To be upset over ruined photo shoot?

OP I am getting a bit of déjà vu of my interactions with my young adult daughter. She often comes to me in a crisis or sad. I then instinctively start offering advice or suggestions. She then gets annoyed with me because the suggestions are ‘wrong’. We both then realise that what she just wants to do is vent and she doesn’t want any practical solutions, just wants to be heard and listened-to. Is this the case here?

Oh dear lord.
I apologised. Not good enough? Fine.
Let it lie.

I haven't gone on about it. You can't seem to let it lie though.
I apologised. You ignored it. Let's move on
Good luck.

Thank you. I don't think it's going to work, genuinely.

It really wasn't.
It was a kind poster reassuring you.

But I guess we'll have to just agree to disagree.

But that will have capture who your ds is.

I have a ds who loves sticks. He is an adult now and is STILL impressed with a good stick if he finds on on a walk.
I treasure memories of the little boy I actually had. Photos of him sitting angelically in a white shirt would not be photos of that actual child he was.

Some of my favourite photos are of them covered in mud or whatever - they are memories of them having a great time.

You know what? I wasn't patronising, I was genuinely trying to help.
I actually apologised for any upset caused inadvertently, but you're. still going on about it and ignoring the apology.
Seriously.

I was suggesting you organise a photo shoot in the next few years. Not now. All I was saying is that maybe you could go with your phone and take a friend along and take some nice family pictures in a park quite soon. Is that not possible?

And I always try and think of how some good can come out of bad. You must get people to take more photos of you from this week onwards. So by the time the kids are older, you will have albums full of lovely photos.

If today’s photo shoot had not been a disaster, maybe you would not have taken any action and you would be looking at many more years of having no photos. Because of today, you are going to insist on more photos of you with your kids and that’s a good thing for the future. So
all is not lost.

OP it’s sad you didn’t get the shoot you wanted.
I find that when things have gone wrong, making a plan helps me feel better.
So what can you do?

An informal shoot on the next sunny day? Take along a friend who can take snaps of you all.
Tell your husband you want him to take photos regularly.
Await the shoot photos and see if the photographer can crop out any stray logs etc. Technology is amazing nowadays.
Decide to try again in two years.

And do you think any extended family members would have some more photos of you and your mum? I’m sure you have tried.

Maybe have a think how you can move on from this and get some more photos of yourself over the next few years!

Of course it's not unreasonable to be sad about it. We all have times where we get very invested in something specific and feel inordinately disappointed when it doesn't work out.

I'm really sorry things didn't go as planned. I expect that, just like me, the approach of Mothering Sunday brings back memories of your own DM. It is clear you miss her dreadfully (as do I).

May I ask, have other things been going tits-up recently? I get the impression this is the straw that broke the camel's back.

You may be surprised when the pics come back. They probably won't be anywhere near as bad as you think. I certainly hope so.

But what were you doing while your daughter was cuddling your husband and your son was finding sticks and logs he liked? Because if you were also part of the cuddle or chasing your son or laughing at his big logs or really interacting in any way other than being cross about the logs then I'm sure you'll have some lovely candidates photos.

Was there really no part of it that seemed like everyone was slightly having fun and that was captured by the photographer?

So I’m sorry but it’s not funny and while I recognise it happens and I’m just going to move on I am allowed to have my own feelings about it too.

Of course you are, and a lot of people on here should be ashamed of themselves.

OP, I get you and what you’re saying here. I know posters are trying to be helpful but I totally understand why it’s putting your back up and I actually think you’ve done well to not just shut up and sit down. Your feelings are your feelings and that’s justified, no matter how many people tell you otherwise.
I imagine Mother’s Day is still a hard day for you, no matter how many years it’s been and even with your own kids it’s still rubbish to not have your own mum around. And I also really sympathise with that feeling of trying to do something nice and it totally backfires - especially when you’ve spent money you don’t really have on it. I’ve been there and it’s a horrible feeling. All I can say is, kids are little bellends sometimes (often at the worst times!), nothing more, nothing less. Hopefully you can do something nice with them tomorrow so the weekend feels like less of a washout.
On the note of wanting them to have memories of you - I’m sure you already do plenty as you sound like a really good mum, but I always write my kids long heartfelt birthday cards and then keep them - so every year they get what essentially amounts to a love letter from their mum - and when they’re old and I’m gone they’ll be able to look back and see how much I loved them and how special they were. It’s not a replacement for photos (worth a thousand words and all that!) but you could do something similar (if you don’t already, which as I said you probably do!) so you can be sure they’ll have those connections to you no matter what. My mum kept diaries when we were kids - I’ve never actually read them but one day I know I’ll be really glad to have them and be able to ‘hear’ her voice again through them.

And now you're just being nasty.

I can understand being upset. We've had a few photoshoots, and you never know, some might turn out nicely? Logs could photograph really well, your daughter might not have looked at the camera but there might have been shots of her engaging with you and her brother. If the photographer was decent they should have got something. Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

A photo shoot with young kids is never going to be enjoyable.