To be upset over ruined photo shoot?

Hugs OP, as you say you lost your own Mum when you were young so I'm guessing Mother's Day is an emotional time for you, and you were trying to do something nice and it went a bit wrong, so it's completely understandable that you feel upset. It's not totally about the photoshoot itself (I'm guessing) but it's hard work being a mum to little kids, and it sounds to me like you need some looking after yourself at a sad time. If there's noone to look after you right now then try and do something that you know makes you feel better, even if all you can realistically manage is a walk or a TV cuddle with said kids. Just be kind to yourself. I get you xx

My MiL bought us a family photoshoot with our wedding photographer who is amazing at really natural pictures. We went to a local woodland in the autumn sunshine so it should have been lovely but my youngest put on a deliberate scowl face the whole time and my eldest stepped in dog 💩 as soon as we got there. It was not idyllic!

We still managed to get a few nice pictures though, I hope you do too, you may be surprised at how they turned out.

wait till you see the pictures, they might be ok

I am sorry. It’s disappointing when you get excited about something and it goes wrong. Maybe do it in a couple of years again when the kids are more biddable. Wishing you a good Mother’s Day.X

What??? I hope the fact you're upset is making you sound ruder than you usually are @iamjustgutted...

I think the disappointment is making you feel worse. You wanted a lovely day, you did not get a lovely day. However, the pictures will likely (if the photographer is a good one) be a lot better than you are expecting. You were focussed on the bad stuff on the day, but the photographer was on the outside and will have seen different aspects that you were unaware of.

My XH would NEVER take impromptu shots of the kids. If I asked him to take a picture, he'd want them all in their best clothes, washed and brushed and posed to within an inch of their lives (and you can guess how well THAT went down with them). So there aren't many pictures of me with my children. But my favourite picture of them all is when they were all sitting in the garden looking at something going on in the hedge (cat chasing something I think) and the shot is of the backs of their heads, all sitting together conspiratorially. So it's not even of their faces - but it shows the atmosphere and also the fact that they did occasionally all get on!

Thank you 🙏. I've re-read it, and can't see the problem, it was well intentioned and certainly no worse than most posts on here.
I apologised anyway.

I have loads of photos of my kids together but hardly any with me. I used to take the photo. I don't really like having my photo taken either so that doesn't help. I don't even think I have one photo of me holding my youngest. I wish I did.

I can understand being upset about this. I have always been the one to take photos - to the point where there are relatively few of me with my children. I arranged a couple of family photoshoots when they were small for this reason.

There was absolutely nothing patronising about that post.

Yes it's a bit shit when things don't go to plan, but they are your kids so surely you knew what to expect from them?

I remember being really upset because ds threw one of his first shoes out of the buggy and we couldn’t find it. For his big sister I had kept the first shoes in a box and it was really nice looking back on them as she grew.

But actually ds’s “first shoe” is a better memory than DD’s first shoes. Because it reminds me every time of what ds was like as a baby. He was a total Ninja! Shoes and socks were taken off constantly with the most amazing agility. And everything got thrown out of the buggy!

It took about a decade for me to realise but I got there.

Very few “perfect moments” are actually perfect in real life with small children. And, at the time, it was hard when the (ridiculously expensive) visit to Santa ended in tears or she spilt spaghetti bolognaise down her school uniform 5 minutes before the school photo was taken. Or when ds refused to have a photo taken at all with his new baby cousin. (The closest we got was one of dd holding him and ds with his back to them both looking really cross!) But now, when they are teenagers I like those imperfect moments as I have forgotten so much of who my kids were when they were little.

As I say though - it takes a decade! 😂

My dad was the photographer when I was growing up (70s/80s) - he took it quite seriously, he had an SLR camera - but the consequence was there are hardly any photos of him in our childhood. We had some family friends we saw once a year and they always took a polaroid of us in a group and gave it to us; other than that there are some 'family groups' from when I got given a little camera for my 6th birthday, mostly with the top of my dad's head cut off or completely blurred 😄. It is a problem when one member of the family assumes the mantle of photographer.

We did photo shoots. The photo of DS carrying a big stck log was one of my favourite shots as it captured his view to every walk 😀

A good photographer will grab the moment your DD turned her head and should be able to turn it into something special.

Wait till you get the results but I hear you.

And remember, they will 100% be better than school photos!

Selfies are your friend! Or ask your DH to take a couple of shots next time you're out. You don't need a professional photoshoot when practically everyone has a camera in their hand.

Have you seen the photos yet? You might be pleasantly surprised. We had a photo shoot done (it was one of those "free" ones where you get to choose one small free print) and it was awful. Our toddler didn't understand and kept crying and running off and we were tense and anxious. We said on the way home we would be amazed if there was a single good photo to choose. But when we actually saw the selection a couple of weeks later they were amazing and we ended up blowing a shameful amount of money buying several large prints.

I understand OP, I am sentimental and love looking back at old photos.

We had some family photos taken by a photographer when DC were small (taken in a nearby park rather than a studio setting) and it felt like an absolute shit show but the photos actually turned out great. And I look back on them now and they really capture that time (and the chaos!).

I can see why you are upset. You were looking forward to it for all sorts of reasons and instead had a miserable and disappointing time.

Try not to let it eat away at you because it will end up taking up more headspace and time than it deserves.

You can try again next year or maybe book in a Christmas photoshoot: at least next time, you will have a better idea of what might go wrong and to cope with it.

Your children are young and you can still have other opportunities for photo shoots, I know it's expensive but you can start a saving pot for it.

Put this miserable experience behind you, look on it as a dry run, a rehearsal for the next one which will be better.

Have you had the photos yet? I felt like that after a family photo shoot when DC were young. I had to sit on the floor BFing DC2 at one point, and DC1 was grumpy and not cooperative. I nearly cried afterwards. But when they arrived we still got some really lovely photos.

I completely get it. This is something you wanted to do, that meant a lot to you and it was ruined. It’s absolutely ok to be upset and disappointed by that.

My kids are older now but I still remember the Christmas Eve breakfast with Santa that I booked at hideous expense and they were so awfully behaved that I cried. It’s shit when something you’re excited about and looking forward to goes badly. I hope your day improves and happy Mother’s Day for tomorrow!

Oh dear, I have been there.
In my case, 2yo DC had a nosebleed at the beginning of the shoot, blood everywhere, and while everybody was focussing on them, their sibling managed to fall off the chair they were sat on.
My advice is to take lots of selfies with them and also to explicitly ask your OH to take pictures of you and the kids.

I'm sorry that you feel that way. That was genuinely not my intention. I was trying to help you.
Have a look at my other posts for context.
Obviously I'm not helping, so I'll leave now.
Good luck.

Sorry it all went pear shaped OP.

And no wonder you are upset in the midst of Mothers Day emotion and thinking of losing your own Mum young.

I think you need to speak with your DH about your upset about no pics and your own Mum etc. Or when you are out with a friend ask for some nice pics of you and your kids.

Keep the pictures to show them once they are adults what absolute little beasts they were - and guilt trip them into spending half their savings on a wonderful Mother's Day Treat for you.

I'm sure there will be some good ones. I have just watched a dvd made from an old cine camera of my friends son (now 32) in his nursery nativity play. All the little tots came out confidently singing and he went and hid behind a fake tree. The whole film is him behind the tree occasionally peeking out, it was hilarious.

Yes, I agree. We never had a photoshoot, and at one point ours wouldn't even be in any pictures at all! They're adults now, and honestly, it's fine.
Seriously. You're feeling upset, OP but listen to the voices of experience on here!