I don't know if the right thing to do is. I got with my sons dad at 20. his dad was older and had 3 older boys already when we got together.
I got pregnant quickly and had DS just before I turned 22.
I was naive but over the years he was emotionally abusive, misogynistic etc. I split when DS was about 10 and he stayed living with dad as ex somewhat bullied me into it and I imagine he did with his ex. He's turned ds against me fully
DS changed and was also abusive towards me emotionally and also would sound so much like his dad in the things he'd say. I stopped seeing him when he was 12, not a big dramatic thing I just stopped enforcing he cone here every other weekend as he didn't want to anyway and it was miserable for us both. I did message him but he ended up blocking me. I'm also still in contact with his 3rd son, he's the only one who seems to have escaped his dads attitude somehow considering his brothers haven't. He's 18 now, my son is almost 14 at the end of the month.
I hear a lot about DS from him, they seem to be close but he told me his dad has taken him our of school because he was getting into trouble constantly and his dad said the school were bullying him which I doubt. He probably just couldn't be bothered to engage with school. He's doing work online using free resources which is only because the brother makes him do it which at 18 isn't his job to parent his younger brother as he also goes to college but I am grateful for this. I haven't reported it and I don't know is SS would be interested and I worry for his son then.
I started seeing DS again recently, he's quite hostile still and rude but hopefully we are fixing our relationship. He stayed over 3 nights last weekend Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. He spent most his time on his PS that I bought him but did do out on his own a few times. He didn't want to do anything with me
He left some clothes here so earlier I went to our some socks into his drawer and I just found empty empty packets of tobacco, lighters, filter papers a random tissue with blood on it, and a condom. Ive spoken to him about vaping as I thought that was the “in thing” for teens rather than smoking but oh God I don't know how to handle this. In tempted to just throw it in the bin but he'd know I have as it wasn't hidden maybe it was a test of sorts but I don't know what he’d be trying to achieve
Ordinarily I would have a very stern chat but given our relationship I don't know