I'll go again with my DC tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
WombAndBiled · 14/03/2026 16:24

Ariel896 · 14/03/2026 16:17

What a peculiar thread 🤔

Why do you think that?

OP posts:
HortiGal · 14/03/2026 16:19

You could donate some to local nursing/care homes for those without family.

Ariel896 · 14/03/2026 16:17

What a peculiar thread 🤔

GoodVibesHere · 14/03/2026 16:04

It's too late to say anything now, so you're going to have to go with the floral flow for the time being.

PlasticFantas · 14/03/2026 16:03

Actually I'll have you know I am lady Grantham and so is my wife.

MargotLovesTom · 14/03/2026 16:01

You have seventeen plus vases and a lady's chamber? Are you Lady Grantham?

PlasticFantas · 14/03/2026 15:59

Was the same for me at valentine's. Postman nearly had a hernia. I also resorted to putting some in my lady's chamber. It's not a recommended long term strategy for floral flow but needs must.

EmbroideredGardener · 14/03/2026 15:58

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. Could you bundle some of them up together and lay them at her grave?

Coconutter24 · 14/03/2026 15:57

WombAndBiled · 14/03/2026 15:37

Yes yes that's why I said in the OP I'd ask them not to get some if they hadn't already organised.

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But if they had already organised some you may make them feel awkward

Original poster
WombAndBiled · 14/03/2026 15:54

Fushia123 · 14/03/2026 15:49

That sounds like a lot and by now they may look better in smaller jars or pots? Can you take them out of their original wrappings, throw away any that are already over, and cut about 4cm or more of the bottom of each stalk. Put clean water in lots of vases, mugs, flower pots …. Whatever you have handy. They can be cut as short as necessary - just mix up the flowers with a piece of greenery in each one if you can. Distribute them all over your house on window ledges, bathroom, porch etc. Keep on removing any that go past their best and change the water every few days. If you put some of them in jam jars or containers that are not too precious, you could give some away too. X

They're all in vases, all still looking good, I change the water daily.

They're upstairs downstairs and in the lsdy's chamber, still got 8 on the kitchen prep table.

I'm very blessed and appreciative.

OP posts:
Ella31 · 14/03/2026 15:52

WombAndBiled · 14/03/2026 15:40

Thank you.

She was quite unwell for a while and I've made my peace with her passing.

But it's definitely one of those hard hard moments.

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Of course it is, be gentle with yourself tomorrow. Try not to worry about the flowers, you sound like a very considerate person

Fushia123 · 14/03/2026 15:49

That sounds like a lot and by now they may look better in smaller jars or pots? Can you take them out of their original wrappings, throw away any that are already over, and cut about 4cm or more of the bottom of each stalk. Put clean water in lots of vases, mugs, flower pots …. Whatever you have handy. They can be cut as short as necessary - just mix up the flowers with a piece of greenery in each one if you can. Distribute them all over your house on window ledges, bathroom, porch etc. Keep on removing any that go past their best and change the water every few days. If you put some of them in jam jars or containers that are not too precious, you could give some away too. X

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