To be upset over ruined photo shoot?

Awe that’s so disappointing.
Have you seen the photos? You may get a good one.

If it helps when my sister got married she asked the photographer to take an individual family picture of mine and my siblings families. I was so grateful as it’s not something we could have afforded.

None of my kids (I’ve x2 girls x2 boys) played ball, one of my sons turned his back and we only have the back of his head. One of my daughters aged about 2 at the time wouldn’t give up her dummy or bottle. The other son looks totally bored, my other daughter is smiling but it’s so forced and she’s got her legs crossed as she needed the toilet 🙈

My siblings photos were perfect. At the time I was so upset. But I’ve a copy of the photo framed and I love it, kids are all in their teens now.
My husband and I look knackered and we are smiling like loons but it’s a snap of the time we were in.

It’s ok to be disappointed and probably a huge effort to get everyone ready and to the place you had the photos taken. It was just the day that was in it x

Could you ask their dad to start taking candid pictures of you with the kids? It’s not exactly a big ask

@iamjustgutted Truth be told I was going to say that you're being ridiculous getting a photo shoot in the first place but then I read through all your posts and I just want to cry. You wanted something to hold on to the memory of you all together, something you didn't have with your deceased mum. My mum passed before my first dc was born as well and mother's day can be emotional for that reason as well. So sorry OP. You might never laugh about it but atleast you know who to not hire for next photoshoot. Experienced photographers know how to make kids comply by using their imagination and their sense of humour. She shouldn't have accepted to be paid if the photos were shit.

Since this is important to you I'd suggest you try your luck with someone else 💐

Instead of paying for a photo shoot, buy a good camera and start taking pictures of the children. I did this as my kids were born and I have amazing pictures as my technique improved.

Haven’t read all the comments but now my kids are teenagers I wish I’d taken more pics of the more challenging moments like the tantrums and sulks! It’s part of their childhood and it’s actually fun to look back together at when they were playing up! So treasure those pics. And also have them ready to put on a big screen at their wedding day :)

Honestly OP, it makes total sense that you’re gutted. You didn’t just spend £80 on a photoshoot — you put hope and love into trying to capture something special with your kids. When the day doesn’t match the picture you had in your head, of course it hurts.
And it’s not “silly” or “just kids” like some posters are saying. When you’ve lost your mum young and don’t have many photos with her, moments like this carry a whole extra layer of emotion. You were trying to create something you never got to have, and anyone with that history would feel this really deeply.
Kids being wild, whingey, chaotic — that’s normal. But your feelings about it are normal too. You’re allowed to grieve the version of the day you hoped for. It doesn’t make you ungrateful or dramatic, it just makes you human.
Also, just as a reminder… even Princess Kate, with a palace, stylists, photographers and all the help in the world, ended up photoshopping her Mother’s Day pic with the kids. If even the royal family can’t get a perfect shot, it says nothing about you or your children. Perfect family photos are basically a myth.
Some of the replies on here are honestly a bit harsh. People forget there’s a real person behind the post who’s had a painful loss and was trying to create something meaningful. You’re not being unreasonable at all to feel disappointed.
What happened on the day doesn’t erase the love you were trying to capture. It just means the moment wasn’t ready yet. You can try again another time, maybe in a more relaxed setting, or even get someone to take candid pics of you all just being yourselves. Those often end up being the ones you treasure most anyway.
But for now, it’s ok to just feel sad about it. It mattered to you — that’s why it stings.

I didn't read the post as comparing you to the poster's daughter; more using an example to illustrate the point she was making, that you'd maybe come on here looking to vent rather than seek advice. I thought it was a kind post, giving you the opportunity to say, yes everyone, stop with the advice, I've had a horrible day and I just wanted to offload about it. I'd just posted that I thought it was natural to feel upset after you'd organised something special which you were looking forward to and instead it went horribly wrong. We've all been there and I was feeling every sympathy with you. I didn't think your response to someone who was trying to be kind and helpful was warranted.

Oh OP, I totally get it. I’d have been sad about this I’m really sorry it didn’t work out for you.
Sometimes it would be nice for someone to put in the effort to get some lovely candid photos of you with them (without you having to nag and ask), and for someone to put the same effort into getting a photo as I’m sure you do for others.

I’d hold out hope until you see the photos.

