DG annoyed about pregnancy worries raised while he was gaming

If it is just a hobby then he sticks to playing when he is free then, not when he is supposed to be doing something else.

It’s fine to have a hobby, but he needs to learn that his imaginary world comes 2nd to the actual real world you both live in.

I can’t stand gaming and if someone describes themselves as gamer I imagine a basement-dwelling weirdo with questionable hygeine, lack of social skills, a penchant for hentai p*rn, a furry fetish and gender confusion. I appreciate this is NOT true of all of them though, but have been in feminist circles for too long!

DH is a techy geek type, would be a gamer given half the chance, but when the x-box began to be used well past bedtime, it was nicknamed the ‘no-sex box’ and mostly sits in the cupboard now. DS has a PlayStation and when the shouting gets too much I threaten to unplug it and send him out to play football in the park with his mates. I am keeping a close eye on its usage and he and DH are well aware of my views 😁.

So, YANBU to find your DH’s gaming ‘hobby’ deeply unattractive- it needs dealing with as soon as possible.

She chose to what could be 3 children with him, it was a choice

And what about the anxiety she’s feeling? But she should shut up and keep it in because if she mentions the possibility, her husband might have to think about someone else for a moment and share a burden? Because it’s not just her problem, she hasn’t picked up the wrong flavour of ice cream, this is very much a them problem and it’s right that joint burdens should be shared.

I guess it's an addiction..

To be fair it sounds like something that just popped in her head and she said it loud

He does sound a bit of a knob, but I think I would have spoken to him directly (whilst not gaming) and stated my worries clearly.

My DH is a gamer. However he only does his hobby when nothing else is planned. He doesn't prioritize that over his family. If I said "look can I talk to you about something" he would pause his game. He wouldn't game first thing in the morning to reclaim "his time" even after working all week because our kids are also his kids. He knows we are a family and that I need help too. He also wants to spend time with them.
Weekends are precious. He normally waits until the kids are in bed, if we don't watch a film, he will send a message to his group chat asking whos on the playstation....then I can read my kindle in peace.
He also doesn't go out on the drink, go to the pub etc. When your dh says this is he wanting a medal? You should say "neither do I"

I'm 62 F and love RPGs I've been gaming for years I also knit sew crochet walk my dogs go to the gym my hobbies are not sad and are not gendered.

Ah yes, the menz...

Who are we to decide what other people's hobbies are?

There are other hobbies he could do at home that don't involve the pub or getting drunk. Model planes/ships. Card games. Gardening. Sorry but I think any male gaming over the age of 16 to say 25 is a major major turn off. He is way way too old to be playing computer/video games. He is not a kid anymore. There is so much more he could do such as reading, gardening, model things etc. I could not be with a near 50 year old that plays computer games that would give me the ick. He really needs to grow up and get a proper hobby.

Why are you procreating with this man child?

I personally think gaming for any adult with young children and wife to support should only happen when the kids have gone to bed and where there’s a separate man/women cave at the bottom of the garden the gamer could retreat to (sound-proofed to!)

It should be kept as a hobby that doesn’t interfere with family life and kept to themselves, no one else in the house should have to listen to such nonsense.

I’d frankly be embarrassed to say my DH was a gamer but if it didn’t involve our household there would never be the need to mention it.

Just do a test. He's probably fed up of hand wringing and honestly if he's saying he can't focus etc then yes, he has anxiety about the possibility of another child.
Heaven forbid a man has emotions and dares to voice them out loud during a time of uncertainty.

But it isn't scheduled around family life. You make dinner, whilst he games and shows up late to the dinner table? You are tidying the house (that he also lives in) whilst he games!

Why is he not helping to clean, or setting the dinner table, or interacting with the children while you are doing the household tasks?

Waaaah you've given me anxiety while I'm trying to play my game? It sounds like the kind of thing a stroppy 13 year-old would say. What a pathetic, selfish creature he is. I'm not surprised you've lost your last iota of respect for him!

Coming late to the dinner table to finish a game, letting your children learn this is OK. Absolute deal breaker.

I game and now I'm retired I game a lot and have gamed all my adult life. I have never spoken to my partner or dc like that.

Except his is not scheduled around family life. It's instead of family life.

Your wife telling you that she might be pregnant is a pretty big and important part of family life.

My DP of 23 years is a gamer but he would always pause it/turn it off if I needed to talk to him about anything. Your DH sounds like a dick.

GOD, you are not unreasonable at all! What a prick! I also can't take men seriously who game like a teenager and think it's a badge of honor that they are not out there getting drunk instead

Just to be clear it wasn't me that used the term moron. Of course I got your point. The thing is some men (and women before anymore piles on) have acted immaturely for centuries but to me there is something particularly childish about gaming and then throwing a tantrum when asked to stop. Probably because this is how my son used to act when he was about 14.
Even if there was no aggression or tantrums and he only gamed when nothing else was needed of him, I don't think I could ever find a gamer attractive.

It feels like quite a low bar if the alternative to gaming is “I could be down the pub, coming home late, spending money etc”. I wouldn’t be impressed with either the way he spoke to you or the fact that he spends family time gaming. Having hobbies with young children is challenging but doable if you can agree on a way that allows both of you to have some downtime and that it doesn’t negatively impact on the other person. It doesn’t sound like this is what’s happening currently.