AIBU to think our 18 year olds should work instead of wasting away weekends?

I'm a bit old school & think everyone should work from age 16, even if it's a washing up job on Sunday for a few hours. I think it teaches young people something that simply cannot be taught at home or at school & it shows young people hoe hard you have to work for a cinema ticket or a night out etc. My son was very, very fortunate to get a decent apprenticeship & I'm pretty certain his pub/washing up/cleaning job alongside A levels got him the job.

Not now, though - exams start in six weeks! After they're done for the summer, yes, some work would be a good thing.

That's crazy. They will graduate at 21 and be looking for jobs but will have zero work experience. They should work in uni holidays.

But OP - you're the one who said they would be too busy for a job.

Suck it up! You can't have it both ways.

I think it’s better if they have some sort of work. Are they at private school? I’m wondering if it’s less common for private school students to have part time jobs as parents can afford to finance their social lives a bit more?

Exams are in six weeks. They really, really should do something this weekend, even if it's just a couple of hours each of the days.

Are they at college/learning for 5 days a week?
If so, how many days off a week do you think is acceptable?
Do you and your husband work more than 5 days a week? Do you "waste" your weekend, or work extra?
Do they not deserve any down time to enjoy themselves?

Gosh how times have changed. I’m surprised how many on here think teenagers having a Saturday job is tantamount to child cruelty.

I presume it is the financial gift from grandparents that has sucked any need to get a job from them? My DD got a job the weekend before her 16th birthday and continued to do jobs whilst at University. We never denied her money but she was determined to earn for herself. She also managed good A level results and to look after and ride her horse and compete in dressage competitions.

Interested that graduate recruiters look at Saturday jobs as a differentiator between candidates……

@Roxen We agreed to neither of them having part time jobs as between their studies and the extra things they have to do they wouldn’t have time. However this weekend I’m feeling quite annoyed about that, as neither of them are going to do anything remotely related to school.

Weird stance. It is absolutely normal for 18 year olds to have part time jobs during evenings and weekends, even teens who perform highly academically.

Last night they went to a friends birthday party, got home at about 2am, they then along with DD sat up for the F1 sprint race. Went to sleep for a few hours woke back up for qualifying and went to sleep again afterwards. Now they have all gone to the pub where they will stay all day for the 6 nations matches. DD has said when she gets home she will watch the Indian wells tennis semi-finals, before going to sleep and waking up for the F1 tomorrow. They then all have tickets for a football game tomorrow, before going out for dinner with school friends.

Sorry, but do you have daughters or princesses? They sound like kids who are afraid of getting their hands dirty.

All of this!

Agreed. Not sure OP would be fussed if they were going to a theatre matinee tomorrow.

How did you have very few worries when there were all the exams!!

What a misery. You sound like you don’t like to see your children enjoying themselves.

My daughter has a part time job as well as uni. You can tell kids how to be, show them how to be but you can’t physically teach them how to interact because they have different personalities. They learn that and my awkward & shy daughter who would refuse to get herself a takeaway tea if it meant talking to a stranger is now not only confident in doing so can be quite assertive if she feels wronged. All this came with her being employed.

I voted YABU for complaining that they are spending their time out and about at events that cost money or require tickets because they are clearly getting the money for all that from you.

You also admit to putting them off getting pt jobs in order to focus on their studying and whatever organized activities they do.

Cut off the money and they may well find they have the motivation to get jobs.

If they're planning to go to university and eventually start careers, they are going ro need a much longer work history on their CVs than you have anticipated. It is really, really important for them to get their asses into gear asap.

If they had a full time job would you expect them to work weekends too, or enjoy themselves?
weeks away from exams getting a job seems pointless. I think weekend only work is incredibly rare now, when DDs friends have gotten p/t jobs there’s huge pressure to work more hours than they are contracted to. They put loads of workers on minimal hours and then get them to do more to cover the work that needs doing. That’s if they can even get jobs. I don’t know any who just have weekend only.
One of her friends does work at the football club when there is a match on, but if there is a weekday match she’s often there until the early hours so not ideal.

I've heard all about this and am really surprised, and feel bad for students. I was doing A-Levels/uni in the first half of the Nineties, and it was super-easy to get a Saturday job and holiday jobs. Never thought I'd see the day when such jobs were so hard to get. I feel really sorry for young people today.

Are all their week-ends like this?

Looking back, for me this was the one period in my life when I had very few worries, lots of friends and endless energy to enjoy life 🤣 It sounds like a great weekend, let them have it and don’t ruin this very short amount of time for them. Reality will hit all too soon.

All this is a perfect storm. It’s a big rugby day, it’s also the F1 your kids obviously love their sports. Having 1 weekend to blow out just before they buckle down is more beneficial then sending them into an anxiety attack because they haven’t done any work this weekend

I voted you were being unreasonable for a few reasons. It seems your children enjoy each other's company, are making memories together, and aren't glued to their phones. Good for them and you for raising socially confident children with varied interests.
You made the decision not to insist they got jobs, good for you, they have plenty of time for that, they are obviously intelligent and there are exams looming. Once this part of their education is done a job could very well be necessary but for now I'd let them be and pat yourself on the back for raising conscientious children who tell you about their plans!

How many days per week do you work?

I've never worked more than 5 regardless of whether that work was paid employment, studying, or a mix of the two.

I think it's incredibly mean spirited to begrudge your teens enjoying their weekends in exactly the same way many adults with careers do.

I am fully in the camp of children having jobs as teens. I have noticed in my family that the young people who had jobs as teens are far more proactive about post university jobs and careers than the ones whose families didn’t want them to work because they thought it would interfere with their studies.

One thing working as a teen teaches you is that working minimum wage jobs is more often than not damn hard slog in potentially boring work for little reward , it is a great incentive to think hard about what jobs are going to be interesting and rewarding.

IB is brutal, my dc are where you dc are and I don’t see how they would have time for a regular part time job.
I would be more concerned that they aren’t doing any exam studying.

They are not doing anything wrong. One weekend they relax and watch some sport? Come on.

When i was 18 I was out getting shitfaced most weekends and going to clubs. They sound like good kids who are putting the work in. Its one weekend. Give them a break.