I remember taking Ds for a photoshoot for his 1st birthday. I spent an absolute fortune on it and he was a nightmare from start to finish! He did nothing but moan and cry and I remember feeling so down that I’d spent so much on these pictures and none of them would be nice but when the photographer sent them there were some beauties in there. To this day I don’t know how she managed it!

I’m very sorry that you lost your mum so young and I can completely understand your desire to create these lasting photographs with you for your own children 💐

I’m sorry you’re disappointed OP, it is rubbish when something you were looking forward to doesn’t go the way you pictured it. For what its worth I really would recommend having a proper chat with your DH about taking photos of you with the kids, especially given how you feel about a lack of photos with your own mum. I have 2 very young children and a photoshoot would give me exactly zero nice pictures, any I did get would look staged/forced/probably a toddler pulling her best angry face BUT my husband knows how important it is that we have photos of everyone and he does make the effort to get photos often when I haven’t even noticed he had his phone out. No they aren’t perfectly polished photos with beautiful outfits and everyone pristine but I would honestly choose the photos taken randomly of us playing, cuddling, genuinely smiling etc any day.

I feel for you OP - we had a family photoshoot in the autumn and it was a faff to organise, and my DD vommed all over herself just before it started (luckly it was onto her jacket which was wipe clean - but STILL - a stressful start!). The shoot was a present from my parents, so I can’t speak to the financial aspect, but it wasn’t cheap. We had a great photographer who managed to get the best out of my daughter. Having said all this it was a lot of work organising it, choosing the location, timing it so the weather was good, getting my toddler to agree to wear a nice outfit etc etc - so if it had been a disaster I would’ve been gutted also.

I’m not sure why so many people have been so unkind and dismissive of that. It doesn’t take a genius to understand you additionally have complex views around the lack of photos of you/your mum, and the fact that this was a mother’s day treat.

Anyway - if your photographer was experienced I would hold out till the photos are available - they may have worked a miracle. I hope you feel better about it all tomorrow xx

Wait to see the photos
Then report back !

Take today to feel sad. Tomorrow is a new day and with any luck the photos may be better than you think. They don’t need to be perfect to capture the love between you.

I absolutely get why you’re feeling so disappointed and I’m really sorry you do. I know what it’s like to be in barely any photos with the kids despite being the one who does 99% of everything with them and have booked similar photoshoots on the same basis. Yes they’re expensive but so worth it for the photos you get, IF it goes well, so I can see why you’re so gutted. Have you had the full album back yet?? You may be pleasantly surprised. A good photographer can really pull some lovely shots from what feels like a shitshow… I’d know 👀

Being excited about sticks and running about when you're out in nature and cuddling your dad is by no means being awful and doesn't reflect anything negative on you at all.

They didn't perform for the camera is all. Can't be cross with them for that.

I get why you're upset, OP.

I have very few photos with my dear Dad, as he was always the one taking them. Those that I do have are very precious.
Both mum and dad died many years ago, but are still loved and missed. And photos trigger many happy memories.

I hope your DH and DCs spoil you tomorrow and you have a lovely Mother's Day.

💐

We did a four seasons photoshoot series last year, very mixed results! I wanted to do it as like OP, there's never and photos of me with the kids or photos with the whole family in. 30 mins per shoot. We always did them outside but chose a different location for each shoot. The winter one was the worst, the kids were just too cold! I also felt a bit disappointed when looking through the photos that there weren't more decent ones, but we're already looking back and just finding them hilarious now! We did get a few good ones though across the four shoots, which made it worth it.

The photographer we used also does mini shoots, 15 mins for £50 and you could choose 5 photos from the 100 odd she'd take (or pay a bit more to have access to them all digitally, think it was about £30 for them all). You had to do those at a location of her choosing, as she books clients in back to back at e.g. a PYO flower farm in summer, woodland/pumpkin patch in autumn or an area with lots of blossoms/daffs in spring. Could be a cheaper option for you to try next time OP if you can find something similar near you, and it's easier on the kids' attention spans!

So, this morning’s photoshoot was (perhaps) a disaster. What have you been doing with your children this afternoon? I am just wondering because in the past 7+ hours you posted 42 times…

Whoops sorry. I see you were outdoors.

I hope the photographer surprises you when you get them back! Maybe they could see something although you thought it went terribly 🤞🤞🤞

Sounds like you’ve made two fundamental mistakes

1. booking a photoshoot outside in early March meaning there’s a high probability of unsuitable weather
2. not prepared your children for what’s going to happen at the shoot and what will be expected of them.