To be upset over ruined photo shoot?

well you and the other mums with these photos are lucky and lovely for you that you have thoughtful family and friends that see a lovely moment of mother and children and think to capture it.
Sadly as you can also tell by many posts on this thread that we all do not have thoughtful partners, relatives or friends like that even when they are asked sadly.
yes there are selfies which can be nice but tbh are not quite the same.

Sorry if I've missed this, but what ages are your kids? Kids aren't performing monkeys. Depending on the ages, you can't expect them to understand the importance of this day to you. They weren't doing it on purpose. They enjoyed their day picking up logs and for all you know there could be really lovely photos taken, just wait and see them! How long do you have to wait?

Im getting married later this year and I've ideas in my head of photos I would love to have of them, the reality is I'll be lucky to get 1 decent family photo. I've accepted that. I could let it annoy me on the day but the reality is it'll change nothing only make me upset, and they are too young to explain to them how important the photos are to me so whatever happens happens. Once they are happy I'll be grand!

@theblackradiator well as we’ve seen from this thread lots of people , myself included do have lovely photos with their children taken by others or selfie types so it is not a case of photo shoots or nothing for most mums .

This is the thing, nobody ever thinks to take in the moment photos of mums with their kids, my family certainly never did this and I really wish someone would have.
lots of photos of lovely moments of kids with dad or grandparents because I took them but absolutely none of me with them which makes me sad.
I used to ask but it still never happened.
So its a posed photo shoot for most mums or nothing.

I think with anything or any idea that we really want to do, it comes with high expectations, and sadly for you, it didn’t come off and it didn’t meet your expectations of it. I don’t think there really is an answer, the phrase “ no point crying over spilt milk” comes to mind. It’s happened, it’s done. I’d like to think the pictures will come out better than you think…I’d like to think a good photographer can capture some moments and smiles between the chaos, you might be surprised.

Check out the Awkward Family Photos instagram page. I promise you’ll be laughing about this one day.

I do understand why you'd be a bit upset. Kids are nearly 3 & nearly 5. I've taken them for Christmas photos for the last few years. Last year DS2 wasn't playing along. We did actually get some nice photos. It was the first time I was in them and we've got a cracking one of us as a family with DS1 beaming away and DS2 looking like thunder. I actually love it because it kind of highlights their different personalities. You might be surprised! Also they can head swap from other photos if needed.

They're posed but if done well, you get natural smiles and character. They're moments that actually happened.

If you manipulate images so you're imposing expressions or adding someone in, it's just moments you wished happened.

A few years back I was looking through photos from when the kids were little (eldest is 35, youngest 14) and DD3 asked why I wasnt in many of them. I said it was because it was always me taking the pictures.

Then I cried (on my own, no emotional blackmail!) because I realised that my ex husband was in loads with them but I wasnt. I cared enough to have photos taken of them but he didnt care to take photos of me with them.

I get it, and I would advise to not post on AIBU unless you want responses from people who get their kicks by taking others down. Its pathetic that they need to do that to make themselves feel good.

I get it. I got a free photo shoot via Emma's Diary when my dd was a toddler. My ds was 4 and behaved appallingly and dd, watching him, followed suit. So stressful, and I was also gutted. That said, 18 years later, I love now those photos....all I now see is the mischief in their eyes, and its fabulous, I miss those moments now. I hope you'll cone to love your photos.

Wait til you get your photos back before you feel disappointed!

I don't know, I had a wonderful photo shoot with my children when they were little. I think it depends on the photographer. The one we used had my daughter running around and made it a play activity. The whole thing was lots of fun. It made for a lot of fun shots and they're still my favourite.

OP, as mums we don't ask for much so i feel your pain, maybe next year you will have better luck🌺

Could you maybe next time a friend etc is near you and your kids pass them the phone. Maybe the fact it isnt staged will make the kids not notice and you'll get some nice ones x

I would’ve just sat/stood nicely in the middle doing a mix of posing nicely and posing like I want to give up and let the chaos go on around me
and seen what came up
probs some lovely chaotic art my shots

my kids hate photos

Sorry you didn’t get more empathy on here.

Humans deal worst with things where the gap between expectation and reality is large. So if we expect something to be shit, and it is, we cope well. But if we have sky high expectations and it does not go well, that’s where we fall down.

If literally none of the photos are usable, see if the photographer will offer you another session - perhaps indoors where it’s calmer. Don’t tell yourself “never again” - perhaps not in the forest until they’re more biddable.

I hope you are ok today. I do get it. I would get a kick out of a “silly” photo but I’m not you and many people wouldn’t.

What did the photographer say at the end?

Dear ne. Just sounds like another idea to monertze a special day for the sillyand the gullible. Has this come over from Ameica?

Thought Mothers day was about Mothers.
Am l being naive!

Don't write it off until you've seen the photos! I've have multiple professional photoshoots for my kids and there have been many times where I've been worried it was awful and the photographer (if they're worth their fees) always manages to capture lovely shots of them!

Also, we had a similar experience with a photo shot in the woods with our children. DS refused to take off his jacket, smile, and cried almost the whole time. We did end up with two wonderful photos that I was surprised the photographer was able to capture. They are hanging on our walls now. It’s very possible that there will be one or two photographs that you’ll like.

dear @iamjustgutted, I'm so sorry you were disappointed and I'm also very sorry that many of the posters on here have not seen your point or been on-side with you.
It was a disappointment. It matters to you. I get that.
Additionally, hovering in the background, I'm feeling a "lack" from DH. You say he's away a lot? Does he understand where you're coming from on this?

I've read all your responses, but not every answer on this thread, so maybe I've missed it: did anyone pick up how disregarded you're feeling?

Or understanding the "gap" that not having many photos of you with your mum, due to her early death.
I have very few photos of my childhood. Last one of my dad was taken when I was about 6 - 7yrs old (died when I was 12). Don't think I have a single one of me actually WITH my mum (died when I was 30).

I made sure I took a lot of my DD when she was little.
Now we have terrific lenses on our mobile phones, I have stacks of her and the DGS.

Perhaps you need to "tee up" your DH to be ready to take photos on his phone when "daily life is happening" between you and your DS?

Would DH be able to understand how important it is for you for those informal, happy, loving, spontaneous moments to be captured? It's not a difficult concept. If DH doesn't get it, well, then that's pointing towards a different/deeper problem, isn't it?

Ah don't worry, sometimes it just doesn't go your way, my baby slept through one of mine, took his clothes off and everything to try and wake him, just slept through the whole thing 🤣

Try again next year! xx

Order a tripod with a remote for your phone (cheap on Amazon) and set it up in your house, garden, etc to capture non staged photos of you interacting with your children. We have some that I love of me and DS gardening together, and cooking together.

Hahahaha! No, I bet those DS ones will be great and you’ll all have a good laugh at them. Just maybe not today x