To be upset over ruined photo shoot?

Ah, that sounds frustrating and I can see why you are upset but I promise you that feeling will pass and you will probably love the photo's one day. I saw an old photo of dd the other day, she looked so tiny and cute.....Then I remembered how absolutely exhausting she was being that day. It was blisteringly hot and she was insisting on blowing bubbles but tipping the bubble mixture all over herself and then throwing epic tantrums because it wasn't working. I was tired, mega grumpy, too hot and covered in bubble mixture with zero patience for it. I member my Mum telling me to relax and I couldn't and then got mad at her too. I also felt like because the whole outing was ruined. Sometimes parenting is shit in the moment. Love the photo now though! Sending you some 💐

In a few years when you are given brekkie in bed by your kids on mum's day morning, you'll remember today and well, laugh. Hopefully!

OP I do understand your disappointment but in years to come you will laugh at the pics . My lovely Mum had pics of me at a family wedding and I just scowled for every pic .

Absolutely this, there are fat too many unrealistic expectations these days.

Please do update us when you get the proofs through - crossing my fingers there will be some you like!

Could your DH take a picture of you and the children? Perhaps at home where they're all a bit more relaxed?.

It’s the mother’s curse to be forever the one taking the pictures, not in them 😂

I get it- I have been in your shoes and it sucks. I know it’s frustrating right now but all these other posters are right - my absolute favourite photos now are the ones where I remember what an absolute shit show was going on behind the scenes - and that’s because it gets better, OP I swear.

And ignore these grumpy buggers- Mother’s Day photos sound like a lovely idea. I personally think families should get professional photos regularly or as you said there’s never any good ones of you with the kids to look back on!!

though as a side note, now I always ask the photographer to also make sure they get a couple with me and DH/ the dog with no kids allowed 😂

No one is grudging your wish to have some nice photos, but small children don’t get the memo about how they can behave like maniacs every other moment of the day, but not for this ten minutes when something important is happening. Expecting otherwise is unrealistic.

DH’s niece, who was about 3.5 or 4, was a flower girl at DH’s other sister’s wedding. Asked if she wanted to do it, would she be ok walking up the aisle holding her older cousin’s hand in front of Auntie K? Yes, v enthusiastic, all excited, adored the fuss about her dress, was a total pro at the rehearsal, it was in their local church she went to every week, so familiar, loved getting ready with the grown-up bridesmaids and her mum, hair done in a curly updo with fresh orchids (!) by the bride’s hairdresser on the day etc. Except she suddenly, halfway up the aisle, started roaring crying, threw down her basket of flowers, ran back down the aisle pulling the flowers out of her hair, banged straight into the bride and got snot on the front of her wedding dress, refused to come back inside and had to be consoled in the churchyard, and appears in all the photos scarlet, mutinous-looking and teary, or hiding her face.

This was in the early days of wedding videos so it’s all on there, including her tantrum in the churchyard which is quite audible through a shut door during the vows.😀

My point is that kids don’t get the memo about behaving well for just a few minutes for an adult priority.

They won't have nothing. They will have happy and loving memories of you ❤️.

I’m really sorry that it didn’t go as planned, op.

I’d tell your h that you’d really like him to focus on taking photos of you, not necessarily posed ones, but ones of you with the Dc, until you feel you have some nice pics. if this is importantly to you, keep removing him to take photos.

This is a good idea; or you can get a used digital camera for under £100 (try CEX, they give a 24 month warranty) - the advantage of this over a phone is that it's much easier to set it up somewhere with the timer on to take a group photo, and as long as your DC are old enough to 'point and shoot' they can take pictures with it with no worries about them having access to unsuitable digital content.

Often nurseries put these on and team up with the photographers. Despite the fact I never would have chosen a staged indoor photoshoot (the gifted one I mention above was outdoors and largely candid) it was the first I'd ever tried it and again, we did get some nice photos and they're really precious snapshots because at baby/toddler age things like this just didn't happen - both of us looking faintly presentable and looking in the same direction as toddler!

