AIBU to think our 18 year olds should work instead of wasting away weekends?

@Greenwitchartthat isn’t my philosophy 🤷‍♀️ my dd goes to college and manages a pt job and still manages plenty of time for doing nothing/socialising. I am currently sitting in my garden with a cuppa (although gearing up to mow the lawn) so do find time to relax.

As pp said this comes down in the most part to money, if you’re willing and able to give your kids a decent amount of pocket money and buy them all the extras as well then fine. I could afford to give my dd a small allowance and she got extras for bday and Christmas, if she wanted a new pair of expensive trainers or similar she needed to earn some money likewise if she wants to go out with her mates.

Im a single parent so will have less money and down time that couples I guess.

MN is a funny place though because all of my friends and family with teens have part time jobs, it would be more unusual for a teen not to work. All of DDs friends work as well.

I work full time and make sure i get time to relax. Maybe you need help with your time management skills?
Beats me how anyone thinks not having a pt job because they have a huge workload in college means enabling lazyness? How silly.
My dd eg worked on her FYP morning noon and night. Not sure how that makes her lazy. She did get top of her grade though and walked into a job paying 60k at 23 so i think she will be ok.
Is it resentment makes people think like this?

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

A levels should be 9-5 five days a week (at least) if DC are aiming for top grades.

Maybe you should start relaxing too and reassess your priorities...

Because it is really sad that your life philosophy seems to be " If I have no leasure time, then nobody else should have any fun".

IB is very full on. Especially the last year. Down time is important. They could get a summer job after their exams.

My kids are in full time education. 9 until 3:30. A Levels, not IB so I won't pretend to know the workload of that. They have plenty of downtime and they have part time jobs.

It comes down to wealth as usual. If you can afford to support your kids through their education (a couple of my friends have uni kids who have never had a job) then not working is a real option.
And from upthread I have seen that some recruiters do value sports clubs and extra curriculars more than working in the chippy, so I think you might be right that they are at an advantage.

I can afford to support my kids - just about. But it makes me happy to see things they buy with their own money, hear my older one planning his summer holiday with friends and they know they don't have to come to me every time they want to play crazy golf or have some food with friends.

They´ll be working till they drop at least until they are 70. Leave them alone!

I don’t get time to relax, I work full time and weekends are spent cooking, cleaning, washing etc 🤷‍♀️

When my dd isn’t at college or work she is relaxing or seeing friends (because I’m doing all the other stuff that has to happen!)

Plus college isn’t 9-5 five days a week.

When I was a teen myself and all my friends had Saturday jobs, it was completely normal. I also don’t agree there are no jobs out there, if your young person really wants a job they will find one.

I think there’s a lot of parents enabling lazy teens on this thread tbh.

All my friends teens have jobs, restaurants, cleaning, McDonald's, supermarket. I know it's harder now but you just need to keep applying. There are loads of caring jobs. Lots of firms prefer taking on youngsters as they can work evenings and weekends as they don't have their own caring responsibilitys.

God forbid they have downtime....

it’s one weekend. What may be the problem is you are Getting to enjoy a weekend as chores still need doing, dinner prepped etc.

my kid set up his own business at 14. He’s grown it and doing well. He only does it in holidays and occasional weekends. He’s got loads of money. Which he wastes on treats outside the home.

told him he needs to pay for one driving lesson a month when he starts. I can’t afford a lesson every week.

I think you need to get some activities you enjoy doing at weekends as they will be at uni soon and you will have empty nest.

genuine question. Why don’t you believe your kids deserve downtime?

I used to be working full time and doing A levels at evening classes at weekends. I'd be out socializing

Doesn’t make it right. Personally I think it’s ludicrous that some parents expect DC who are working hard in full time education to work in addition. The clue is in the name.

Ime it is on the way out and mc DC who have more time to spent on their studies and extra curriculars are at an advantage.

The exception is if it’s something they enjoy like sports coaching or life guarding.

These kids should be enjoying their youth and spending time with their friends, having fun and focus on their studies during the week.

Do you spend your weekends working?

Front of house staff are generally older for some reason

Jeeez, you sound as wildly unreasonable for the sake of being unreasonable as my Mother was.

Its ONE weekend from the sounds of it - where the hell do you think they're finding a job for ONE weekend?

SO they are spending a weekend watching sports and socialising, out of how many weekends where they haven't?

Be honest, it pisses you off that they're having fun and what is it you're doing? Something you don't enjoy, I'll bet, or something you feel is much more worthy than watching sports!

I am no sports fan, literally couldn't give a fuck, but surely its up to them what they do with their downtime!

Because she can drive it would have been possible for dd to keep on her job at the motorway services coffee shop (just about commutable) - but they would not consider allowing her to work around her uni hours, they wanted total flexibility so she had to resign.

Our nearest McD franchise also seems to have mostly older workers, certainly counter staff and front of house etc. The younger ones seem to be the ones doing the cooking. The last time, the guy who was taking the food out to the cars parked waiting in the bays must have been retirement age or close to it.

As McD's are franchised, I suppose it depends on the franchise owner as to what kind of staff they want to take on AND of course the availability of different staff in the local area. I have often noticed that when we've been to McD's in University towns/cities, the staff seem to be a lot younger, typically looking like student age - there'll be a bigger "pool" of youngsters wanting p/t work in a Uni town.

That's very strange indeed then. My DS ( now 22 ( worked in McDonald's from age 16) Most of them were youngsters in the whole franchise. My DD is in HR for another fast food company and nearly all employees at basic level are under 21 ( completely different area of country)

Our local waitrose has 6th formers working there. The local pubs have young bar staff also. Some even under 18 as they can collect glasses, load dishwasher but not serve alcohol

Maybe it's just your particular area

Their ages even in McDonalds and KFC average about 30. It's not anymore like it used to be 20-30 years ago. DH used to work as a student and was shocked. Which weekend staff at supermarkets?! There it's even worse. It's depressing.

My daughter had 3 years experience, she worked 2 years in a theatre including behind the bar, 6 months at a theme park and 9 months in a coffee shop on a motorway services and still could not find a job when she became a student.

Where do you suppose the staff at McDonald's or KFC come from? Or the ones working in nightclubs. Or weekend staff at supermarkets?

Maybe your kids were pipped to the post by those who already had 2 years work experience as started at 16.

And surely it's the best time for zero hour contracts when you don't have bills to pay

Thats the problem my daughter has Choco. A lot of the retail and coffee shop jobs want total flexibility over the whole week. She is on a coursework/practical hevy degree with a timetable that changes week to week. The timetable is also only released a week or so before the start of each semester so the few friends of her who have managed to find work have had to miss lectures and tutorial as because their work rota had already been set.

And almost everyone who has found work is under the age of 21. They can be paid less than dd who was 22 when she started.

Unusual? My children applied to any job they could find right after A-Levels and were rejected by everyone. I have not seen a single student working in retail or hospitality for years. They only want people on zero hour contracts. I have also seen A-Level teachers on mumsnet who say that the subject material they teach has doubled since 2000. Friends have told me the same. Now, I remembered DH saw one of DS1's school classmate who is now at university working at Costa. He said that he had to work 2 days including 14 hours on Saturdays. DS has been meeting his friends for group coursework which is essential nowadays and spends most of his time doing that and his timetable is not the same every week. I have no idea how he would have handled work if he had to negotiate different days each week!