AIBU to think our 18 year olds should work instead of wasting away weekends?

Surely they are allowed some down time and relaxation.
I didn't expect my children to work when they were doing their A levels because I thought their doing their school work was enough. My daughter did decide to have a part time job for extra clothes nights out etc but it was her choice.
They will be busy enough soon enough with exams anyway and their activities sound reasonable so why not just let them enjoy themselves while they can

I went back and reread my post. I completely agree with you that my comment "OP, were you hoping your children would go to university? If so, don't destroy their chances by making them get a job", is definitely overly dramatic. And I think you are correct: working only 8 hours a week is unlikely to affect a student's grades. It is the students that work 20 or 30 hours a week whose grades suffer.

I teach post-secondary students (not high school students). I said that some students who work do well, but on average, they don't do as well as students who don't work. Your example is anecdotal evidence. I teach about 250 students per year and have taught for close to 30 years and this is what I have seen.

You think they should be working 7 days a week? You don't think weekends are for having fun, relaxing and doing what you like? Is that how you live your life?

Personally I'd be much more concerned that they're frittering away the money given by their grandparents. I'd have been seriously encouraging them to put almost all of it in an Lifetime ISA/fixed interest account or somewhere else they couldn't touch it for a good while.

I don't know what IB is but at that age they do need a lot of down time. Though if they're in school (at 18 I thought they'd be away at uni?) then they need to pace themselves.

They’re studying, you agreed they wouldn’t work whilst doing their course. They are allowed some free time, it’s actually really good as a way to de stress.

Our youngest is doing A levels and we don’t expect her to work whilst going them. We encourage her to take time to do hobbies, see friends and have fun. She works hard and deserves some time to be care free.

I think they are missing an opportunity. I have a 17yo who has a job as a pool lifeguard on Saturday afternoons. He has saved £5k towards his first year at uni so far, he has 8 months customer service experience, he's made friends with the other lifeguards and it gets him up, clean, tidy, shaved and out.

When his A levels are over he can work as many shifts as he wants all summer, to reduce his student debt.

He seems to have a following of teenage girls in bikinis too.

Sounds like a lovely weekend to me.

I’ve taught IB - it is intense and the exams are really soon. None of mine worked during A levels or uni, it’s all stressful enough anyway. I’d leave them be.

We've programmed ourselves to believe we need to work until our health goes and then spend what little time we have left trying to finally live. Work is not all there is to life and they will have many, many decades to focus on work. Let them enjoy their youth. It's fleeting.

I teach A-level students, I think this close to exams is not the time to be starting a job. Those who work consistently throughout a levels seem to be able to manage their workload fairly effectively, and often their employers allow them to reduce hours around exams. Just starting a job now is going to wreak havoc on their time management, and an employer is not likely to give them time off during exam periods if they’ve only just started. I would definitely tell them you expect them to look for work as soon as exams are done though.

I think you are being a bit ridiculous.
Just because they were able to do "nothing" this weekend and would have had time to work this weekend doesn't mean that they would have the time to hold down a part-time job every weekend. The IB is very intense.

They should have set chores to do around the house though. Do they?

They can get a part-time job in the summer after the exams are over.

This. What do you do all weekend? Are you working?

My DS2 had jobs from being 16, and was at 6th form grammar so not a walk in the park. It was quite flexible so when the pressure was on he eased off the job, whe int was quieter he ramped it up. He had a car at 17 (bought himself) so needed to pay petrol and towards insurance. He has kept same job at uni, lives away but comes back home to work in the holidays and when he is skint. We had an understanding that school came first, and if he was feeling overwhelmed, he took a break. It had so many benefits apart from financial, went from being quite reserved and anxious to confident and able to vocalise in any situation.
Unfortunately I have little spare money so couhelp him financially so he had to take matters into his own hands. He is a complete miser with money😂as he knows what it takes to earn it.

My two had jobs from age 16 which were kept open for them all through university. One got on a competitive grad scheme and the other a masters internship with load of questions at interview about their part time jobs. Nothing special, JD Sports and Papa Johns. But four continuous years each balanced alongside studies. I really believe it made a difference.

My 17 year old has an equally intense amount of study. She also does volunteer work in the week. I admit that occasionally her utter collapse onto my sofa on a Saturday is annoying. I also know it is necessary. She is exhausted.

Sounds like they've had a fun weekend of downtime before going into a really busy season. I don't think a blanket stance on jobs for sixth form age kids is useful. If they are getting good grades, working hard and maintaining diverse extra curriculars I think that's probably enough. If they are sitting around twiddling their thumbs then I'd be expecting them to get a job. But YABU to say they are too busy to get jobs then get irritated by them not having jobs and enjoying their weekend. I suspect you know that though!

To be fair, I bloody hate the formula 1 and get very resentful of DH watching it and think (thoroughly unreasonably) that he should be mowing the lawn or taking the kids swimming or something every time he sits down to watch it.

Another one here who thinks you’re being quite hard on them, OP. If they’re doing well at school then what’s the problem with a whole weekend of sports and socialising? Sounds exactly what 18 year olds should be doing.

You dont get to move the goalposts just because you dont like the occasional outcome of the original agreement.
Its bugging you they are hanging out together and watching sports?
Is it because they arent bothering with you or including you?
You sound v v resentul. But u set the terms so i think you need to accept that.

This is so overly dramatic. Every person I know worked at GCSE and A level age and all of us passed our exams and went to uni. They’re not failing exams because they’re working 8 hours a week. They’re failing because they’re not making time for schoolwork outside of those hours.

Are these young adults doing their own washing? Do they ever cook a meal? What help are they around the house? If they are doing chores sometimes, up to date on school work and forecast good grades then they get a weekend off now and then. Their job at present is to get good grades. Everyone needs some fun. Post exams they should be at least trying to get jobs.

Aren’t many jobs you can get for only 1 rando weekend in a school year.
You sound a bit addicted to work.

Both my DC worked about 12 hours a week at 6th form. So one weekend day and one evening a week. That felt about right and gave them enough money to be a little independent, go on holidays with friends etc. It also helped them with confidence and made them more practical and less entitled. And they still had time to do their schoolwork and socialise a little. But if they are coming up to exams this summer, it doesn’t seem sensible to start a job now, they will need to give revision priority. The jobs market isn’t great at the moment either, it might take a lot of effort to find a job, at a time when revision is important. I think they’d be better off waiting until after the exams to get employment.

My students, who work during the school term, often come to class unprepared and either fail or barely pass their exams. The first question I ask a student who fails an exam, "do you have a part-time job"? More often than not, they say yes. It's true that some students still manage to work part-time and do well but generally the top student's don't work. OP, were you hoping your children would go to university? If so, don't destroy their chances by making them get a job.

Mine didn’t start working until Uni. DS worked full time at Buckingham palace in summer of Uni in year 1, so he went from never working a day in his life, to full time for 3wks. Summer 2 he did an 8wk internship (would have returned to the palace if that didn’t come about) then summer 3 after graduation he had off, as he started his graduate job in the sep. My dd is year 13 and not worked yet. I think A levels are tough enough, and she has ill heath too and is doing 4, so enough going on.