Mine are in their 30s now, you’ll look back when they’re older and love the natural poses they pulled, take a few ones yourself as well. They’re not little for long, I love seeing any photos of mine when they were kids, pulling faces etc

We paid for a photoshoot when dd was 2. The best one is my flame haired toddler in a fairy costume with a very red face having thrown a strop.
My favourite wedding photos are the ones 5yr old dd took on a disposable camera.

Are your kids old enough to give disposable cameras too and all of you have a nice day out and frame the results?

To be fair you have asked AIBU. Some people will think you are being unreasonable.

I don’t do photo shoots as I’m about as awkward as it gets but I do understand wanting photos of you and the kids. I have tried so many times to get DH to take some but they’re just awful because of the forced smiles. My favourite photos with the kids are the selfies I’ve taken, mostly on the beach when we’ve all been laughing. You don’t have to have full body, looking spruced up and styled nicely. It’s the expressions that make the best photos.

As a family and children photographer, whilst you might have thought it was awful, if the photographer knows what they were doing you might find yourself surprised at how many lovely candid moments they may still get. Time will tell but we are used to kids being kids and not wanting to do what we need them to do. A good photographer will work with it and do their best to give you something lovely. You may just need to let go of the idea that they will gorgeously posed with everyone in place. Time will tell but. Hey there will be some you end up loving!

Honestly wait until you’ve seen the photos to decide how you feel! If the photographer is used to family photoshoots they’ve probably managed to snap a couple of nice ones amongst the chaos. Our daughter was 3 when we got married and refused to cooperate for photos so we mostly just left her alone as we wanted her to have a nice day. We have ONE nice photo of all 3 of us where I’m looking at her and trying to get her to smile, and honestly that one is all I needed!

You may be pleasantly surprised, I’m sure there will be one or two nice ones.
I don’t appear in many of our children’s photos either, because I normally take them 🙈
When you go out with friends maybe ask them in advance if they see a nice moment if they wouldn’t mind capturing it/taking photos of the day and send them to you.
One of my favourite picture of me and my children is sat underneath a tree, our hair is pretty wild, our outfits clash horribly but my friend had take it because we were all laughing.
Hope you manage to get some unexpected lovely ones and lots of chances in the summer to capture some more x

I think you’ll be surprised at how good photographers are at taking loads of photos and therefore getting a few good ones, even with reluctant children.

You might be pleasantly surprised at the results, photographers can do wonders with editing - I did a few face swaps when needed to get everyone looking/smiling in at least one or 2 pictures!

I assume this was a mothers day mini session? If you are desperate for some really nice pictures I'd recommend booking a full session rather than a mini - you won't get a 'set', but it gives the kids much more time to relax and most family photographers are good at prompting fun things to get the kids all laughing and smiling like doing silly walks together. Find someone who does half hour to an hour long sessions on location (field/woodland/beach) where there's space to explore and move around, so much less pressure on young kids than a set up in one place with limited time

Btw I think there's a Malcolm in the Middle episod about this exact situation. If you have Disney+ look it up and it might make you feel better!

We had a photo shoot with all the cousins when ours were little. The photographer caught a couple of decent one but the whole thing was a disaster. DS1 refused to sit and do what he was told DS2 seemed to forget how to sit so fell over or off everything he was put on or against.

Everytime I see the photos now (they’re hanging in my parents house) I laugh at the memories which were awful at the time and marvel at the skill of the photographer for catching one of the rare moments everyone was looking in the right direction and was upright. It’s obvious to me that DS1 happened to be walking past the camera and DS2 is mid collapse but no one else would know. It’s like a little private joke to myself.

Ignore the twats on here who are obviously getting their kicks from making someone feel shit (says more about them than you).

Happy Mother’s Day.

Back in the days at work when we had actual desks, almost all the parents had photoshoot pictures of their DC - at the time it was fashionable to have a completely white background. Most of these were very posed, but there was one that had the children clearly not playing ball, slouching around and one of them had taken their shoes and one sock off - I always thought that one was much more interesting than the others, which were nice but didn't stand out in any way.